My funeral is going to be so much fun I'm actually devastated that I won't be there. Twice in my life I've nearly died. The first time I was very young but then when it happened to me again in my early thirties I was quite freaked out to think I might not get the funeral I want. So I wrote everything down. Cremated - obviously Really cheap coffin - no inexpense spared - something in heavy duty cardboard with a nice picture painted on it (note to self - send memo to Ikea suggesting a new line in "economy" coffins). If Ikea actually did make coffins they would probably be called something highly inappropriate - like "Skug" or "Jhikn". Music - well I'm keeping that a secret but, rest assured, it will be a great gig. A great party with only the best champagne and some drag queens doing a cabaret. My fabulous bitches can fight over my wardrobe when I'm gone. I hope they have fun. If you hear news of my demise on the Forum and, by chance, you happen to be a 39 in a Manolo, I suggest you get rount to my house sharpish - you'll think you've died and gone to heaven.