Jah Lush

Superb!

A Banker, a school teacher, a Tory MP and a Daily Mail reader are sat around a table. In front of them is a plate, on which there are ten biscuits. The Banker scoffs nine of the biscuits, then the Tory turns to the Daily Mail reader and whispers in his ear. "Watch out, that teacher is after your biscuit."

Well it's about time someone else chipped in with the goals for Le Arse. They'd been looking like a one-man band of late and it did make me wonder where the goals would come from if Van Persie got injured. Face it though, it was only Wigan and unfortunately - for at least they try to play football unlike Stoke City - they look doomed to relegation. Have to say though that Le Arse have struck a rich vein of form in the Premiership since they got beaten by Tottenham Hotspur. :))

Yeah! Give 'em enough rope to hang themselves by.

Unfunny racist crap.

I cannot see how anyone would think she was sober. She'd definitely had a few.

It's funny how West Ham sing about blowing bubbles because like West Ham they fade and die. :))

Good for him McGolden. All of my family on my dad's side were/are Crystal Palace fans and it was the first place I was taken to see a football match - probably to get indoctrinated and become a fellow supporter of the Eagles. They lost 5-1 at home to Wolves. Not good. I was then taken a few times to the Old Den - my dad knew the gateman at the old greyhound stadium behind the ground and you could watch a match from what was called "Jews Hill" from there. I also went a few times to the ground with a mate but I was never impressed and to we'd go to Selhurst Park to watch the Palace, only because they were local. I have also in the past stood in the old Shed end at Chelsea with a couple of old mates who were fans but I'd already long become obsessed with Tottenham Hotspur from the age of about three or four years old when I first set my sights on a certain goalscoring genius that was Jimmy Greaves, who was my boyhood idol playing for England. As soon as I found out he played for Spurs, that was it I was hooked and I was Spurs through and through. A friend of mine and I started travelling up to White Hart Lane together to watch them from the age of ten. We're still going together 43 years later. "Tottenham till I die. I'm Tottenham till I die. I know I am I'm sure I am. I'm Tottenham till I die."

Good King Wenceslas phoned Dominos for a pizza. The salesgirl asked him: "Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?"

Just bought a Jehovah's Witness advent calendar. Every time you open a door someone tells you to fuck off.

I saw my first Christmas tree proudly displayed with flashing lights and decorations in someone's front room three days ago. In November FFS!

*A Cow based Economics Lesson SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

Well I was at White Hart Lane last night and although we mostly had our kids out I was still disappointed with the result. I could say the Europa League is a hindrance to the bread and butter of the Premiership but I want to win every game whether it's the Europa League or Carling Cup. Any competition is worth winning. Too many clubs are more interested in finishing in the first four of the Premiership to get in to the Champions League than actually winning anything because of the money that can be earned for the club. Ask yourselves - would you rather finish 4th in the league or win something? I know what my answer is. Football is about the glory, about winning something. Trophies in the cabinet and winning medals.

Put the bottle down. You're a day early.

Marathon became Snickers Steveo but I like what you did there.

Yeah I was watching it only yesterday. You'd never have twigged he'd do that to himself less than 24 hours later. The mind boggles. Very sad.

Otta Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > City will be pleased with the United result. > Hopefully they'll be up for dropping some points > tomorrow now! And Tottenham too. Breathing down Man United's neck now and still with a game in hand. COYS!

This thread.

Much as it pains me to say so Arsenal are still very much in with a shout - just as long as they can keep Robin Van Persie fit. If he gets injured for any length of time they will struggle to score goals and win matches. At the back - Per Mertesacker, has there ever been a slower centre half?

Indeed! There's a huge difference to someone saying they could win something or will win something. I still think there is room for improvement. I'm not convinced by Adebeyor despite his two goals last night. He missed a hatful too and Pavloychenko is surplus to requirements as well. So a real top notch centre forward would do me nicely thank you.

Errr....Eastenders, Stepney, Plaistow, Canary Wharf, Limehouse, Bow, the Boleyn Ground or Upton Park or whatever the happy Hammers call it. "I'm forever blowing bubbles." Yeah, right you are.

I too enjoyed watching West Ham last season Quids. Knowing full well that it would end in relegation and we'd get Scott Parker.

Arf! I wouldn't go that far Otta.

I don't think he's said that Otta. Certainly not when asked on the radio last night. He was very cautious. I still think it will be between the two Manchester clubs above us at the moment. I think we can have a very good season, though whether we actually win anything is debatable but we're playing some beautiful football and it is a joy to watch.

Ok. Not a problem. If it helps I could start a new one? Thanks for your quick response. Have a good day.