Jump to content

Strange man caught doing a number two on our front doorstep this morning


Recommended Posts

Hi all

I am new to this forum - just signed up today!


Really just wanted to post a warning about a strange man I found doing a poo outside our front door this morning. He apologised for being 'caught short' when I opened the door and then he scarpered pretty sharpish... leaving a trail of soiled newspaper for us to pick up after him though! My poor boyfriend has been disinfecting the whole area this morning.... so revolting!


He wasn't aggressive or anything and hopefully he won't be 'caught short' again but thought I'd mention it as someone else we know in East Dulwich thinks it may have happened to them before too.

Hey welcome,

I think youve come to the very place the culprit is. Also we may not have heard the last of this odd practice.

http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?5,159481


You may find a few suspects in the above link.:)

That's pretty foul - are you on a street near a pub? And what time in the morning was it? I have a comical mental image of a be-suited commuter putting down his laptop bag to squat in your doorway... sorry, that's horrible, hope the mess and smell went away easily!


: P

The 'Greater slack arsed git' is an animal marking his territory, I saw something akin to this on one of those Attenborough programmes.


Apparently there is a tendency for this creature to behave in this manner at this time of year when the weather is so mild, the frequency diminishes on cold wintery mornings.


The receiver's of the unrequested deposits are all looking forward to chilly winds from the north to greatly reduce, or possibly remove any further unwanted outbreaks of this odious behaviour.

Ladies and gents can we drop the toilet humour please - I think this poor chap may well have been affected by this mysterious ED stomach bug that has been doing the rounds, perhaps we should randomly put loo rolls outside our front gates to help aid the aflicted in these dark times.


Louisa.

Sorry about that Ms Smalls.I never realised that you were about to be a fellow contributor on here.I had a long journey back to The Suburbs and the Public Toilet facilities are somewhat lacking in East Dulwich so whats a geezer to do?(6)

Sorry to inconvenience you,it won't happen again.

A Thousand Apologies..

Thanks everyone! I am finding this all much more amusing today and feeel much less traumatised from my run-in with the doorstep pooper.


The funniest thing was having to close my front door again while he finished! It was either that or step over him... no thanks!


Anyway, the shop across the road caught him on their CCTV - he was in there minutes before trying to buy booze but they refused to serve him so early in the morning (the bowel movement took place around 7.50-8.00am)

Just wondered if you were anywhere near the Goose Green end of East Dulwich. I saw a man hunkered down producing a turd on the grassy area by the mural, flanking the playground. It was so odd and so public, that I just averted my eyes and carried on. I'd forgotten all about it until this latest tale of the turd.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Gone to the better hunting grounds during this local ongoing dry spell.
    • The Dreamliner has an impeccable service history, you are more likely to get mugged on the way to the airport than having any issue with your flight, that's how safe it is!  Have a great trip.
    • Maybe. Does that kill grass? If so, possibly the same dog that has left its poo outside my house - pretty sure it's not fox poo.
    • Here you are, intexasatthemoment (you seem to have been in Texas for a very long time!) We went to three of the recommended places yesterday,  as they were all in the same road (just near Wallington)  and I needed to give the car a run to avoid another slap on the wrist from my garage (and another new battery). Here's my findings. BARNES Parking We thought we would go here first as it was the earliest to close on a Sunday (3pm). There was no apparent entrance or anywhere to park. One notice said do not park on grass verge, and another one said staff cars only! Flittons was opposite but I'd already passed the entrance, so I had to drive down the road, turn round at the next available place (covered in signs saying do not park here) and park in Flittons car park! Plants Barnes  specialise in hardy perennials, so that was basically what they had, but an excellent selection, and many more unusual plants (or at least, plants you probably wouldn't find in a garden centre), eg Corydalis,  lots of different varieties of Epimediums, Trollius, some lovely Phygelius, lots of different ferns). The plants were divided into sections according to whether they needed sun or shade or could cope with both. They had a particularly good selection of  shade loving plants. There was really useful information above  each group of plants, which meant you didn't have to look at individual labels. All the plants looked in good health and  very well cared for. They don't produce a printed catalogue, but they  said their plant list was online (I haven't looked yet). I assume most of  the plants they have at any one time are when it's their flowering season (if they flower). I wasn't intending to buy anything, though was very tempted, but I'd definitely go here again once I've sorted out my overgrown garden. Other Stuff Don't think they sell pots, compost, etc. No cafe/tea room and I didn't see a loo, but Flittons is just over the road. FLITTONS  Parking Easy to park Plants Sorry, but mostly terrible. There was one section with vegetables and the rest was flowering plants. There was a general feeling of delapidation. Some of what was on display was actually dead (surely it would only take a minute to remove dead plants) and a lot of the rest was very poorly maintained, eg gone to seed, weedy, apparently unwatered, or with a lot of dead leaves. There was a notice asking for volunteers to work there, so I can only assume they can't afford to pay staff. Other stuff There was a notice to a play barn (?) saying invited people only, so I think they must host kids' parties or something. They redeemed themselves with a cosy little cafe with savoury stuff, nice cakes, iced chai and oat milk, and a loo. Also a selection of books and CDs on sale for charity. If you want an Andrews Sisters CD, you can find one here. There is a small shop with gift shop type stuff and a display of the history of Flittons, which apparently is family owned since the sixties (I think it was). I suspect that the arrival of Dobbies down the road must have greatly affected Flittons' fortunes, which is sad. DOBBIES  Parking Easy in theory once you had navigated a rather narrow entrance, but it was very busy so it took a while to find a space. Plants  Lots of plants, well maintained but I imagine their turnover is high. Lots of nice bedding plants for hanging baskets, window boxes etc  to cater for all tastes (ie some of it wasn't mine, but fine if you like those horrid little begonias (my opinion only) but they did have some nice (in my opinion) stuff as well. I was tempted but decided to buy from North Cross Road market. Fair selection of climbers, various different Clematis etc. I'd be happy to buy plants from here. The prices seemed reasonable and they were in good condition. Other stuff  It's a big garden centre with all that entails these days, so a large area selling garden furniture and storage, tools, animal collars, pots, all the usual stuff you would expect. Very helpful staff. There's a cafe which we didn't check out, charging points for electric cars, a Waitrose (no idea how big, we didn't look). Only on our way out did we see that there was a drive through "express section" for compost etc, which was annoying as I wanted compost and hadn't seen any anywhere,  but I was getting tired by that time. Just Down the Road A ten minute drive away is Wilderness Island, a nature reserve in Carshalton, which is well worth a visit. We heard eleven different kinds of bird (according to Merlin) and saw a Kingfisher flying down the tiny river!
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...