dulwichmum

Were you planning on being clothed during this "petting" Ms Trotter?

OH MY GOD !!!

This is pure filth. That poor sheep. Shame on the lot of you for laughing about this. God help him, that poor little wooly chap was probably just skipping about, chewing grass and minding his own business when along came a man in a black polo neck and grey jogging bottoms. I am not sure what part of this entire story I find most offensive, but please Tillie, I am assuming you are female? What exactly are you intending to do to Gods lovely creature when you get off the bus in Chislehurst? I know where you live Mr Keef, and I shall have a chat with your lady wife if I hear any more of this disgraceful inendo about mammals. I think I am getting one of my heads...

I love Michael, Keef, Sean, Piers, Mark and Kalam. I am still holding a torch for Batdog - but it has been so very long now (sigh), I wonder where he has gone...

Perfect Strawbs, I have five of them growing in my greenhouse. If you would like one, drop me a PM, they are just flowering now. Bea x

Perfect Moos, do pull up a bar stool, I was snoozing in the fridge. Can I offer you a nice cold glass of something with fresh mint?

OHMYGOD! Why call sweet Peckhamgatecrasher a "Titian"? Here, have a bottle, each... Sit down please and explain!

Sweet Peckhamgatecrasher, how nice to see you, and you too Moos darling. Let me pour you both a drink. Now where did I put my dog stunner?

Wafts into quiet room followed by au pair holding damp duster. Throws open curtains and opens window. "Where are all of my chums? I want to play..."

Perfect Chavlette, Where is Brixton in all this? I insist that a 20 minute number 3 bus trip through machete central be offered at a cost of only ?1 on an Oyster card (plus ?350 for an armed body guard).

I became paranoid once when someone started logging onto the West Dulwich forum calling themselves my password, but on reflection, I was simply being paranoid. The Administrator is indeed a genuinely balanced and reassuring person (sigh).

Lovely Razza, My au pair swears by Xen Tan! I must be paying her too much...

Drops implements of torture... "Lets see darling Citizen, show us, I promise to stay still..."

It is not so much the advertisements that make me want to dispose of the TV. Has anyone else seen the episode of Doc Martin where Aunty Joan has a "love in" on the stripped pine kitchen table? OHMYGOD!!! I can still see her carpet slippers and swollen feet swaying backwards and forwards... I need to lie down.

Thanks Moos for perfect tipple. Waves want: *ZAP* "Why Michael, my tiny man, you have arrived just in time to have these Botox injections! I am so very curious to see how they work!"

Oh no! What have I said?...

Waves wand, summons him back ... ZAP!

Any of those is fine by me!

Let me pour you a drink Mr Paleguts. I am a little tipsy already, oh how I love you sweetie!

Hurrah, (rubs hands together gleefully) lets bathe him first! Produces pressure washer from behind favourite armchair and laughs as perfect Moos chains My Ploppyguts to the far wall!

Don't warm your hands up sweetie, lets be cruel! I was wondering if I shouldn't in a waxing specialist and give him a BS&C!

"Kalam darling, thank God you are here, lets cellotape him to that bar stool and do our worst!!!"

"Help, someone help me please." "Mr Popadogpoo is looming towards me accross the room..."

I can't seem to find the date for the next one, when is it boys and girls?

I love this forum because: I have met so many great friends on here, and then off here too. This forum has made me laugh out loud when I am feeling down and given me so much pleasure (sigh)... I LOVE THE EAST DULWICH FORUM MWAH