Nero

Anyone know when, why and on whose behest police, fire and ambulance vehicles' sirens went from 'nee-naw, nee-naw' to the American 'woo-woo-woo-woo'? I would like to know. Nero

Like it, Clare, like it. Nero

I am really trying hard to get this owl thing. I have googled galore on MP's advice, but don't get it. I'm prob not missing that much anyway. Nero :-S

Don't get the owl reference, MP. Explanation? Nero

Songs to cry to? Sod that, I skrike at adverts. WHY was she such a bitch to that Yakult man? :( Nero

I love that record. Where do you get the 12" version? Never heard it. Nero

Since I discovered EDF, nothing else comes close. Stuff Proust and his stinky madeleines. Give me Snorky's life-affirming positivity and Huguenot's stripped-back, rustic anti-Baroqueness anytime. Nero

Matt. I was very well disposed to you. Then you complained you were 33. And my benevolent heart she did turn to carbon. If only you knew what it was like for me, a Peter Pan Poppinjay, prematurely grey, to hear someone bemoan such a youthful year-tally. I can hardly stomach my advocaat and Eccles Cake. What would Elsie Tanner do? Hmmmm. Leave me be for a few mins. I should recover. Might even make it to the drinks on Friday. Nero

Mr O'Hill, Get with it! This part of the area is Upper East Dulwich, aka Upper East Side. See? You've learned how to talk Agentese already. Take that, North Dulwich Triangle. Yah-boo, sucks to you Goose Green village. We Uppertons know we're a rare and special subtype. Same but different. Celebrate your diversity! (But don't forget to lag your pipes.) Nero

I saw the rainbow colours, each with a description, and for one slightly uneasy moment thought the EDF was going to be tutored in the handkerchief code.:-$ Nero PS Don't let DM see this. She thought dogging was sub-Sade depravity wise.

It sounds like Tom Parnell is a first rate local journo. He tells local people about local things. Those local people then tell other local people, who also like to learn more about stuff close to home. Good for him and the South London Press. Nero

Wait another week or so and you might enjoy the pizzas at Lorenzo 2, or whatever it will be called, on Forest Hill Rd, near the Coop. Nero

They are not charities. The more truthful of them will explain they are a business that sells clothes at affordable prices to poor people abroad, or that they get money to recycle them. I think that is fair enough. You pays your money etc. Those that don't, well, keep a copy and send it to the local trading standards folks, or a local Councillor. That's the only way to do it. Compost the paper or recycle it, that's the best you can do. Nero

Howsabout a EDF outing to Le Moulin? Mind you, it might be a bit loud and numberful, thereby negating all the good things about it such as its being quiet etc. Nero

I've got white flecks on some nails. It is not a calcium deficiency, apparently. Maybe zinc? Always had them. Nero

Boris is deffo SE22. Maybe A-Z lady is too SE21? Or we could have a statue of James Nesbitt? Nero

~What about a statue of the woman who invented the A-Z, as she was from round these parts. With it being a landmark of a sort, it would be a rather suitable idea, I think. Nero

The graffit has been there for at least two years. It should be removed and the painting restored asap. Nero

DM, As a journalist I can promise you that the newspapers are supporting this campaign and moving it forward mainly because it is a 'good story'. That means that it shifts newsprint. Which means it makes money. I do not deny that there is an element of sympathy and empathy, but you can bet your bottom dollar that the eds of the Sun, Star, Mirror etc. will be thinking of their sales, subconsciously or consciously. There will be no effort to conceal their desire for a new angle, a scoop, a natty headline when they are discussing this at meetings. They're not dragons or immoralists, but they are tabloid journalists first and foremost when they are at work. Once Big Brother comes along, if "Maddy" isn't found by then, watch their interest wane. Nero

It runs down the hall

Well, Dom, I have experience of female bouncers and I personally find them to be generally more polite and efficient than the males. It is nothing to do with eye candy. I am not at all sexist - women should be able to do what they want, and men likewise. If men and women like to look at bouncers, good for them too. It's only natural to like looking at what one considers attractive. I understand your irony but just wanted to stress my position. To tell the truth, I don't like places that have bouncers, so male and female is irrelevant. Nero

*Screws eyes quizzically, thinking "always thought it was 6pm"* Nero

Whilst shopping on Northcross Road

Hmm. Sean, that line is very familar. Let's start again. Whilst browsing in the new Karavan

Plane high in the sky Emits tracks of silky cloud Stitching inked heavens. Nero