HonaloochieB

Where Do You Go To My Lovely? - Peter Sarstedt

Unbelievably no one's used the word 'lugubrious' yet. I'll miss him, though I've barely known he's been around for a long time. The image of Clement Freud and the dog food ads are with me yet, as I'm of an age when an ad on the only channel that could show them could have a large impact on a small island. I think I remember him on the Danny Baker radio extravagonzo once recountng how he promoted Campari in this country. He used the simple expedient of walking into as many bars as he could and ordering it. On being told by the proprieter he'd never heard of it, he'd express his annoyance and leave the establishment, having given the impression the landlod was missing a trick on this one. And also ensuring that patrons of the bar were aware of the brand. After a suitable time had elapsed a Campari rep would visit each eatablishment and offer cases of the crimson hooch and a UK ladies drink was born. Anyway, I'm sad he's gone. RIP.

Eke out each sentence then BN, I find naming the punctuation marks helps. If that doesn't slow you down enough then start greeting each one. "Oh, comma, been seeing a lot of you lately" "Question Mark, how are you"? "I say -, you're cutting a dash these days. And I see you're hanging out with comma, too. Anything me and Question Mark should know about"? It works for me.

Domitianus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Back on topic - I understand that an item of value > was stolen from the belongings of a member of > staff there. Just goes to show - we may live in a > lovely leafy suburb but there are always rogues > with an eye on the main chance. Keep an eye on > your stuff, even if it is stored where others > aren't meant to stray. Probably a pikey.

Blimey BN, that PGC's a pisstaker and no mistake. They see you walking they'll have your Freedom pass back off you quicker than you can say "around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran" five times. Sit tight BN, hope you have a good book with you, if not look around for someone who looks as though they might have read one and engage them in conversation. Hitting the post message button with a large Perroni and thinking of you. XXX

The Windmills Of Your Mind - Noel Harrison

When My Mind's Gone - Mott The Hoople

catriona Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I feel like adding my post to this, just for the > halibut... ...glad you did Catriona, would've been shellfish not to.

Lonely Boy - Andrew Gold

Welcome Bosky, are you also verdant?

Domitianus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Back on topic - I understand that an item of value > was stolen from the belongings of a member of > staff there. Just goes to show - we may live in a > lovely leafy suburb but there are always rogues > with an eye on the main chance. Keep an eye on > your stuff, even if it is stored where others > aren't meant to stray. Just goes to show if you don't keep your stuff safe some bugger'll have it away in the winkle of an oyster.

Could be right there JL, it's starting to flounder. Maybe it's time to start a piscine-based song game. Shark Dressed Man - ZZTop

Norwegian Wood - The Beatles

And just what the hell is that Sparkes fellow up to in his van? Is he connected to the Sea Cow incident?Aren't his eyes a bit too close together? You know what I mean? You do, don't you?

All's well, TLS admits he saw red but has had time to mullet over. Being the sort of gent he is he roes to the occasion and went back to apologise. And that takes gurnards. Turbot a John Dory short he walked back into the shop coleys a cucumber and in the herring of all present made a fulsome apology. Coincidentally a snapper was present who recorded the event. There followed quite an emotional scene, the good frier described TLS as 'brill' which caused him to blush to his roots and mutter something about not making a huss. Let's all hope sprats an end to the batter.

Mama Told Me Not Come - Three Dog Noght

Look the only clowns anyone has to be scared of are The Insane Clown Posse. Teenage girls whether with larcenous intent or not are always a bit scary.

Captain Void And The Video Jets - Ian Hunter

???? Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I hope they had some decent mussell in there it > cod of got nasty I'm sadenned to say it was our very own Tony London Suburbs involved in this sorry incident. He entered the premises and asked if they had any 'crispy bits' for free, like he used to get in the SE17 area in his youth. The fellow behind the counter told him 'kipper your hair on, if you've no money then get to the bass of the queue. TLS was fuming, he hakes that sort of talk, it bring out the chip on his shoulder. The grouper people waiting were uneasy. Suddenly TLS crabbed the fellow by the trout and snook him for all he was worth. The man thought he was a conger. TLS was only playing though, he was net for reel. The queue had a whip round and TLS left there better off to the tuna fifty quid. However someone from across the road called the old gill and now if they catch up with him it looks like TLS might be charged with a fry.

I hate to disillusion you JB but this is actually a viral marketing campaign for a soon to be released adult entertainment flick. Honestly is nothing sacred?

And you can take them for fish and chips at The Jolly Bee next door.

Mick Mac Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I haven't revealed the names of the two girls > involved as they may have gone on to bigger and > better things, or become dominatrixes, who knows. > > Oh go on HB - Are they on the forum? I wouldn't think so MM, and if they are they're using pseudonyms. Very sensible too, as I'm sure they don't want their role in the scandal that the whole of London is now calling 'Blasphemygate' to be revealed to a wider public. But if they are, then they know that I know. That's all.

If physical chastisement is such a deterrent why would anyone need to do it more that once. My parents weren't big hitters, but my schools beat the crap out of me, or should I say tried, as the crap yhey were trying to dislodge remained firmly in place. How else to explain getting caned three times in one day for essentially the same 'offence' of smoking. Did I change my ways, did I resolve not to smoke on the way to and in school, in a pig's eye I did. Did I hate and resent the bastards who inflicted the violence on me, you betcha. In secondary school, it was common to be smacked around the classroom for relatively minor offences, which were decided at the whim of the teachers, common to be 'caned' with a cricket bat and one old sadist would grab a spare bit of stomach flesh and twist it. It was painful but it was a lazy method of punishment, detention, withdrawal of privileges would have had a far greater effect on me, but that would have required more effort than lashing out. I also think I was caned for blasphemy by Sister Mary Francis in my Catholic primary school. I ended up playing with two girls from my class in the playground and for some reason they had me pinned up against a wall with them leaning on my arms. I remember it gave me a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach and my strugggles to get free weren't as vigourous as they might have been. I was of course in an attitude of crucifixion when Sister M-F turned up. I was told I was wicked though I wasn't given any specifics, dragged to her office and caned. At eight years old my sense of hurt and confusion was great. She was a nun so I must have done something wrong for her to hit me. It was only when I got older I realised the probable reason why I got caned. I haven't revealed the names of the two girls involved as they may have gone on to biger and better things, or become dominatrixes, who knows.

dukesdenver Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > HonaloochieB Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > One puker on our bus when asked by Mr Ayres > > I bet his nickname was 'Pubic'. Sadly no DD, prosaically he was known as 'Mick', Mr O'Halloran was known as 'Turd' though which more that made up for it.

hellosailor Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > also just remembered that one time my twin brother > realised as he took his seat on the coach to go > home that he had a tiny fleck of dog shi* on his > hand and as a reflex act of repulsion wiped it on > the headrest in front of him. There was an > assembly the next day in front of the whole school > where the culprit was told to come forward or > everybody would be punished and when my brother > did the decent thing and came clean, the school > tried to get my mum to foot the bill for the > ENTIRE coach to be re-upholstered. Needless to say > she told them to @#$%& off. > Our mum was quite good on the defending her kids > front - I also remember when me and my brother > were 12 and he was given lines for saying the word > 'fart' in class and mum was so outraged that she > forbade him to write them and instead got him to > write a letter for the teacher explaining that > 'fart' was not offensive... > 'There is a historical anomaly in that fart is > regarded as Anglo-Saxon and has many Germanic > cognates, but the form feortan is hypothetical, > there being no instance prior to Middle English. > The first quotation in the OED is from the > charming thirteenth-century lyric ?Sumer is icumen > in? (?Summer has arrived?). The context runs: > ?bulluc sterteth, bucke verteth,? a line that has > caused some academic embarrassment, since the most > obvious literal interpretation, namely ?the > bullock cavorts; the buck farts,? is regarded as > too crude. Consequently, some scholars have > preferred to interpret verteth as ?to cavort? or > ?to gamble,? even though there is no other > contemporary instance of a verb ?to vert.? > Thanks mum. All depends on context surely HS, did he call the teacher an old fart? Did the use of the word fart get big yocks from the other kids and disrupt the lesson? Did he suddenly burst into Summer Is A Coming In, The Fart Version? How did he get dog shit on his hand? He sounds like thwe sort of kid Terry Scott had in mind when he recorded My Brother.