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Odyssey

By Odyssey
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giggirl

giggirl

Posted
Posted

No Tog - I didn't post to provoke. I'm a slow burner and, like I said, something is genuinely not sitting comfortably with me. Here are a few ponderings I would ask you to consider.


If you are a woman with a large chest, men will stare at it regardless of what you wear. If you're a man, or a woman with smaller equipment, you're not really going to get that - we'd need to do one of those "Freaky Friday" films where you had big la las for a while - then you'd see what I mean.


I've had a big bust since I was a teenager, so I'm used to it. Thankfully I've recently dropped a few sizes so at the moment it's merely "big", whereas it has previously been "visible from space".


So I've had men staring me in the chest for many years now. However I'm dressed. For most of my life I've felt really uncomfortable with that. Sometimes, to make a point, I'd crouch down to get my eyes at the level of the man's eyes. That's a bit mean though.


It's other women (mostly) who are prone to saying "if you've got it, flaunt it". I hate that saying. Fuck that. What does it even mean? I don't want to flaunt it. Quite simply; it's my body and I want to enjoy it and I want to feel comfortable being in it.


One of the great things about getting older is that these days I'm really confident and comfortable in my skin. So if I meet any of you forum guys and you want to have a good old stare then knock yourselves out. I'm so not bothered. If it makes you happy, go for it. I'm pleased you're happy. Do I feel intimidated by this - not any more. Do I feel empowered by this - no. It is what it is.


Except that, I've picked up a bit of an insinuation from this thread, that men staring at my chest is somehow my fault. And you know what boys; that's bollocks. Whilst I'm quite prepared to overlook this male predilection; I'm not at all prepared to take responsibility for it. You got that - if your eyes drift south whilst you're engaging with me that's OK - but don't make it my fault.


I've finished making my point but here are a few wardrobe issues about dressing a large chest which you might find enlightening.


I'm quoting Applesider from the very top of the thread because s/he is spot on and hits the nail on the head. This is how you correctly dress big boobies.


Basically, if you wear a high necked top (turtle/polo or even a classic T), then, if you've got boobs, they will be massively accentuated since there's just a big wall of chest with nothing to break it up - all you see is the outer curve of the boobs. If you wear a scoop/V-neck, the expanse is broken up and it makes big boobs look more 'average'.


OK, you got that - small boobies = high necked top and big boobies = v necked top. So a v neck is going to give some cleavage, yes. That's still OK, yes? Oh dear - unfortunately, here's where it all goes tragically wrong for so many women - they are simply wearing the wrong sized bra. They follow all the right advice to disguise big bangers and they fall at the last hurdle (wrong bra), so they look like their chest is trying to climb out of their top. It's not a good look, it's car-crash couture, and I see it all the time. It's crossed my mind whether the women described by Odyessy might fall into this category. I asked him to paint me a picture but he wouldn't - so I don't know. Anyway, here's what you do ladies, you get your bras properly fitted. Go to Bravissimo.


Another problem with big la las is that they give you more wardrobe malfunctions than smaller ones. Even with a good bra. So you need to be ever vigilant of the little beggars trying to escape.


Obviously I haven't confined my comments to "dressing in the workplace" but I would finish by saying that I think I dress appropriately for my work. I sit with a gay man and he's adorable and always looks me right in the eyes. Outside of work I dress as I see fit, whether it's jeans and a (v necked) T or whether it's full on bangers-out glamour. I don't dress for men or for other women; I dress for myself. I suspect that most women do.

Jah Lush

Jah Lush

Posted
Posted
I've only just discovered this thread and after sifting through the usual smut from the usual suspects I was just going to say that if a lady has them on display then a man's going to look but then I've just read GiGi's last post and boy oh boy, the lady has hit the nail right on the head yet again. Well done Giggirl. x
Narnia

Narnia

Posted
Posted

'I dress for myself' is a statement that I find hard to get my head around. If was was to stay at home for a day on my own, I might not bother showering, I might not shave and I certainly would not be bothered what I wore. I went to a new job on Monday fully suited to find that the dress code there is casual so next day it was jeans for me. I had dressed to 'impress' but as that obviously wasn't required I dressed accordingly the following day. I did at least iron my shirt though but dropped the tie.


Surely as much as we wear clothes that we like when in public it is still how we want to be perceived that dictates what we wear. If that counts as dressing for oneself then fine, but I can't help thinking that it is also for others.

Applespider

Applespider

Posted
Posted

giggirl Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I've had a big bust since I was a teenager, so I'm

> used to it. Thankfully I've recently dropped a

> few sizes so at the moment it's merely "big",

> whereas it has previously been "visible from

> space".


giggirl - great post and this bit really made me chuckle since it feels so true to me too! (about my boobage - not yours!)


And entirely second the 'get properly fitted' message. There are so many women wandering around with back sizes that are too big and cup sizes that are too small. M&S measuring was appalling last I tried it - they tried to put me in a 38 and then a 36 back with too small a cup size. Malfunctions ahoy - and that was just in the changing room! Bravissimo/John Lewis have me in a 32!


And yes, Narnia, while there will also be some element of meeting society's dress codes - from smart/casual at work to not wearing a ballgown to EDF drinks - the most important thing is that you are comfortable in what you are wearing and have dressed for yourself in that regard.

tog_in_sox

tog_in_sox

Posted
Posted

Hey GG, smashing post.


I'm curious, so far all this mention of high neck vis-a-vis scooped or v-neck hasn't mentioned patterned, textured or adorned fabrics. Don't these all help with the whole wall of chest thing? I was just getting the sense that everyone was talking block colours and cotton.


I certainly wouldn't attribute fault as a consequence of the reactions of others, it is as you say a matter of acknowledging the effect one's appearance has on others.

Jeremy

Jeremy

Posted
Posted

Narnia Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> 'I dress for myself' is a statement that I find hard to get my head around.


I think it's about feeling confident... some people feel confident and good about themselves if they're well dressed. You're not necessarily trying to impress people.

Brendan

Brendan

Posted
Posted

You may not be able to get your head around it but that doesn?t mean that other people don?t dress entirely for their own pleasure rather than what it says others. The way I dress is all for me. I would be lying if I said it wasn?t influenced by my past, my peer group, the media etc but I certainly don?t give a second thought to what it makes others think of me (except admittedly at work when it?s all part of the game).


As an aside and not directed at you Declan, the amount of times over my life that I?ve hear scorn for people who dress differently just makes me want to scream in frustration. The qualification always being that the person is seeking attention or some other shit like that. And always coming from some narrow minded conformist who just doesn?t fuking get it.

tog_in_sox

tog_in_sox

Posted
Posted

Sadly, not much opportunity for that kind of encounter given today's commercial retreat behind "Customer Service" phone lines.

Besides, given the equalisation of opportunity I'd more likely be confronted by a clueless, pretty boy straight from a Kouros advert. Adding further to my cause for complaint.



Jeremy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Narnia Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > 'I dress for myself' is a statement that I find

> hard to get my head around.

>

> I think it's about feeling confident... some

> people feel confident and good about themselves if

> they're well dressed. You're not necessarily

> trying to impress people.

DJKillaQueen

DJKillaQueen

Posted
Posted

Lost Yorkshire Man Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> .


Very funny cartoon.....but breasts like that in a top like that wouldn't stay in for a second so I wonder if that's what some guys think they see as opposed to what is actually there? lol

Narnia

Narnia

Posted
Posted


But my point is Brendan that there would hardly be a pleasure in dressing the way one likes if there were not some people to admire it or indeed to dislike it. Obviously we have different tastes in what we like but you wouldn't dress up to stay at home on your own would you?


If you were on your own in the world you'd probably walk around in the nip if it was warm enough.

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