East Dulwich Underworld (massage parlours)

[MrBen]

In a bid to avoid another thread on the same old stuff I wonder if I may venture this mildly controversial topic for discussion. My apologies to anyone if they are offended in anyway. I pass no judgement here either!

But it goes like this....

Look into the window of any local newsagent and next to the adverts for yoga and cat sitters you'll often see a brightly coloured cards with something like "Mature buxom African massage, East Dulwich". With an 8299 number. I cant help but be amused that next to these innocent homely messages there is complete and utter filth. It is a sure sign that the oldest profession in the world never dies. Even in up and coming ED. Fantastic!

Joking about it to someone who's been here for years I was told that there are a number of very discretely run massage parlours in the neighbourhood. And when I get bored on my way home I have had great fun trying to guess where they are (without calling them up of course).

Imagine....just above Foxtons there could be a large mature African lady in a rubber dress......waiting by the phone.

:-)

[snorky]

Of course there are.

The Plod are very well "aware" of it - if you get my meaning

I dare not say any more, lest I cast any doubt the moral standing of our local filth - but the close proximity of parlour and cop shop is a benefit more than a risk let us say.

[MrBen]

Excellent Snorky! Any more?

[LostThePlot]

Next EDF Forum Drinks location perhaps.....?

[snorky]

Most are chinese staffed nowadays, but may list themselves are Korean/Japanese/Thai etc - these people are slaves effectively - bad business

there are a handful of discreet long established parlours left, but not as many as once was, with gentrification and suchlike.

The patrons of Franklins were until recently , able to spend long dreamy sumemr days. sittng outside watching the to and froing of a relatively famous local establishment

[EDOldie]

There was a rumour that there was a brothel at Dulwich Plough years ago. Just where the blue plague for Enid Blighton is (bizzarely enough). Anyway, the story goes that one evening a chap popped in for a bit of 'how's your father' and tied his dog up outside. The dog got a bit distressed and the police were called, started knocking on doors and discovered said brothel! Needless to say, I had to get rid of the dog.

[LostThePlot]

EDOldie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Anyway, the story goes that one evening a chap

> popped in for a bit of 'how's your father' and

> tied his dog up outside. The dog got a bit

> distressed and the police were called

Why, was it the dog's turn?

[fractionater]

some offer 'O' level and 'A' level services too!... I thought it was GCSE's these days??

[Domitianus]

A friend of mine went on business to China and asked his hotel reception to arrange a massage for him in his room. He genuinely wanted a straightforward massage to help him relax after a long flight. Said masseuse came to his room and proceeded to try to pull his boxer shorts off and grab his bits! He sent her packing!

The following day he told his Chinese hosts what had happened and asked them to find him a genuine, therapeutic massage. They did so and, to his amusement, he discovered that the clinic was situated in a building that had once been a brothel!!!

What a topsy-turvy world we live in, eh?

[Narnia]

'there is complete and utter filth'

Bit judgemental are you not considering you state you are not passing judgement? What are you doing then?

[tiddles]

yes there was one in upland road not long ago... they have since done a runner

[nancysmum]

EDOldie - you talk of the blue plague... is this linked to blue tongue? are cows being exploited?

EDOldie Wrote:

Just where the blue

> plague for Enid Blighton is (bizzarely enough).

> Anyway, the story goes that one evening a chap

> popped in for a bit of 'how's your father' and

> tied his dog up outside. The dog got a bit

> distressed and the police were called, started

> knocking on doors and discovered said brothel!

> Needless to say, I had to get rid of the dog.

[EDOldie]

nancysmum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> EDOldie - you talk of the blue plague... is this

> linked to blue tongue? are cows being exploited?

> EDOldie Wrote:

> Just where the blue

> > plague for Enid Blighton is (bizzarely enough).

> > Anyway, the story goes that one evening a chap

> > popped in for a bit of 'how's your father' and

> > tied his dog up outside. The dog got a bit

> > distressed and the police were called, started

> > knocking on doors and discovered said brothel!

> > Needless to say, I had to get rid of the dog.

Sorry Nancysmum I can't smell very well. I'm dislexic, er, dyslexic, er, lazy um yes thats it

[MrBen]

Declan Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> 'there is complete and utter filth'

>

> Bit judgemental are you not considering you state

> you are not passing judgement? What are you doing

> then?

Sorry I should have added an exclamation mark to indicate I was joking. And one mans filth is another mans pleasure.

Don't ever take MrBen too seriously!

[Narnia]

Apart from missing an exclamation mark..........are you also missing an 'a' in your name?

[Michael Palaeologus]

Well come on then!

Addresses? Phone numbers? Services provided?

Looking for a venue for the next EDF social ;-)

[MrBen]

-- moved topic --

[PeckhamRose]

I also believe there is a fully stocked dungeon run by a wonderful Dominatrix in Nunhead. Wish I knew where it was as I need to earn some money for a 2 month trip next year. Hey, there is a thread on here about noise from churches. If the noise from dungeons and the like is not bothering us, and everything is consensual, what's the problem? :) School fees are horrendous apparently.

[Michael Palaeologus]

That would be Dulwichmum.

[Thequietone]

Property is expensive as is dungeon materials.

Why not combine the two and have a punter crucified every Sunday ?

If nothing else it would get the "churches" on Peckham's Rye Lane in the national press.

Paul

[luddite]

there used also to to be some wild shenanigans above the old yilmaz kebab restaurant and evil drug taking .now the very repsectable yilmaz i may add yes plenty of plods up there and they used to sell alcohol all night but then i believe thats still the case in many another shop inlordship lane

[fish]

luddite Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> there used also to to be some wild shenanigans

> above the old yilmaz kebab restaurant and evil

> drug taking .now the very repsectable yilmaz i may

> add yes plenty of plods up there and they used to

> sell alcohol all night but then i believe thats

> still the case in many another shop inlordship

> lane

What is it with the kebab houses of Lordship Lane?

[Jimbo]

A friend of ours has recently relocated within ED and has now found out that there is a massage parlour operating in the next door basement flat.....

Its all very strange and rather amusing....

Snorky, if you turn up to the next EDF drinks I will give you the details of the location, you were right about it being in view of a local boozer!!!!

[snorky]

lalalaa

[snorky]

there is a v. glam top drawer lady working in the ED area at the minute/ for some time.

V. glam I reiterate - I wont reveal the site for reasons of modesty, but very impressive!

Snorky knows about these things as part of his resaerch for a book hes co writing, but does not partcipate.