HonaloochieB

When I looked at the title of the thread Morag, I thought it was about how long after the sell-by date you've consumed food. I have form on this one, recent an' all. But I digress. Crosse & Blackwell's London Grill. A tin of beans, with two miniature sausages, bacon, and kidney. Sublime. Cooked, and I do mean cooked, ten minutes low heat minimum, in a saucepan with a lash of Worstershire or a belt of HP. Both if you felt so inclined. A thick slice of the bread of your choice, toasted and on birthdays, high days and holy days a fried egg on top. It was almost the perfect breakfast and I never tired of it, I introduced my son to it and for one of his birthdays (9th I think it was) part of his present was half a dozen tins of the good stuff. Everything was infused with the taste of the other, the kidney a toothsome mid tone. This is no semi-ironic look at what's passed from our nation's larder, it's a genuine lament for a can of the finest scran. Still, never mind, eh.

There's also a good Rough Guide To Conspiracy Theories, concise and points you in the right direction for more information. I bought it in Cheners some time ago, and when I did the 'man' behind the counter tried to charge me 14.99 which was the US dollar price instead of 9.99 the UK pound price. He was very apologetic and charming when I pointed the mistake out. But you never know...do you? WELL DO YOU?

bigbadwolf Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Also, who on earth calls their company 'Gary > electrics'. Gary Numan, and what's more he makes a point of employing his 'friends'.

So on the one hand it's honey and hats, on the other it's cucumber insertion and barbed wire restraint. This one's a no-brainer.

Moos Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Blimey, just caught up with this thread. I'm now > going to have to say I was joking, in case TLS > sues me for libel. > > I'm not a big user of emoticons, I personally > think they make the joke less funny. That's OK Moos, thanks to yours and Ted's involvement I can now negotiate an absolutely enormous salary and all the fringe benefits I fancy. And the brain business, I'm not using most of it all the time anyway hardly, so...oh look a bee.

Ted Max Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The thing about cucumber relish is maintaining the > textural integrity of the cucumber, against the > mush-inducing salt and tang of the vinegar and > onion. I have no idea who or what Bix was, but if > they managed that in a commercial product then I > mourn their passing as I would that of a friend's > beloved aunt that I have never personally met. > > But rethinking this, given this is your brain > we're talking about Hona (85% rock 'n' roll, 15% > "something in the rag trade", 5% Peroni) I'd > recommend something milder. Perhaps a soothing > raita. And Ted this is what Bix's achieved, one would often get a slight 'squeak' on the tooth as the skin from the cucumber rubbed against it. Raita, you reckon? Lovely.

Ted Max Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'm not speaking up for anyone. I'm giving you my > opinion. In my opinion, having read her post, and > noted the lack of emoticons, Moos thinks you are a > sadist with a penchant for human brain fritters. > > (try them with cucumber relish) I found a supply of cucumber relish in a pound shop in Brixton, actually it's gherkin relish by your old favourites Branston. It's not as good as the Bix's cucumber relish which has disappeared from the shelves, it's a little too vinegary, the Bix's stuff had a nice sweetness which offset the saltiness of bacon just right. And now I come along and find it being recommended as a condiment to accompany fried portions of my brain. Stone me, what a carve up. I'm having second thoughts about TLS's offer now. It's going to have to be a very good offer, that's all I can say.

You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) - Sylvester

Sounds OK TLS, what's the pension like? Any meducal insurance?

Mikecg Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Get a room ffs. I've looked at it everywhichway Mike but all I can see is an anagram for 'soft fromage'. Are you a cheese merchant?

All The Way From Memphis - Mott The Hoople

Sue Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Admin gone on holiday?? > > :)) If they have they could do worse than take a copy of Saxondale series 2 with them. Though I can't of course as yet vouch for the extras.

snorky Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- I've still got the extras to watch on series two of Saxondale. Twelveish perhaps? > > smash the capitalist oppressors. after Saxondale > of course. Glad you're with me Snorky, though of course it won't be so much smashing as potentially introducing rust into their shutters. Unless of course they're galvanised, probably by a half-starved minimum-wage 'earning' immigrant capitalist plaything whose lungs will end up looking like lace curtains because of the galvanisation process he's been forced to endure. Mind if he's been working for the likes of capitalist oppressors like Somerfield, maybe he deserves all he gets. Sell out. I'll let you know about the Saxondale extras. Cheers.

dukesdenver Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'm sure they will quail before your mighty > Wingdings. Wingdings DD, great idea. Interesting you used the word 'quail' in your post, it's a little known fact that Roger Daltrey's trout farm was a haven for quail. How many times did he put a loaded shotgun in my hand and tell me to "take lunch from the sky"? Oh, Christ. He looked from the Peroni to the Saxondale series 2 cover and back again and saw he had become one and the same.

Mikecg Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Why do all aliens in Star trec have American > accent's? Just taken a quick poll and we're all convinced it's because they're piss-taking c*nts. 'Bookish' bloke in the corner looked up and said something about 'jeans road and berry', we just noddded and smiled, because he's a c*nt. Does anyone know why everyone in the world is constantly surrounded by c*nts? That'd be worth looking into.

Living Loving Maid - Led Zeppelin

Look a stiff/sarcastic e-mail will be sent by me to their head office tomorrow. In the sternest font I have available. In red.

Whooooa big cold bottles of cold Peroni. I've a bladder full of urine and the desire to commit a minor act of liquid-based criminal damage to the lower left hand corner of their shutters tonight. Who's with me? Depending on who's on Question Time of course. And I've still got the extras to watch on series two of Saxondale. Twelveish perhaps?

It's happened to me on more than one beer promotion and has been corrected by the long-suffering till jockey. I've been advised by the staff member on more than one occasion to complain to the manager. But I never have. I reckon beer's making me apathetic when at source and all full of feist-ivity when at keyboard. I tend to type a good fight.

I'm almost embarrassed at bringing this one up as I'm sure everyone will know it. John Sullivan was commissioned by the no longer in existence Peckham Marketing Board to write 'Only Fools And Horses', in order to promote the place with a view to turning the entire area into a Disney-style theme park. It was going to have chains of Sid's Caffs where all the food had a dusting of fake and of course harmless fag ash over it. Teams of gormless Triggers would be on hand to 'help' the 'Tobies' as all the visitors would be called by giving them the wrong answers to anything they asked. It was said that both Lionel Blair and Rupert Murdoch invested heavily in the project and had got some overseas investors involved. Most were wary of publicity but two were Italian-American businesmen, Sally 'Girls Name' Ciabatta and Tony 'One Ball' Unfortunato. It was the latter pair (Mr Unfortunato, that's no disrespect by the way) that put paid to the whole ambitious plan. A junior clerk. a lowly junior clerk at that was lent a copy of the The Long Good Friday by his mate whose father used to have a drink now and then with a fellow that was on the dust. Stan was it? Albie? Anyway his route took in the Home Office building, and it was one of the porters from there, Jack, don't know his surname but he lived on the Heygate who lent Stan or Albie the video. Of course the lowly clerk, (Jason was it?) watches the film, notices the involvement of Italian-American busineemen in a London dvelopment, confuses the fiction on screen with real life and goes to his bosses. They get all narked and start asking for accounts, which of course wounds the amour propre of Messrs Ciabatta and Unfortunato who depart these shores in high dudgeon. Lionel Blair and Rupert Murdoch departed shortly (I mean no disrespect Mr Blair) after this and the project died a'borning. So what started out as a promotional video ended up as one of the UK's most enduring comedies. Though of course in one the later Xmas specials Del Boy and co get in hot water with a group of Italian-American businessmen. Coincidence I hear you ask. But is it? Answer me, IS IT? Also you'll ocasionally hear some wacko come up with the notion that Iggy Pop was involved in an admin role, but there's no evidence to support this. APPROACH WITH CAUTION! More details below. [email protected]

Welcome Sally, enjoy ED it's a nice, comfy-cosy sort of place. And it's nothing like Royston Vasey, though I'd avoid the alleged 'Quorn' chops at the 'queueing butcher' on Lordship lane.

???? Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Part Of The Union > > (Ford/Hudson) > > Fazz Music > Thanks for reminding of this leaden 'satire' of unions Quids. For thanks read 'Tha-anks' by the way.

All of The Pretenders were/are/will be skagheads.

Full of workmen, is it? Situation normal then.

Maid In Heaven - Be Bop Deluxe