Jah Lush

I usually say "bollocks," after I've left the house only to return after walking 100 yards down the road and remember I've forgotten something, usually my passes or phone.

Sorry HonaloochieB, we'll have to go with jaybee22 as he/she beat you to it. Remember to F5 next time. Thorn In My Side - Eurythmics

Himself of course. Another string to his bow. The all-singing, dancing and cooking skills of Mistah Jamie Oliver, you're favourite mockney cockney cunt.

Hasn't it just old bean.

Can't understand the moans about this place. It's early days so give it another go. I've found it has really grown on me after just a couple of visits. I'm so bored with the rest of the bars on Lordship Lane and perhaps that is why I have found this place so refreshing.

Walking On The Moon - The Police

And the rest. He's buggered off back to Russia even though he's injured. Pavlyuchenko Joins Up With Russia Squad

This morning I received a phone call from an absolutely gorgeous ex-girlfriend who called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'old magic.' I was flabbergasted. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now," I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have." She just giggled and said she was sure I would 'rise to the challenge.' "Yeah," I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my lack of muscle tone...stuff sagging, my teeth not as white and jowls like a Great Dane! She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.? She teased me, saying that tubby, grey-haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover. Then she giggled, "I've put on quite a bit of weight myself!" So I told her to f*ck off.

Nay nay and thrice nay.

Up The Junction - Squeeze

He has a house nearby, though he spends most of his time in Hollywood these days but when in town often pops into the Dog. He used to come in a lot more when he and Kelly Brook were an item.

Pump Up the Volume - M/A/R/R/S

Yeah! Give me some. Flying Lizards - Money

Pump It Up - Elvis Costello

Knowing a loved one, close friend or family member who hasn't got long to go and watching them slowly die.

The Ship Song - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds

Heart Of The Country - Paul McCartney.

I used to go in there fairly regularly ten years ago and it was very good then but I went in recently a few months back and was very disappointed. It's definitely gone down hill foodwise but the waiting staff are still charming.

House Of Fun - Madness

This Little Bird - Marianne Faithful

Damn! A week before pay day. Now, what with this credit crunch and whatnot I'm having to do some severe belt tightening. In fact my belt is now so tight I can barely breath. I want to go this as I haven't been in what used to be the Ivanhoe in 20 years and it looks very nice in there now, although the previous place wasn't bad, just a bit empty. Anyway, we'll see.

Tut tut..very poor taste indeed VBC. Talking of poor taste though... Two drunks are in a pub. One says to the other 'I've fucked your mother, pushed my cock down her throat then boned her up the arse'. The other drunk says 'I think you've had enough to drink now, Dad'.

Spot on HonaloochieB. I was thinking just the same. We maybe need a Nettie in there somewhere. Over to you Ted Max. I'm hooked.

Who's Micky Flanagan?

It's Ted for me this month. I'm loving the CPT thing he's doing. I'm sure GigGirl will be the next very worthy award winner and Brendan and HonaloochieB never fail to make me smile or laugh on a daily basis.