HonaloochieB

Still spitting grass. Why? Ask the pigs, man. We were just the kids being hassled. By the MAN, man. I mean, like man.

Tumbling Down - Cockney Rebel

ruffers Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > HonaloochieB Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > .... ... > > > So, what makes me laugh? Wouldn't you like to > > know. > > > No. Yes you would. Seriously. No really. Take my wife. Please.

*Bob* Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Glossy pages mean it's not even useful for > starting the fire with. And there's no absorbency. Albumen, and it's close relatives just slide off of it. Apperently.

sweetgirl Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The difference between weekends and weekdays is > amazing. I'm sure the weekend revenue allows it to > open at other times > > i think you might be right sean, it did cross my > mind...... ....ah sure Jaysus the weekdays with their differences, the weekends allowing Liquorice to flourish. The variation between them is...well, words fail me, just amazing. Really. And would it not be a very poor look out if it didn't cross someone's mind?

Arive drunk at 12:00 in the EDT. Order a pint of Stella. Cost - ?3:20. When the barperson returns with the Stella and the change, turn into a BIGSHOT and mumble something about the charity box. Insist the ?16:80 is her's to do with what she will. You will of course be deluding yourself about the fact that a woman in her mid 20s might be interested in you. Chat with barperson for almost two minutes. Make mention of the Crystal Castles and cause her to raise an eyebrow. Hear a noise to your left, a slick, skinny-jeaned young chap enters. He has actually attended a Crystal Castles gig and tells barperson all about it. Feel awkward. Very awkward. Search for a newspaper to cover embarrassment. Unable to find newspaper, make do with Daily Express. Drink the Stella. Slink off.

Perkulator Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Mate as in Coitus? I'n hugely impressed you've used an upper case 'c' in 'Coitus'. Most people these days don't give a f@ck about that sort of thing.

Honestly, Snorky next thing you'll be telling us there's some sort of connection between THE GOVERNEEEEMENT and BIG BISEEEEENES. It'll frighten us all to bejasus. It really will.

So MP and Ruffers, those are what made you laugh? They caused an involuntary spasm of mirth, did they? No they didn't. You know they didn't. They couldn't possibly have. Neither of the above is capable of triggering laughter, because they were never intended to. MP, that thing with the circle and Gideon Bible? To LAUGH? What? The same sort of thing presented to me in a pub, I'd be lookng over the shoulder of the so-called LAUGHTER merchant, wondering where the funniness might be. To present the dry scraps above as capable of inspiring laughter, is to attempt to wring more out of them than they ever possessed. So, what makes me laugh? Wouldn't you like to know.

SteveT Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Being misunderstood by the left wing forumista's > who do not experience the same joy > > as me, when some local bad lot gets his > comeuppance. > > I want more of this feeling of elation and deep > gut turning pleasure. > > Hooray, one for the near neighbours and the other > good guys I say, and not before time. SteveT, I think I understand your point on a Friday night with a few (!?) drinks in me. Actually, I was being polite. Not a bastarding clue of what you speak. There's something vaguely Woody Guthrie in your last line. In a good way. Or a Goodie Guthrie way, if I was the sort of person who might 'riff' on his name might say. Syntax permitting. Perhaps yet another tax we're subject to. Just checked the line above - fully in keeping with the spirit of your post. Any way, I have unfettered access to several (more than five) 66cl bottles of Stella Artois. After I've fecked three of them I may be in agreement with you. On the other hand (the one not in charge of the Stella) I may become either left wing or argumentative over nothing substantial. Like you never did, did you? Huh, yeah? Seriously three drinks, I'll let you know.

Walls Come Tumbling Down - The Style Council

Perkulator Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > This simply isnt on, I've gone from Bon3yard to > 'Perkulator'...all I wanted was a new password! > Thanks for the praise Shu but I do indeed sport > Plums. As for wanting to 'go into the kitchen' is > this a euphamysm for some unsavoury sexual > practice? ;-) Not at all Perkulator. Though in fact if you take 'unsavoury' as meaning sweet, then it could be alluding to a sex act. 'Going into the kitchen', involves blancmange, bottom, nose and thumb. The nose and thumb are used to 'cock a snook', the other elements are of course involved but I'm going to have to look them up.

Off The Wall - Michael Jackson

VeryBerryCherry Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Realising EXACTLY where you left your ruksack on > the train... > > And wondering how many little pieces a pair of > Nine West Stilettos can make when blown up by the > bomb squad! On the other hand Heaven is a rucksack that was once owned by an adult being blown up. If you're over twelve a rucksack is ridiculous.

Oh Boy - Buddy Holly

Aaah, I think I get it now, Huguenot. "Red Squirrel Bitch Slaps Grey Into The Middle Of Next Week" "American Uses Word 'W@nker'-A Nation Sniggers" "Freddie Starr, I'm Nearly Over The Self-Loathing" - Exclusive. See pages 3,4.5.7.8,10,11,13&15. "It's All Down To Stilton - Gordon Brown" "15 Men On A Dead Man's Chest" - Deadlock In Rugby Ref Slaying. "Alistair 007 Darling" - Chancellor Goes To Cinema On Slow News Day. "Mandelson Returns To Govt" - Unfortunately Does So In Red V Neck Under Suit - Even Mad Old Fashion Baggage From The Telegraph Unable To Justify 'Look'. "Ken Barlow - Yes I'm A Druid What Of It?" "Jordan - No One Can Put A 'Katie' Price On My Love For Peter Andrews" WIDDECOMBE!-VIRGIN!-EXCLUSIVE!-ONLY IN THE DAILY EXPRESS!

Boy - Ian Hunter

Wigan Pier

AllforNun Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > They are filming an insert for the new bond film. > They need to re-film a scene that was originally > set in one of the failed baltic states, its a > fight scene set in a dilapidated children's > playground. Instead of flying everyone back out > there at great expense they are doing the > re-shoots in the playground in Peckham Rye Park, > the location scouts reckon it has a similar feel > to it. x I can see this being one of the great trivia questions in years to come. As well as that, filum buffs will be trying to spot the joins, and then there'll be James Bond people going to the playground in order to mate.

Anyone else loathe the word 'boob' when applied to a female breast? I'm not going to explain why, because I'm not sure I know absolutely. And I don't want to make a tit of myself. I put it in the same box as 'hubby' 'tummy' 'tot' and 'romp'. All words that make me shudder. And should be put in a box and towed out to sea.

Louisa Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The first is to be turned into an Amsterdam style > dancing girl bar and the latter is going to be a > prestigious sex shop selling prada toys for > girls. > > Louisa. Whatever happened to the first becoming a Wimpy Bar? Whatever happened to the latter becoming a While-U-Wait piercing parlour? Whatever Happened To My Rock 'n' Roll?

HonaloochieB Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Is the collective noun for retards a sfaff? I've just been informed the answer is, well duuuh...

Is it a 'dance hall' squirrel? That can mek the dance ram? Ongul squirrel can. If it is, I think we should be told, might help raise house prices in the current state of Babylon. Tcah!

Huguenot Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Overkill ;-) WHILE LEMMY'S IN THE WORLD - EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT FOREVER

AllforNun Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Yes your right it is the catholic thingy,but how > on earth did i manage to leave my keys in the > butter dish at the back of the fridge though, > goddam alcohol ..... AllForNun, you treated your keys as the valuable items they are and put them where they would be out of the reach of miscreants. Butter dish, though? There's fancy.