dulwichmum

OHMYGOD! What kind of young woman would go parading about the place specifically in search of a man with means? Wonders will never cease. Men are so often attracted to a woman for her looks (I am simply stunning so I know a lot about this), what is wrong with a girl looking for a little insurance policy?

Is it too late to throw a granade?

Pokes head out from under sofa, OHMYGOD - what a hangover. I want to die...

Grrrr. I win, where is my prize?

Pull up a chair you darling man, here let Kalam sit on your knee (I am a married lady afterall ... hic)

Let us scurge Michael together. Here, look, I have sharpened my small dogs teeth earlier. Lets hide behind this sofa and leave a copy of Razzle on the sofa. Shhhhh... Oh Michael, Michael dear heart...

OHMYGOD - don't even start me off on the au pair tale - Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiillllllllll.... (is my mascara running?)

Does anyone in here have a corkscrew? I can't find a corkscrew - oh er actually, it is a screw top - pass your glass KalamityKel, and where has Michael gone now?

Just call me Mrs Kipling!

No, I am still here, but now I am helping to scurge Michael...

Sex was just never enough for me! What about bank balance?

I agree SteveT, "I find the working class people like me refreshingly more straight forward to deal with than many," that is why I emply them to look after my children.

OHMYGOD! Where are you? Can I send you a cab? (or at least some alcohol???)

I know, shame on them. And where are they now?

DUSTIN the turkey - in the name of God!

OHMYGOD! I am sensitised to capacity by tales in the Sunday papers of Vanessa Ann Hudgens and her outragous filthy behaviour... pass the tamazepam!

Lets see, it is Sunday night, it is after seven pm, the poppets are on their way to bed, and I am wafting about the house (have I mentioned that it is the same size as the Tate Modern?) in an Allegra Hicks kaftan sozzled on half a bottle of Saint Veran White Burgundy (40% off if you buy six bottles - well it would have been criminal not to...) Whats new?

Come on Sean MacGabhann, defend me here. Dustin the turkey is simply the best in childrens entertainment (him and Bagpuss obviously)

The poor girl! I shall send the au pair straight over with the Dyson and a box of Lemsip.

Shame on you dear Michael...

Dear Mamafeelgood, I would love to agree with you, but no, this is...

Here lovel Ant, have a Duchy Original shortbread to dunk in it...

Wanders into quiet room with enormous sign saying; "Where is Chav gone?" Does anyone know where my playmate has disappeared to?

Perfect Asset, It means "Not our class darling". runs behind Michael Popalopagus's chair to hide...

Dear Growleybear, That is good to know, I had heard otherwise from parents - and as my children are still so small, we are not yet in a rush to investigate further as we thought that scholarships were only offered in secondary school. I had read that independent schools had been forced to reduce the size of their burseries over the last few years in order to offer more of them, and I was under the impression that they were awarded on merit and not according to need. We will not require financial support of any kind (clearly), but I imagine that a scholarship will look fabulous on my munchkins UCAS forms when they are applying to medical school.