Keef

Looking forward to this evening, will be there around 9ish.

Agree, *bob* is king, long live the *bob*! Can I be Jack among men please, or page among men? :-S

First time I have really LOL'd rather than just sniggering quietly! Fecking genius!

*Hangs some mistletoe above the door of the thread* *Loiters whilst trying to look like there is a reason to be here*

Bit of a tongue twister first line here... When Tillie met Mr Tit Talker,

TT, it's not you who need blush at that one, if he's going to come on to 19 year old girls (ah memories) at a party attended by his wife, he's a knob, and deserves everything he got/gets. All flirting with other women (or men I guess) should be done when the other half is safely away in another postcode! Not that I have EVER flirted with anyone you understand! ::o

And don'y heckle and cause a fight! Is that how you spell heckle? Thanks to you TT, I now have the ready made name for my future offspring when referring to it on here!

I noticed that too. Fair play!

Got Wii Fit for Mrs Keef's birthday/xmas (at her request), and we opened it last night... So, first impressions. I have NO sense of balance, and will never master the tree!!! Skiing quite fun though! Mrs Keef has got me the snow boarding game for xmas (won't be opened til then), looking forward to playing that with the balance board! Oh, and BMI is NOT fair to people like me who are quite broad and stocky, but not very tall. It called me obese, and whilst I could do with losing a few pounds, I refuse to accept obese. Fortunately my doctor had already told me this was a total load of bol!ocks, else I may have thrown myself from the balcony after seeing that!

More importantly, is ANYWHERE open in the evening? Christmas evening is so bloody boring, wish there was somewhere to go drinking! Will have to get a mate to have a party. We always used to have our own session locked in the CPT, but those days are gone :'(

Okay, I've not had many office xmas parties, but the one I did have is a story to match most. In Liverpool in a big posh hotel. The previous week I had won a large bottle of bacardi on a "spot the ball" card at work, and as I was a bit short of cash, I decided to have a couple of early drinks. So, after drinking the entire bottle, I realised it was time to go and I hadn't eaten. Met my work friends in a bar in town, all dressed up in Dinner Jackets and bow ties. Carried on drinking... Got to the party, and can honestly say I don't remember anything in more than strange images. First of all I was trying to dance with a female friend from work, and insisted on spinning her round and throwing her about so much her boobs ended up out of her dress and on full display! She then started drinking to avoid the embarrassment. Shortly after the DJ announced that the buffet was open, and a queue formed around the dance floor. Now, I remember being the only couple on the dance floor dancing with the same (now very drunk) friend. It wasn't until the next day we were told the music wasn't actually playing at that point, and the entire queue was basically pointing and laughing! I found a watch on me later that night, that my colleague told me I'd won, and he'd collected because I couldn't get up the steps to the stage. After this, I actually "sobered up" a little bit, at least enough to join my pals in town where we ended up in an O'Neil's (I know). Whilst in here I fell backwards down a flight of 10 or so stairs, and then sat at the bottom trying to look cool whilst another female colleague stood at the top of the stairs laughing, pointing and saying "you knob'ead". At this point I thought it was probably time to go home. I remember being at the bus stop I remember getting on A bus I fell asleep I woke up, I didn't know where I was, I was still wearing a dinner suit, I was the other side of the Mersey, I WAS IN BIRKENBLOODYHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did I mention I was wearing a dinner suit? Ended up paying a cab driver everything in my wallet (a lot more than the fare would have been) to take me home. Couldn't remember my street name, but knew I lived in Wavertree, managed to direct him from there. Worst fear ever the next day, and easily the most drunk I have ever been. I have done all nighters ever since, but have always watched myself since that night. Now I get drunk, but I make sure I can remember MOST things the next day. That night took me a long time to piece together with hazy memories and witness statements! I miss that job, it was rubbish, but we had such a bloody laugh!

Yulefuckinglog! Posh swiss roll at 4 times the price, that's what that is!

Keane leaves Sunderland. No surprise there then.

The Dog or The Plough... CPT always was until last year, will look in to that. Doubt there will be much like on Lordship Lane. The Hearne was absolutely packed 2 years ago when I popped in.

I could be up for it, if I have any money, which is unlikely... Defo up for it after pay day though!

Many happy returns EDOldie!

Indeed BB, a fine job! When I started training for my job, we all went out on the first night. I was the youngest of the group at 23/24, the rest ranged from 27 - 55. Anyway, we all went out and got pretty ratted. I came back to my room and put some music on (at about 2am), I then phoned my ex who I'd left behind in Liverpool for the usual drunken nonsense phonecall. A couple of minutes later, the door went, and there in front of me was a middle aged Scottish man. "Are you going to turn that music off and let us sleep?" he asked in a raised voice. "F**k off" was my reply, before closing the door in his face. It was the next day that I discovered he was the director of the whole organisation, and that he'd suggested I be removed from the course... Kept my head down for a few days after that.

Dirty cow!!! Sorry, Ahem, I hope it'll be a delight.

Indeed, and Santa, Squeezes down those uncomfortable chimneys and gets covered in soot. Always tried not to make a mess. Makes sure the kids wake up to a lovely surprise on xmas morning. What a guy!

Comes down your bloody chimney uninvited! Treads soot all over the magnolia carpet! Sneaks in to your kid's bedrooms! Nonce!

Surely your missus has never been asked to leave a cab, she's so sweet to cab drivers when she's drunk! ;-) hoipolloi, could the person who told you about the cabs not fill in some of the other gaps, and did they know what had happened to your bag? As Piers has said, you got home, you still had all your clothes on (except your shoe, that is a great touch by the way!), and you're safe. I'd leave it there... Like I say, hair of the dog usually helps :)-D

Good work! You have what is commonly known as The Fear! My advise, pretend nothing happened and have a drink ASAP! I usually end up texting everyone and apologising just in case I did something bad. Usually turns out everyone was every bit as trashed as I was.

Lets go for some sun in Spain.

Torres now out for at least 4 weeks. Great! I agree completely that they need to take the time to ensure this doesn't keep on happening, but could really do without losing him... One or two other players really need to step up now and earn their money!

*holds Moos back* Leave it girl he aint worth it, you get me! *whispers to LuvPeckham You got bus'up by a girl innit!