dulwichmum

Wafts into quiet room wearing a perfect little black dress and a Fuschia bandana... Now, what shall we do to entertain ourselves this afternoon?

I prefer not to think of it as a beard, more of a couple of stray eyelashes that have sprouted unexpectedly on my chin...(sigh). Have you considered lazer treatment? I would hate to be considered as a "novely woman at a fairground" OHMYGOD!

Indeed, I too would not like to purchase from a shop that allowed cosmetics to be returned. I love Dr Boo, their staff are incredibly helpful and their stock of Bliss products a complete God send. I cannot understand the fascination with MBTs myself as they make women walk as though they have been inflicted with haemorrhoids... (sigh)

Myself! (sigh)

Poor lovely Moos, Staying at home with baby is both empowering and earth shatteringly destructive of one's self esteem. You and your poor lovely man and baby, what a stressful time. When Mooslet becomes more mobile and begins to manhandle your Bang and Olufson accessories, you could actually be glad that you can hand him over to someone else to care for during his waking hours... or you could be surprised by how little you can survive on as a family if you consider perhaps some kind of compromise like reducing your days at work (I mean, how many San Tropez treatments does a girl really need?). Have you considered drinking half a bottle of Chablis each evening? It has done wonders for me and my young family (although I must admit that the whites of my eyes have just turned yellow). You can have your vino delivered in bulk from Majestic you know...

I try to be kind to the environment - and experience how the other half lives, so that I can truely understand the magnitude of my husband's fortune. I was actually wearing a DVF wrap dress and the tie became undone - what is a girl to do(sigh)?

That is not the kind of thing that you admit to Father O'Connor dear heart. He would just look puzzled and tell you to wear cotton socks and improve your personal hygiene. Have you considered that you may have a yeast infection?

I know what you mean... We could skip the salt and lemon and just stick to the neat tequila if you prefer?

GRITTY! How very dare you. This is not SE15 darling. I shall have to go and lie down with some rescue remedy...

Copleston Road is named after my great grandmother, Dame Eliza Copleston. The road was named after her by the man who built it. She was a great beauty of her day, and Lord Michael of Popadopalot became completely transfixed by her enormous eyes and the perfect shape of her ankle. It caused a terrific scandal at the time and is best left alone as she was a married lady with two young children at the time... Lord Plopalot's behaviour was a complete disgrace I have heard, and I believe that he was run out of town by my grandfather. He is rumoured to have eventually made a fortune selling hair tonic before being strung up by the itinerants!

Darling Michael, I shall instruct a servant to toss a vat of boiling water out the upstairs window tonight while you are trying to sing to me. Your jealousy is there for all to see. I am a married lady dear heart, calm down tiger. My heart belongs to James (and his cash belongs to me!!!).

Gosh, what is all of this talk of tissies, I can't imagine what they are talking about. Anyone for tequila?

Gosh, I really am gorgous for a woman of my age. I think that so much is down to bone structure, don't you agree? And yes, the bow comes undone. I caught it in the automatic doors of the number three bus last night and it was a great source of embarassment!

I think that you should start a blog!

It sounds incredibly painful, is it anything like PVC?

I love it when we post photo's of ourselves on the forum...

I sooo hope that you all find yourselves long term, supportive, satisfying relationships soon dear hearts. I can't begin to imagine how I would ever survive without James and all of his lovely money... I must dash, Sloane square on a Saturday morning is my favourite place in the world (sigh). Moos darling friend, why don't you join me at Patiserie Valerie for elevenses?

How very dare you ????, I have a good mind to sit on your chest (I am a 6ft retired brickie from Penge afterall) while forcing you to wear headphones playing Daniel O'Donnell.

I shall have a word with Father O'Connor this very morning. I am not having this...

Bless me Father for I have sinned, It has been five years since my last confession... I have indulged in idle flirtations on an internet forum, I have sullied my thoughts and words through engaging in inuendo and filthy talk. OHMYGOD, I have had the best fun! If heaven is full of people drinking milkey tea and saying the rosary like my mother, I know where I would rather be. Shall I open a bottle? It is virtually midday afterall!

I am afraid that the coal hole it will be, and I may slap your legs too unless you apologise! Shame on you little man...

Indeed Moos, you really are a good friend. Do you have some lemon and a collection of tissues?

Peckhamgatecrasher and SteveT! Shame on the pair of you. I cannot believe what I am reading. If I hear anymore of this, the naughty step will be too good for you and I will toss the pair of you into the coal hole.

Batdog... (swoon)

Michael, you desserve a good kicking for that. How very dare you? I am prepared to admit that I am self centred, breathtakingly superficial, and the sharp elbowed manipulative mother of a nightmare from hell, but I would never drink when pregnant, AND I didn't start my family until I was in my late 30's. Shame on you. My poppets come first (sob).