Jah Lush

You should get out more Dez. The Plough has completely changed and is a very pleasant spot. Nice garden too.

FINALLY A MALE DUMB BLONDE JOKE! Three businessmen were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were. The first says: "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought ?300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a freezer big enough to keep it in!" The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent ?20,000 on a new car and she doesn't even know how to drive!" The third, a blond male, nods sagely and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "I have to laugh when I think about it," he chuckles. "Last week my wife left for a holiday in Greece. I watched her packing her bags and she must have taken at least fives boxes of condoms with her. She doesn't even have a penis."

Q: What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a cross country run? A: One is a pant in the country, the other is a...

No it doesn't. It's had a makeover. It's been feminised. No more sport on TV.

I Wish It Would Rain - The Faces

afternoon

Lynne Truss's book is apparently full of mistakes. I haven't read it as it doesn't appeal.

I'd settle for the Clockhouse again and it would be good if we could get the Mezzanine as Moos has suggested and also a good call from Asset about the five book limit. Any time on or after the 15th is good for me.

Reuben back in the area. This can only be good for the Magnolia. Top bloke and a top manager. I'll be back in to say hello soon and have a few slurps and burps.

Running 10k on a Sunday morning? Are you mad? I'd rather eat my own head.

You see. Maybe there is something to it.

Damn! Missed this bolleaux. But for the record I'm an Aquarian and a Fire Rooster and I do occasionally check my daily horoscope in the paps. I even have a Chinese horoscope thingy on Facebook. It's just a bit of harmless fun but I do have a lot of the characteristics of an Aquarian, which means I'm a slightly eccentric, knowledge seeking individual, or something like that. I guess that's for other people to say. For those that are interested the Daily Mash normally gets mine right. YOUR ASTROLOGICAL WEEK AHEAD WITH PSYCHIC BOB Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT) Sit in a hole and do nothing. Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV) Conflicting messages: while the new Moon is a signal to start anew, Mercury's backside asks you to mop up its business. Now wash your hands. Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC) So much of what's happening around you involves mutual back-scratching. Why not ask them for a reach around instead? Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN) Fresh out of ideas on how to meet someone new? That doesn?t surprise me. Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB) You long for a passionate long-term relationship, but don't rule out the value of just using someone for sex. Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR) You radiate a special kind of power that people gravitate towards today. Why not use it for evil? Aries (21 MAR-19 APR) Friends are concerned that lately you've been all work and no play. Prove them wrong by throwing another orgy, but this time make it one they'll never forget! Taurus (April 20-May 20) Explore your emotional side today ? no one else will. Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN) You're feeling the urge to make a big splash at work. Borrow a workmate?s pen to break it in half afterwards to make sure it goes round the bend. Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL) Today you're feeling great about life and it shows. So just stop it you annoying shit. Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG) Instead of a whirlwind romance, a slower courtship could be exactly what you need to redeem your faith in Cupid. Or maybe just a handjob. Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP) Are you sure you don?t want your indecision to hold you back?

And while we're on Lene Lovich. Got to play this live cut. Home

My favourite version of this great song.

I'm not having that. A man can't live without bacon in the morning.

Nothing too taxing please. I'm planning a hangover for tomorrow.

I wasn't born before or after 1970. I was built out of bits of old Meccano and Airfix circa 1958.

Oh Christ! 72 virgins! I'd never get any peace and quiet. I think I'll stick to smoking weed and being a Rastafarian.

Hippy cake day BB. x

I'm thinking of converting to Islam and blowing myself up in the name of Allah just so I can get to those 40 vestal virgins waiting for me up there. Jeez what a reward. I'm going to heaven because I've spent my time in hell.

Brendan on the Is This It thread. This then poses questions about preordination vs freedom of choice. It is what is referred to as a mystery of faith. Monks meditate on them when they?re trying to dispel fantasies of Lindsay Lohan.[

Jeremy Wrote: > Although interestingly... did anyone read about > the experiment taking place in various hospitals, > in an attempt to validate "out of body" > experiences? I had an out of body experience once but I was off my tits on Ketamine at the time. It's not something I would like to repeat on here or out of here. It wasn't very pleasant and I've kept away from that shit ever since.

I believe in death after life.

Everyone should believe in something and I believe I'll have another drink.

Touche MelG. Then again how would either of us know until we have them. I don't have kids but as I've said before on this thread I'd never rule it out.