sillywoman

Hi Cath, we lost our much loved family cat last year to old age and are just about to start looking for new kitten(s). If you think your cat would be comfortable with us then I'm sure we could look after her and her brood for her 'lying in'! We have a house with a small garden, and we have 4 children. The youngest is 5 and the eldest is 13 - all have been brought up around cats so know about no teasing, no sudden movements and being quiet(ish around them). Also they're all at school so the house is quiet during the day. If you like you could come and visit to check us out, PM me if you're interested.

Further investigation Iaineasy, I got this email from a local friend who is about to qualify as a Doula; "sorry I wasn't about when you sent the email... I do not do any post natal work besides a couple of visits included in the "package" I haven't charged my full rate yet, as I am not qualified but I am planning to charge ?400 for two antenatal visits one month on call continuous support at birth one /two postnatal visits one month of email and phone call support afterwards, and breastfeeding help The prices this days fo doulas are between ?400 and ?850 postnatally when training they suggest to charge ?10 p hour I do not know how much they charge once they are qualified, you could run a search in Doula UK It sounds like the prices you've been quoted are over inflated so a local doula may bear further investigation. The Doula who sent this email is Jesusa Ricoy whose contact details are in the list above. She's lovely, local (West Dulwich) and will make you laugh. As duncanandtessa said, another wonderful (and free) option is getting with one of the absolutely exceptional midwifery teams round here. Albany (Peckham Pulse based), Oakwood (Forest Hill GP practice), The Lanes (Crystal palace Rd GP Practice) and The Brierly (East Dulwich Hospital) all deliver a service internationally recognised and emulated.

This is the one who quoted the price above. I don't know her so can't recommend or not, but she might be worth a call? http://www.doula.org.uk/utilities/userServices/user_profile.asp?userId=193 Have you been in touch with Doula UK as I think they recommend their members to charge within a reasonable price frame?

I read recently that it's about ?600 for a birth and ?10 an hour for post-birth in South East London. Does that tally with your research/ anyone else's experience?

Thanks Guys, some brilliant suggestions. We went to Whitstable (cos never been), then Herne Bay (pebbly) and on to Reculver Roman Fort. I wanted to go to Botany Bay, but was a beach too far for us. Will have to save for another day along with some of the other recommendations.

DVI uses Ruth Miskin Literacy programme (know as RML). I'm told it has a useful website which could maybe help you with the correct phonic pronunciation/ explanation for each letter or dipthong. English is such a tricky language to learn with so many exceptions to each rule, but this does seem to be quite a good clear programme for them to follow. With regard to the circus incident - I think I'd have gone with something along the lines of "you're right it does start with the 's' sound" (emphasis on the 'sound'). After all, she was right wasn't she, clever girl?!

Which are the easiest beaches to get to for a day out? I'm thinking golden sands rather than tidal mudflats . . .

Hmmm, she's not a Doula though Lorraine & an independent midwife will be significantly (and understandably) more expensive and less flexible in what she's willing to do for a new Mum. SainandTony, you might try the Doula UK website for information about rates and what they do, or below are the details of some South London Doula's you could give them a call and ask them. Name: Emma-Louise Radway-Bright
Title: Postnatal Doula
Tel: 0796 395 4065 E-mail: [email protected]
www.myfamilydoula.co.uk Name: Laura Hayward
Title: Birth & Postnatal Doula Tel: 0795 742 1232 E-mail: [email protected]
 Name: Delia Muhammad
Title: SE London Rep. Doula UK; Midwife; Birth & Postnatal Doula Tel: 0798 421 6151 E-mail: [email protected]
www.yourcomforter.org Name: Dawn Gall
Title: Birth & Postnatal Doula Tel: 07534 298 605 E-mail: [email protected] Name: Jesusa Ricoy
Title: Birth & Postnatal Doula Tel: 020 8671 4330 E-mail: [email protected]
 Name: Lea Ouai
Title: Birth & Postnatal Doula Tel: 0784 700 9170 E-mail: [email protected]


The Salvation Army do a shoebox scheme each Christmas. Don't know any more details but maybe worth a google?

ClareC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Also, are there any decent secondaries in the area > (state)? Both The Charter, and Kingsdale have very good reputations and are oversubscribed due to their popularity. 2 of mine are at the former and both are doing well socially and academically. We're very happy with it.

eater81, I think I hear Tunbridge Wells calling you. It's saying "come home, come home" . . .

Nicholas Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Hi, you sound like a sensible hard working mum of > three. 4 actually ;-) and thankyou - what a nice person you sound. I like you.

Hi Cath, I'm on the January course, but I'm the teacher! Looking forward to meeting you in 2010 ;-)

Gosh, aren't those private schools canny?

Hi Emma, you may find that 'positive' birth stories are harder to come by than the more, um . .dramatic ones. This is because women who have straightforward & uncomplicated labours can feel that they have no story to tell. 'I had contractions, It was quite hard work, then the baby was born.' Isn't going to win any prizes for edge of the seat narrative. So labour tales can become self selective - only the ones that contain some element of shock get repeated onward. It doesn't mean that there aren't as many woman out there having positive experiences of labour, as there are having nightmare labours. In fact there's probably more - you just don't get to hear about them.

Some of my daughters friends went to Bessemer & had a lovely time. The parents were strongly supportive of the school and were as happy with their kids education as I was (am) with mine at Dulwich Hamlet. It always sounded like a lovely community school to me.

Having spoken to many doctors on this point it is clear the anti-section mood at the moment is purely due to funding with many recognising extreme government pressure to keep elective sections statistics down. That all said - most women deliver perfectly easily without sections and recover very quickly so it really is down to personal choice. Ooh Millie42, dangerous talk.

Completely agree with everything Mrs lotte says - in fact Mrs Lotte, you could be me! ;-)

Is it true that girls tend to do better in a Montessori environment than boys?

There's a quote somewhere about guilt being the currency of motherhood - it's so true. Oh God, I cringe to think of how I shout. My poor kids, & yes we all know it does no good to them or us but just sometimes they push those buttons . . .GGrrrrrr! Anyway emc you really aren't alone at all. Also I know couple of (lovely) women who make it part of their parenting ethos to never, ever shout. Their kids are horrible brats. They'll probably grow up to be lovely, well balanced adults and mine will be delinquents - but right now, they're brats. Of course I know this proves nothing, before I get shot down in flames, but just thought it worthy of comment in the spirit of support to us poor beleaguered, unintentional shouters.

No effect on 3 of my 4, the youngest was a bit under the weather (slightly feverish, a bit lethargic and grizzly) from about 12 hours post inoculation. It lasted a couple of days if I recall correctly. I would've thought you'd be alright an hour after the event?

Mrs Lotte summed up the situation re primary applications perfectly, but I can't agree about secondary schools. Mine are at The Charter and have friends there who come from the area around Goose Green (we don't live very far from you ourselves), My friends daughter lives the other side of Peckham Rye and has just begun at Kingsdale with many of her ex classmates. So if it's secondary you're after, apply for both, or either. you'll definitely not be wasting your time.

Extract from sons school planner (not called 'homework diary' now apparently) from last week; "French: lern somefing (sic)" Errr, well, yes . . . . !

As a cyclist, driver and Mum of 3 small cyclists (who do use the pavements) I think that big apple's suggestions are eminently sensible. I nag, and nag at my boys to 'always ring your bell if you're coming up behind people' and 'always say thankyou when people move to let you pass', 'slow down as you approach people' and so on, and so on but there are no recognised 'rules' for kids cycling on pavements so I can only try & instill in them what I consider to be the essentials. Sometimes I feel I'm floundering in the dark. In the absence of any safe cycle lanes, or routes to school, a proper training course for 'school cyclists' would be great. It's hard with kids, as by their very nature they are still completely egocentric and can find it hard to understand the impact of any inconsiderate cycling on the pavements - they just don't think that cycling up behind someone might be frightening or shocking for them. I'm not excusing bad cycling behavior, just trying to explore some of the issues that may be at play. personally there's no way I'd let my 5, 9 or dippy 12 year old ride on the roads - they'd just be lorry fodder. Though my 12 year old has had the excellent free southwark training he just doesn't yet have the common sense or foresight necessary to judge traffic situations adequately. And sadly the times of day they need to use the roads coincide with the busiest, and therefore most dangerous, time on the roads.

Yes it's normal Heidi, though uncommon. It will wear off eventually but can take some months. Like all drugs epidurals have side effects and it's impossible to predict in advance how the drug will affect each individual. Infected stitches are also normal and common. Keeping clean and dry is crucial. A hairdryer on cool setting on the stitches after bathing, some say salt water baths help, a valley cushion (hire from Alison Tunley: 0207 639 6366) or a small travel cushion for sitting on, try to get unbleached maternity pads and change them frequently to avoid irritation and reinfection. Finally some Mums find using a squirty water bottle to mix warm water into the stream when they wee helps to reduce any stinging. Also watch your diet - lots of fruit and veg and water (steer clear of citrus fruits - it won't help the stinging) to avoid any constipation (ouch!). Tongue tie is also common - Kings have a specialised clinic for it. No, they don't expect to be the ones to spot it, it's something that usually becomes apparent within the first week or two and is usually flagged up by the parents (as in your case) as they are the ones spending the most time with the baby and responsible for the baby's health. Occasionally a community midwife or health visitor will be the one to see it, even more rarely one of the overworked midwives on the postnatal ward, but mostly it's the parents. As with all things to do with your babies health and growth from the point of birth on it's the parents responsibility to ensure the babies ongoing wellbeing and bring any discrepancies to the attention of the health carers - their only responsibility is to investigate those discrepancies as fully as possible and take appropriate action. And from what you say it seems Kings has done this all the way through for both you and your baby. So, maybe you can take some comfort in the knowledge that your experiences are common? Hopefully you'll get lots of posts with advice of what other women did to ease their infected stitches. Labour and birth are arduous and risky businesses and the more interventions you have during the process the higher the risks of a longer recovery time as in your case. Rest well, take all offers of help and hopefully you'll soon be on the mend.