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Strange man caught doing a number two on our front doorstep this morning

Ms Smalls

By Ms Smalls
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Ms Smalls

Ms Smalls

Posted
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Hi all

I am new to this forum - just signed up today!


Really just wanted to post a warning about a strange man I found doing a poo outside our front door this morning. He apologised for being 'caught short' when I opened the door and then he scarpered pretty sharpish... leaving a trail of soiled newspaper for us to pick up after him though! My poor boyfriend has been disinfecting the whole area this morning.... so revolting!


He wasn't aggressive or anything and hopefully he won't be 'caught short' again but thought I'd mention it as someone else we know in East Dulwich thinks it may have happened to them before too.

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Pierre

Pierre

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That's pretty foul - are you on a street near a pub? And what time in the morning was it? I have a comical mental image of a be-suited commuter putting down his laptop bag to squat in your doorway... sorry, that's horrible, hope the mess and smell went away easily!


: P

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SteveT

SteveT

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Posted

The 'Greater slack arsed git' is an animal marking his territory, I saw something akin to this on one of those Attenborough programmes.


Apparently there is a tendency for this creature to behave in this manner at this time of year when the weather is so mild, the frequency diminishes on cold wintery mornings.


The receiver's of the unrequested deposits are all looking forward to chilly winds from the north to greatly reduce, or possibly remove any further unwanted outbreaks of this odious behaviour.

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Louisa

Louisa

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Ladies and gents can we drop the toilet humour please - I think this poor chap may well have been affected by this mysterious ED stomach bug that has been doing the rounds, perhaps we should randomly put loo rolls outside our front gates to help aid the aflicted in these dark times.


Louisa.

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Ms Smalls

Ms Smalls

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Thanks everyone! I am finding this all much more amusing today and feeel much less traumatised from my run-in with the doorstep pooper.


The funniest thing was having to close my front door again while he finished! It was either that or step over him... no thanks!


Anyway, the shop across the road caught him on their CCTV - he was in there minutes before trying to buy booze but they refused to serve him so early in the morning (the bowel movement took place around 7.50-8.00am)

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alba

alba

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Just wondered if you were anywhere near the Goose Green end of East Dulwich. I saw a man hunkered down producing a turd on the grassy area by the mural, flanking the playground. It was so odd and so public, that I just averted my eyes and carried on. I'd forgotten all about it until this latest tale of the turd.
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