tiddles

To be honest, leave it for a couple of years!! save the money and the hassle. Have a small special do for her and her special friends. Save your energy for the parties they do remember. I'm not being bitter and twisted, but have a nice, relaxed celebration.

the english garden in peckham rye is just glorious at the moment. Does anyone know what the plant with the tall white flowers is. It has large flat leaves at the base, with very tall stems with masses of tiny flowers - rather like a giant gypsophila?? sorry if a bit of a long shot but they are really quite lovely.

How lovely!! I remember my toddler having a complete meltdown in sainsburys (many years ago) and i was desperately trying to keep calm and take control despite feeling totally out of my depth and on the verge of tears. At the checkout, by which time said child had calmed down, a lovely american lady came up to me and said "I saw you back there, and you know you are doing such a great job - you were so calm and just look at him now, well done". That lady has NO idea how that made my day (well week actually). There's a very good chance she was saying it to every deranged looking woman with a child in tow, but I still mentally thank her for that random act of kindness.

kids tv?? saw a film crew outside the artist's house earlier in the weekj.

top shop voucher gets my vote. Yes loads of stuff far too expensive for a 14 year old, but plenty of perfect t-shirts, accessories, jazzy socks, tights stationery etc etc. I am frequently schlepping round there with my 14 year old, surrounded by other exhausted mothers. I well remember the joy of carrying a top-shop bag (or chelsea girl for you that remember) with my precious purchase of the latest tat in my early teens in the 70's. Yes of course discuss peer pressure but they actually all want to look the same (I remember that too - much to my mother's disgust). Zeban - I understand where you are coming from but when you are actually dealing with the here and now, compromise on both sides kicks in. I have found that my attitudes about child rearing has changed dramatically when different ages/situations have arisen.

no still very slow for me

oh dear i feel your pain!!! Been there got the t-shirt. a thought - sometimes they just want to offload!! We always feel we need to find a solution (quite rightly of oourse) however if whatever you suggest is not helping, sometimes a sympathetic ear, cuddles and lots of "how awful, thats not nice" etc etc just so they know you are taking them seriously. Often a good cry does wonders and they are better able to deal with life the next day. its not easy tho is it??

I am afraid I have found the mobile invaluable in tracking down my eldest!! they often do things on the spur of the moment and that call or text to explain where they are is really reassuring. Also try to get a cheap phone, however I have found that that they phone companies are giving away pretty flash phones on minimal tariffs (?10 a month)so that is why there is so many of them around = I couldn't believe it when all these visiting children had blackberries!! We stuck with PAYG for several years, but switched a a contract as it ended up being seriously more economical.

hmm we were having a discussion about this a few weeks ago with the parents of 16 year olds on this very subject. Apparently alot of the festivals are fine and there are lots of under 18s who go, but I particularly remember them saying that Reading is a bit hard core and perhaps and really not to be recommended. Amusingly some parents had read their child's text regarding this particular festival as a book event (which is how I read your post!!!) might be worth a bit more research! Isn't there one up in suffolk which is meant to be quite good?

our neighbours were recently burgled in friern road = mode of entry was forcing the front bay window sash. If you have this type of window (or any other) might be worth fitting extra locks or making sure the ones you have are as secure as they can be ( shuffles off to check all windows....)

no do not walk home!! we have always make sure we have somehow got our babysitters home - either driving or a cab - it has always been our responsibility. Not unreasonable.

so, if your dog is attacked, stick your hand in? If my dog was set upon i would have no hesitation in wading in and probably getting bitten in the process. the law is bonkers as in the case of the police officers attacked, the neighbours knew there was a problem dog but there seemed no power able to act.

what a dreadful thing to happen - just too awful, and in front of a six year old child. How on earth can an adult be so oblivious to what is going on - and this is the rub, it is the dozy owners, not the dog. In the heat of this, I am afraid I must disagree with you lilly123 with regards to all dogs being muzzled (and some have mentioned on leads in parks). I regularly walk a dog (actually a puppy)in dulwich and peckham. All the dog owners I have come across have been considerate and kind. the few times somebody's dog has been less than friendly they have been hugely apologetic for any bad manners (and this is a grumpy growl not a full blown attack). There is always some plonker who has no idea of how to treat/train an animal or behave in a considerate way to their fellow park users = dog walkers or not. I do feel that perhaps licences should be brought back - at least a way of tracking who has a dog. If you walk your dog, you have to carry your dog licence - signed by your vet (or other approved body) it seems nuts that this dog had attacked before but the powers that be could do nothing. What I feel is that yes there needs to be something done, but please don't punish all the responsible owners and their well behaved dogs.

both of my children had the most amazing time on their year six school trips, however there were a couple of kids who did not want to go and so they were not forced. I think if your children are really anxious then it is not fair to push them - they will go when they are good and ready. However if it is the parents who dont' want to let their children go for whatever reason, then I think that is unfair and they are doing their child a disservice. I should add that if it is due to financial reasons then fair enough - they are getting quite pricey nowadays - altho most schools do have a system for accommodating financial hardship.

oh gosh I am so sorry to hear this = I must have missed this by 10 minutes leaving with my own dog at the gate oppo the boys school. It is so frustrating that some dog owners are so irresponsible with the vast majority kind and considerate. It seems positively daft that the police will not get involved unless people are the victims. I cannot imagine how your poor child is feeling. Will keep eyes peeled and yes, maybe Mark the warden could be alerted to this kind of thing

I am afraid that guilt comes with the package of being a parent!! guilty if you do work (not doing either things properly), guilt if you don't (relying on your partner to provide all the dosh). then there is the guilt of not being good enough at anything - housekeeping cooking, unrelenting cheerfulness and support in everything everyone does, not supervising homework enough - i could go on and on sorry!! only consolation is...... everyone I know feels the same!!

I cannot see how you can move house to a more expensive area (as in most cases, houses near a 'good' school have a serious premium) and lose/give up your job. I cannot work out on what basis the original poster is basing the argument?? sorry if being dim.....

also Elm Green doing very well and I know people who are there (that is in your direction crescent)

hi we went the separate jabs route, however we have been unable to get the final mumps one and the eltham clinic is more! I shall have a look at the link provided to see if I can find a source. thanks

Thank you that is most helpful. I am sure there are lots of parents like myself who are quite happy with the school. When I was looking at secondary schools, I visited lots of schools and based my preferences (notice I do not use the word choice!)on what I felt most comfortable with. There were a couple of 'good' schools that I was not so keen on - so I put them further down my list. I urge others to do the same - go with what feels right. So rather than criticise a school that you don't like, just choose one that you do! When you realise the shortage of co-ed non religious secondary schools in the area, one's perspective might change.

I did kumon for my oldest who was very weak in maths but excelled at everything else. I could see most of the children flourishing, my daughter didn't - and I could see the teacher had met her match. It turned into a battle and a waste of money. I think I can honestly say that we did monday to friday everyday, but left weekends = maybe that is where we went wrong?? Anyway, she is still completely useless at maths but I am beginning to think that there is really nothing we can do - I would rather spend the money on music lessons.

also just want to add that the problem is compounded by the complete inconsistency in admissions - one school does the scholarships and lottery, another does siblings and distance, then of course there is the religious aspect. It is stunningly unfair and actually the more one looks at it, it is astonishing that any education authority (southwark plus all the other boroughs) can preside over such nonsense. The push for more academies doing their own thing gives me the shivers (thank goodness lord harris isn't a creationist) but these schools encouraged to do their own thing with no overall governing body is just plain wrong. Unless, of course, you are lucky enough to be able to buy your way out of this mess.....(and I don't blame you if you do just jealous most of us can't) finished now.....

I am surprised at the number of people who thought they were pretty much home and dry until this change of ruling - every year the admissions change due to numbers of children and siblings (there are some unbelievable cases in the dkh area of kids 2 mins away from their nearest primary school not getting in). It is absolute hell and my sympathies to you all, however the wanley road ruling has made a school accesible to children who live very close but were previously ruled out from their nearest secondary school (altho this route is used by most charter/jags/alleyns kids). There are alot of parents who want a non religious co=ed school that is the problem. I didn't want either of mine to go to a single sex and so quite understand why there is the scramble for charter and kingsdale. I like the idea of the old hosp site being used for new secondary school altho of course that area is already served by charter = could they specify the particular areas that each school would serve?? ie all those people at the top of LL or the bellenden "black hole of secondary education". That way, your children would be moving up to secondary school with all their peers and neighbours - what a lovely idea and one of the reasons that at least half a dozen families (that I know of) from East Dulwich moved to Lewes for.

not wildly romantic, but be nice to each other!! a smile, a laugh and a bit of consideration is so much nicer than a growl and a sulk. Also, don't begrudge each other your nights out with the old mates - hangovers included!! best of luck and have fun

fazer71 the thing is, you won't get your guaranteed parking. look at the streets involved - lots of divided houses into two properties + 2 cars. you are just going to have to fork out ?100 and upwards to chase your neighbours for the limited parking. (all the white lines and extended yellow lines will mean fewer spaces) and quids in for all the traffic wardens who will be patrolling your streets looking for minor parking infringements, plus of course those extra ?? for any chaps who come to work at your place...... the CPZ will ripple thro ED and limit general shopping parking til the only shops left on our high street are the chains who can subsidise the higher rents and drop in impulse shopping (oh damn, cannot find a space, no change for the machine - stuff it I will go to bromley) - have you visited northcote road??? well just imagine that could all be yours...... oh goody and **** you to all the independent traders who have been here for years before the 'gentrification'. Altho James seems to think he is some champion of long time residents - I have 18 years under my belt so I think I am entitled, under his terms, to have my say! rant over.....