Comedy train announcements today

[maxtedc]

Did anyone else have the pleasure of being on a Southern train from London Bridge this evening - with the comedy announcements?

"We do this because we care". "A restaurant car is not available on this service". All delivered in a perfectly posh accent that rivals the Queen for proper English. "Peck-ham Rye". Brilliant. It really cheered me up.

I assume this is for Children in Need or something. But I do wish it would become a permanent feature.

[Bellend]

I've had that driver before. Cracked me up

[catma]

He's hilarious - I've heard him and the carriage was in stitches!!

[Barnesfan]

I love it when he's on my train! Don't think it's anything to do with Chldren in Need though. Have come across him a few times over the last few months. Makes my day every time...

[KidKruger]

Heard a few classics previously:

On the tube once "Welcome aboard. We'll be travlling at a height of approximately three and a half feet at a speed of 32 miles per hour, expected arrival at destination is 3 minutes..".

On train once in North London: "this train has departed late due to complete incompetence of managers and NOT driver lateness as advised when you were waiting on the platform".

[Medley]

I was at a conference a few months ago where the announcer endeared herself to everyone by introducing herself as "The bing bong lady".

[Paulo]

A recording of the driver was played on the Adam and Joe show on 6music earlier in the year. He told passengers alighting at Peckham Rye to "take care.....love you!"

[Serena2012]

This driver was on our train home to E.D. this evening. His commentary was utterly priceless - made my night!

[Stevelock]

He is totally brill! Theres also a chap at victoria at peak times with the tannoy that does some hilarious jamaican quips such as ?dont worry, everythings nice and curry?

[Jeremy]

I once had a tube driver the weekend before xmas, who gave a commentary of the best shops and attractions near each station.

And a rather poetic platform announcer at Canary Wharf. "When you feel the wind blowing, the train is approaching. Do you feel the wind?"

[Con]

"Souther - Making travel better. That's not a slogan - it's a promise!"

[robreder]

Might well be the same driver who, whilst I was on the train about 6 months back, gave a rather drab "Ladies and gentleman we'll soon be arriving at London Bridge..." - then repeated the message in pitch perfect French.

Don't get the service regularly enough to hear this guy - he sounds brilliant.

[Lynne]

I've heard him too. Once I'd got over the fear that he was off his head and might try to charge through the buffers, it was great fun

Lynne

[R1ch]

Heard his dulcet tones on my train home to Sutton this eve! He is brilliant! "The next stop on this evening's service will be Bal-ham, the gateway to the south"

[NewWave]

Yes, I've had him on my way in to work, really cheered me up, Got the french announcement from him too.

He's a star!

[NickT]

Slightly off topic but after a particularly heavy landing on a Virgin flight last year a camp air attendant came on the address system saying "On behalf of Captain Crash and the crew we'd like to welcome you to London's Heathrow Airport, we'll soon be asking you to leave the smoking wreckage of the aircraft but until then remain in your seat with your seatbelt on".

I was also stopped for speeding on the M40 nr Oxford at 1 am years ago and the Policeman lean't in the window and said 'Good evening wing commander, having trouble taking off are we", not funny at the time.

I hope to hear the Southern train guy at some point.

[MissB6]

I've had this driver on my train too. He's great. There must have been at least 4-5 passengers who went up to the driver's cabin on arrival and thanked him. It's the small things that make a difference!

[fernado]

"For your discomfort and inconvenience we have turned off the escaltors"

[PN33]

This guy?

He was interviewed on Adam and Joe's 6 music radio show a few years ago, he's brilliant!

[steveo]

On an American Airlines flight, the attendant said, "In the event of the plane losing pressure, masks will drop down. Please put on your own mask before those of your children. There are two masks for children. If you have three children, please decide which you prefer."

[sheilarose]

[MissDumpling]

Love this thread! More please...

[Me'mate'Dave]

I was on a plane once where the air hostess said over the tannoy that 'There is no smoking allowed, there are sensors on the plane and in the toilet so if anyone is caught they will be immediately ejected from the plane'. She also said once we had landed to 'please keep our seatbelts on until we come to a stnadstill at the terminal as although the pilot is good at flying, he is not so good at driving'

ho ho ho

[oimissus]

I've had the 'take care . . .love you!' driver before, brilliant. Also, a tube driver who prefaced his announcements with a 'bing bong!'.

[oimissus]

my auntie once got asked by a policeman if she was sure she'd been stopped for speeding as she was driving a Skoda. She was Not Amused, and told him so in her best Kelvinsaide [ludicrously posh Glasgow, for the uninitiated] eccent.