ChavWivaLawDegree

My brother has been a programmer for about 20 years and sold up bought a farm and has a wife who now hates him!, But he's happy and is supporting his new farmy life in France by doing contract work from home for one of his old mates in the UK and is getting along quite well with it. He has lived in France for years before so speaks fluent French which helps.

There are enough programmers internety types on here to help me!!

I'm with downsouth, but you all know I want to run away and be a farmer already.

Maybe I should set up a school or something, put all that slagging around to some good use!

Hehe, I grab the headboard/pillow/mattress to stop that happening, but my ex-husband used to have to smother me with a pillow to stop the neighbours complaining about the noise.

I breed chavettes.

UC - "Famously, Tony Kaye took his name off the credits because the studio made him change the last shot. if you have seen the last shot as he made it you'd know why. it's a good deal more shocking than the crucifiction shot in the middle." Come on then, what happened that I didn't get to see??

"So CWLD do you Dutty Wine then? That's quite a dance that is but still legal, just" - Only when no one is looking!!

Hahaha

I have always told my kids that they can't swear around adults, and if I catch them swearing they get a clap round their head, but once they got to about 10, they started telling me off for swearing which is fu*&*ing irritating. It worked quite well though, because only one of mine swears at all.

I was gona say dutty wine way back, but remembered I can't do it, but you guys probably wouldn't know if I was making it up, so "Dutty Wine"!!

it's not made from toilet paper that has been recycled (I had to ask about that myself when I first saw it!), it's made from normal paper that is recyled into toilet paper.

Why is C**t any worse than pr!ck or d!ckhead? I've got a mouth like a sewer, but can't stand rascist or disable-ist cursing. Fattist is ok though!

HIgher learning is deep. What about American History X? Futile wastes of promising futures always make me feel sad.

Maybe your fingers are getting stronger, or your poo is getting stickier??

Congrats, hope your day is wonderful.

unfortunately lateral thinking is not his strong point.

Go on Maurice you can do better than that. Your condecending posts aren't usually as crass and clumsy as that.

This one made me laugh From the Axis of Evil extract. Tongue of the judge This recipe doesn't really involve a judge's tongue. That would be disgusting and illegal. 2 large aubergines 450g minced lamb or beef 2 onions 2 tomatoes, chopped 3 tablespoons tomato puree 1 teaspoon turmeric First make the sauce: saute one chopped onion, add the tomatoes, tomato puree and turmeric. Add a mugful of water, then season and simmer for 20 minutes or so. Remove the stalks and bottoms from the aubergines and then cut them lengthwise into slices about a quarter of an inch thick. Fry the slices quickly in hot oil so they are browned but not too soggy. Set them aside and make the stuffing by mixing the minced meat and the other chopped onion. Season and form into little sausages. Roll each of the sausages up in an aubergine slice and lay on a baking dish. Pour the tomato sauce over the top and put the dish in a medium hot oven for 40 minutes.

The Lib Dem Councillors who lived in a nice road near my old estate got it closed off with the result that all the traffic went through our council estate. In the fight to get it re-opened one admitted to living in the area benefitted and I forced them to admit the personal interest of one that had moved since the closure, but who lived there at the time. She still had a daughter living there. The people in the nice houses and new gated developments attended the meeting in force, and despite the danger to our kids on our estate campaigned hard to keep their peace and quiet. They make me sick.

Michael - Only if I got really desperate! Sean MG - Yeh I'm getting old, not as fit as I once was unfortunately. Don't get enough to make me even yawn nowadys tho, let alone leave me exhausted!

Now the traffic goes past the council estate polluting them instead of past the nice houses so I guess the lib dems will vote to keep it shut.

Antwone Fisher, Green Mile, Titanic (sorry!), The Bodyguard

As long as he pays first!!

Very pretty King Dick!