She's establishing a new routine, as you have described above, so you need to knock it on the head. I would cut out the daytime nap and set up very strict routine. When she says no, just continue. Don't engage in discussion/ argument. When she gets out of bed, tell her - It's bedtime now and put her back. Next time, just put her back and don't speak. And keep putting her back every time she gets out. Your reaction is her reward....she's getting more time with you and getting to stay up later. Does she really need a bottle before bed? If she has her dinner and a drink she shouldn't be hungry, so water should do. Perhaps it's a comfort thing? Persevere, but keep to your routine.