HonaloochieB

It's OK, I'm about to slide a chicken pie into the oven. It'll absorb the alcohol and I'll be fine. Won't I? Won't??

If you're saying eight, then OK eight it is. But thanks VERY F@UCKING MUCH I can get home by myself. Edited because I was drunk and pissed-up on booze. Like a cunt

Alright then, seven and and a half. But just leave it out, right.

...how DRUNK are you? Right now, I'm seven. Or so I reckon. Seven seems about right.

But hey girls, what you do is take the bitten-off fingernails that HE has chewed off and left beside the bed, you know, next to the alarm clock, that's set to Radio 4, but that you would prefer to be set to Jo Good and Paul Ross really, and then you scrape the dirty filth away with the sharp end. Of his fingernails. And if you give HIM a meaningful look, that means everyting then so much the better.

Ladies, isn't it aggravating when you accumulate filth under a finger nail? Of course it is. Yes it is. You want to have your nails done. I mean DONE properply. As nails should be. But you can't. Because of the filth.

Once Bitten Twice Shy - Ian Hunter

DM I'm just at the point of considering eating something, you know, because maybe medically, apparently, it might absorb some of the alcohol. Mind, isn't that making the philosophical assumption that being drunk and pissed-up on booze is a bad thing? I know what you're thinking DM. How drunk could I be to consider, CONSIDER? highlighting the word BAD in the above sentence. Actually, top up you say? Go on, whatever you're having yourself.

One Of These Days - Pink Floyd

dulwichmum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Oh Hoonaloochieb darling, I didn't understand a > word of that so it is probably true and I am > definitely drunk (hic). I wouldn't have you any other way, DM. PS. Me too. PPS Ain't it great?

Of course Simon, there was an element of chat shows being about either conversation or just the guest talking, and talking, and talking. At least it wasn't about the plugging or promotion of what the guest was touting at the time. Though at times it might have been, but was done so more subtely. Let's lobby the BBC to bring back Face To Face, I'm not sure who should be the interviewer, not yet. But the interviewee should be in the public eye, should be prepared to face intelligent, probing questioning and be someone who is...I was about to make all sorts of qualifications, but no. Maybe if Armando Iannuci was involved, though.

Has she buggery. She's a sort. The semi-posh sort of sort who sorts her home-based workforce that is carrying out the works on her home with regular cups of tea. And if one them has to squeeze past her in the hallway, then there'a column in it for her.

AllforNun Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > the facts are as factual as the cut of the jib of > say a thuggish dog fouler or a giant cat rat! > although the underlying irony in response to the > latest post code discussions on the barry road > thread are bang @#$%& on ! I know AFN, I've been drinking heavily for several hours myself. It's why them bastards call it GOOD Friday, right? Cheers.

Moos Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > A truly immoral man. Me, or that immoral bastard Morgan?

Declan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I say it is. Between TV and Radio I would say I'm > happy to pay my fee. What do you say? > > PS There's a lot of prime time stuff I just can't > watch but mostly it's very good. Can't possibly disagree with you on this one, Bertie. See you at The Drones.

Stop that AFN, who cares about what the postal-code confused bint was wittering about. It's not about location. What shoes was she wearing? Jeans? Was she wearing them? If so were they skinny? OH MY GOD, was she in a twin set and skirt? HOLY CHRIST. Was it a bloke? Did he have winkle-pickers on? Were they white? Come on AFN, the proper facts if you please. Don't make me go and buy Vogue.

I don't know, but did Max Clifford organise a 'Goody' bag at the funeral? Bet he's kicking himself if he didn't.

Oh, you know what, I started off writing a reasonable point about his tenure at the Daily Mirror and the corruption and incompetence involved, and how it seemed odd that he's gone on to fame and fortune. But bollocks to all that, if anyone meets him just keep punching him in the face until your arm gets tired.

Night JohnBoy.

Night MikeCG.

Night Moos.

Aah, of course Moos. Thanks. You put the GEE-DOUBLE-OH-DEE into tomorrow. WORD!

Actually now I think of it Jabba The Hutt might just be a bit more spud-like than even Piers Morgan. Though he's probably a better writer.

What's wrong with Seargo exactly? Fine figure of a man if you ask me.

Sorry about that I ended up having to work late tonight and I'm feeling out of sorts. Just ignore me. I'll be fine. Though if any sorts want to get in touch...