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Did anyone else have the pleasure of being on a Southern train from London Bridge this evening - with the comedy announcements?


"We do this because we care". "A restaurant car is not available on this service". All delivered in a perfectly posh accent that rivals the Queen for proper English. "Peck-ham Rye". Brilliant. It really cheered me up.


I assume this is for Children in Need or something. But I do wish it would become a permanent feature.

Heard a few classics previously:


On the tube once "Welcome aboard. We'll be travlling at a height of approximately three and a half feet at a speed of 32 miles per hour, expected arrival at destination is 3 minutes..".


On train once in North London: "this train has departed late due to complete incompetence of managers and NOT driver lateness as advised when you were waiting on the platform".

  • 1 year later...

I once had a tube driver the weekend before xmas, who gave a commentary of the best shops and attractions near each station.


And a rather poetic platform announcer at Canary Wharf. "When you feel the wind blowing, the train is approaching. Do you feel the wind?"

Might well be the same driver who, whilst I was on the train about 6 months back, gave a rather drab "Ladies and gentleman we'll soon be arriving at London Bridge..." - then repeated the message in pitch perfect French.


Don't get the service regularly enough to hear this guy - he sounds brilliant.

  • 8 months later...

Slightly off topic but after a particularly heavy landing on a Virgin flight last year a camp air attendant came on the address system saying "On behalf of Captain Crash and the crew we'd like to welcome you to London's Heathrow Airport, we'll soon be asking you to leave the smoking wreckage of the aircraft but until then remain in your seat with your seatbelt on".


I was also stopped for speeding on the M40 nr Oxford at 1 am years ago and the Policeman lean't in the window and said 'Good evening wing commander, having trouble taking off are we", not funny at the time.


I hope to hear the Southern train guy at some point.

On an American Airlines flight, the attendant said, "In the event of the plane losing pressure, masks will drop down. Please put on your own mask before those of your children. There are two masks for children. If you have three children, please decide which you prefer."

I was on a plane once where the air hostess said over the tannoy that 'There is no smoking allowed, there are sensors on the plane and in the toilet so if anyone is caught they will be immediately ejected from the plane'. She also said once we had landed to 'please keep our seatbelts on until we come to a stnadstill at the terminal as although the pilot is good at flying, he is not so good at driving'


ho ho ho

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