dulwichmum

But Sean, it would be shameful not to admit that you are terribly destinguished looking. You don't suppose that Mrs Dr Boo was fancying you, and wanting to ravish/play tonsil hockey with you? OHMYGOD! I mean she is a married lady, and you have a lovely girlfriend. You know how I can't abide infidelity. However, Dr Boo stocks a really super range of skin care products by Bliss - and perhaps you could negotiate some kind of super discount for me... in exchange for your handing over an occasional quarter of sherbert bon bons... (if you see what I mean).

I was a heavy smoker but managed to give up about 8 years ago. It is as hard an addiction to kick (I have read) as drugs, and it certainly took me several attempts. I really empathise with fight for freedom of choice, but really, smoking in a confined space like a pub is forcing the staff and other customers to inhale other peoples smoke. I think that the ban should remain in force as it is...

Darling annaj, I should have known! I apologise. It is my own bad mind...

Annaj, crude inuendo is beneath you... surely?

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/54/039_14209~Raquel-Welch-Posters.jpg Basically, I am a publicity hungry beauty...

Are you ready for my shoot then Mr Director? Yes indeed, I look stunning in my new furry bikini...

My mother says that film is blasphemous - I will not spell check that word as I have been drinking anyhow...(hic!)

Couldn't you accept it and then give it to me? I would love to be Dame Dulwichmum, now what do I need to be awarded to be made a Dame?

My friend Susan said; "They only built Tesco to keep the riff raff out of Waitrose..." I am sure it is her own original - isn't she divine?

Oh LostThePlot, I really am quite the air head!

I should pack a good supply of good quality toilet tissue if I were you. In my experience, as soon as one steps onto the Eurostar at St Pancras, standards start to slip. The rest of the world is full of barbarians where even basic personal comfort is difficult to find. The French seem to pride themselves on using pink baking parchment to wipe their nether regions, God himself only knows what goes on in South Africa. They may even use stinging nettles for all you know.

Darling Tingawee, OHMYGOD, what a frightful guest!!! But there really are some genuinely coarse suggestions on this thread regarding how you should tackle the situation. I myself would simply show him the door. Say something along the lines of "It simply isn't working old man, hey ho" while tossing his ruck sack onto an open fire in your back yard and observing as your gardner digs a grave shaped hole in the middle of your lawn...

Oh Moos darling, I think the right shade of green with kingfisher blue is divine! Sweet Nero, shall I lend you my weapons?

This is wonderful news. I love the vivid blue of a super lovely Kingfisher. Cheltenham Race Week is coming up in March, and I need a new hat. I have a pair of Purdy shotguns under the stairs...

You and me both PeckhamRose, anytime I get excited about something - the wheels fall off it.

OHMYGOD!

Shame on you Domitianus - you are a filthy beast.

Please help me out here - I admit it, I am as thick as two short planks. I don't get it...

Dear Franglaisia, Why don't you shop on the Boden sale website - they have 70% off at the moment, and Ed/Tomlinsons/the Duwlich Trader currently have similar discounts on Hobss/L K Bennett and Avoca in their sale too!

I would go for The Portland everytime. You can have your bikini line waxed under epidural (the only way to have the rug pulled from under you - so to speak) and Bharti Vyas herself comes in to provide facials! (It really is the only way to get an appointment with that woman). There is a romantic dinner for two with Champagne on day three too! I think it is something like 10K for a C section (for maternal distress - which is a real medical condition you know). The munchkins were given Portly Panda bears and intitiated into their special Portland type club, and now we get special newsletters and invited to the annual picnics in Hyde Park. Networking (even for the tiny) is so very important if these poppets are to get anywhere in this town... you have no idea!

Shame on you Domitianus - this is filth!

OHMYGOD! How romantic. I see myself behind enemy lines, wearing a Burberry trench coat, red lipstick, a beret and cycling a double decker bicycle (covered in baby carrying appliances). I will say this only once...

We could just grab a pair of "doggers" from College Road - they are genuine animals, and nothing is too good for them. I have a large Le Crueset caserole dish I could put on my Neff brushed steel range and boil lots of water. What do you say? I am in the mood for a linching... (how does one spell that word?)

Darling HeidiHi, The WDF are all from Norwood, I know it, suffering from post code shame the lot of them. I would love a British nanny in principle, but in the past (when I had nannies) I have ended up spending more time on the naughty step than the children. Ever since Jo Frost swept into town on her damn broom stick it is all routine, star charts and calm indoor voices. I love to kick up my heels of an evening at a cocktail bar in town, bribing the children with a new play frame or T shirt from the Boden catalogue. I really am quite the party girl you know (...hic).

I tried stirring it up that but they almost swallowed their teeth. I don't know who posts on that forum, but they all claim to shop in Lidl and adore being shot at in Norwood and mugged in Gipsy Hill. I don't get the impression they are representative of West Dulwich at all...(sigh). We really are extremely posh you know.