dulwichmum

Grrr. Someone sedate me please...

I blame the nannies. If you ask me they are not trained properly. Honestly, it is just so very difficult to get good help.

Oh Brenda darling, do you feel cheap? I wonder how it feels to provide someone with sexual grattification for for cash...

Darling Friend, Yes please! Can I offer you a Minstrel? I just purchased 2 enormous bags of them for just ?2 in Tesco on Croxted Road. I desserve a treat... Would you like some coffee with that?

Come on boys, you know you want her...

The name "Trinity" makes me come over all religious... How about this little cutie? http://www.thegvda.org/ugly_nun.JPG

Clearly!

In the name of God! How incredibly un pc to use such a phrase, how shallow and crass! What does he earn Bellenden Belle, let him lay out his stall so that we can assess his true partner potential.

You boys are all so very kind. I think that I shall write you in too. I think that this would make a perfect sub plot. I shall be played by Liz Hurley. Who will play you, please Mr Mockney dispense with the glass, just pass me the bottle...

*Sniff* *Sob* *Wail* ....................(sigh) The publisher I was signed with has gone into liquidation. So many of the people who published through them will never receive any of the royalties, it is so very dreadful indeed to see all of their hopes and dreams disappear into smoke. I broke my contract with them in February, when I got a super smart agent who read my contract and informed me that this publisher and contract was absolutely shite. I am so relieved to be away from them, but so sorry for so many of their lovely authors... I may even open a bottle or two. I think I may need to lie down. Or, perhaps I will go shopping instead! Afterall, in the words of Scarlet O'Hara; "tomorrow is another day!" I think that I will incorporate the entire fiasco of the liquidated publisher in my revised manuscript! You know that I find inspiration simply everywhere. I shall right now incorporate a portly red faced red head with no conscience and an emormous beer gut into my plot! Hurrah.

What was it?

Darling Michael, surgical gloves for picking your nose dear heart? Gosh, you really are frightfully thorough! SteveT, I think that you need a cup of milkey tea and a cold bath. Shame on the pair of you.

Darling Mr SteveT, Have you considered perhaps brushing your teeth, and occasionally washing your pits? I believe that personal hygiene is very popular with the ladies...

Darling Mr SteveT, Have you considered perhaps brushing your teeth, and occasionally washing your pits? I believe that personal hygience is very popular with the ladies...

Darling Bagpuss, Why were you pressing your buttom? I must dash behind this screen to dress myself appropriately for company... http://snipsnap.org/space/kingwong/nun.jpg Ah, that is better! Now Michael - I think you should buff your own handrail. I am a lady afterall!

Indeed Mr Popadopalot - I hate to think of your fingers sullied with smut...

Here you are darling Mr SteveT, why don't you give me a hand, I believe the litrene needs scrubbing... I can't stand it if the privey is not sparkling and my cleaner is not answering my texts! http://www.sebastianheroiu.com/_760x520_02-01/art_direction/domestos_portrait-a4.jpg

Perfect KalamityKel, I am in fact a retired brickie from Penge, and I have a hairy back! In my day I was terribly attractive you know...

Michael! I sooo do not look like a donkey, how very dare you. I am actually convinced that I can smell an animal in this room - have you brushed your fangs lately? Now everyone clear off while I get on with some damp dusting... http://www.sajwebdesign.co.uk/images/dusting.jpg

Fine work indeed Moos, I have a selection of crushes on Mr Mockney, Sean (sigh) MacGabhann, Mr Keef, darling Michael - Batdog (swoon) and Mark!

I want an invitation ... (sigh)

I cannot recommend this highly enough...

Michael Paleproctologis - you shall have a good kicking the next time I see you lurking outside the Co-op chemist on Lordship Lane...

Indeed, I like Bria, she is one of the best...

Perfect Michael, I read on another thread that it implied er... exotic tastes - and you know how much I love to abuse you!