Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Did anyone else have the pleasure of being on a Southern train from London Bridge this evening - with the comedy announcements?


"We do this because we care". "A restaurant car is not available on this service". All delivered in a perfectly posh accent that rivals the Queen for proper English. "Peck-ham Rye". Brilliant. It really cheered me up.


I assume this is for Children in Need or something. But I do wish it would become a permanent feature.

Heard a few classics previously:


On the tube once "Welcome aboard. We'll be travlling at a height of approximately three and a half feet at a speed of 32 miles per hour, expected arrival at destination is 3 minutes..".


On train once in North London: "this train has departed late due to complete incompetence of managers and NOT driver lateness as advised when you were waiting on the platform".

  • 1 year later...

I once had a tube driver the weekend before xmas, who gave a commentary of the best shops and attractions near each station.


And a rather poetic platform announcer at Canary Wharf. "When you feel the wind blowing, the train is approaching. Do you feel the wind?"

Might well be the same driver who, whilst I was on the train about 6 months back, gave a rather drab "Ladies and gentleman we'll soon be arriving at London Bridge..." - then repeated the message in pitch perfect French.


Don't get the service regularly enough to hear this guy - he sounds brilliant.

  • 8 months later...

Slightly off topic but after a particularly heavy landing on a Virgin flight last year a camp air attendant came on the address system saying "On behalf of Captain Crash and the crew we'd like to welcome you to London's Heathrow Airport, we'll soon be asking you to leave the smoking wreckage of the aircraft but until then remain in your seat with your seatbelt on".


I was also stopped for speeding on the M40 nr Oxford at 1 am years ago and the Policeman lean't in the window and said 'Good evening wing commander, having trouble taking off are we", not funny at the time.


I hope to hear the Southern train guy at some point.

On an American Airlines flight, the attendant said, "In the event of the plane losing pressure, masks will drop down. Please put on your own mask before those of your children. There are two masks for children. If you have three children, please decide which you prefer."

I was on a plane once where the air hostess said over the tannoy that 'There is no smoking allowed, there are sensors on the plane and in the toilet so if anyone is caught they will be immediately ejected from the plane'. She also said once we had landed to 'please keep our seatbelts on until we come to a stnadstill at the terminal as although the pilot is good at flying, he is not so good at driving'


ho ho ho

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • We’ve got a gap on the roof of our shed that needs patching  don’t want to buy a huge roll so hoping someone has some leftover  happy to collect/reimburse 
    • I never said I thought it was targeted or deliberate. There also has never been a “stand off” or confrontation, we’ve spoken to them in a friendly manner about it. Our experience is they don’t seem to care. That’s the frustrating thing for us, if someone politely raises a concern at least take a second to reflect. Treat others how you would want to be treated.  I don’t want them to lose their job, far from it. But considering it could cost me a days work to fix any damage, I’m within my right to try prevent it.   
    • The SE22 Evri delivery family are lovely, and always say hello wherever we spot them in the area. We gave them a box of chocolates during Covid as they were working their socks off at Christmas
    • What was he doing on the stage at Glastonbury? Or on the stage at the other concert in Finsbury Park? Grinning like a Cheshire cat whilst pissed and stoned 20 somethings on the promise of free internet sung-- Oh Jeremy Corbyn---  What were his policies for Northern mining towns with no jobs or infrastructure? Free Internet and university places for youngsters. What were his other manifesto pledges? Why all the ambiguity over Brexit?  I didn't like Thatcher, Blair or May or Tony but I respected them as politicians because they stood by what they believed in. I respect all politicians across the board that stick to their principles. Corbyn didn't and its why he got  annihilated at the polls. A socialist, anti imperialist and anti capitalist that said he voted for an imperialist and pro capitalist cabal. He refused to say how he'd vote over and over again until the last knockings. He did so to appease the Islington elite and middle class students he was courting. The same people that were screaming that Brexit was racist. At the same time the EU were holding black and Asian immigrants in refugee camps overseas but not a word on that! Corbyn created and courted a student union protest movement that screamed at and shouted down anyone not on the left . They claimed Starmer and the centre right of labour were tories. He didn't get elected  because he, his movement and policies were unelectable, twice. He turned out not to have the convictions of his politics and died on his own sword.    Reform won't win an election. All the idiots that voted for them to keep out Labour actually enabled Labour. They'll be back voting tory next time.    Farage wouldn't be able to make his millions if he was in power. He's a very devious shyster but I very much doubt he'd actually want the responsibility that governance requires.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...