Are there any nice single men in East D? (Lounged))

[Moos]

I think I'd make a lovely Buttons. You, on the other hand, were born to play Snow White! Annaj with her knowingness could be the Magic Mirror On The Wall.

Now, to find 7 appropriate actors for the dwarfs...

[Michael Palaeologus]

Sod off.

[Bellenden Belle]

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Sod off.

Right, so that's Grumpy sorted.

Next?

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I believe D_C has a penchant for the little men.

[Michael Palaeologus]

D_C = "Happy" ::o

[Brendan]

You may have to change the dwarves? names slightly if you want to properly type cast them with forumists. Perhaps something along the lines of Smelly, Hairy, Boozy, Angry, Pervy and Dot.

[LuvPeckham]

I say

What sizests you all are on here... Dwarfs don't like being called Dwarfs, they prefer 'People of Short Stature' - Little People doesn't rock their boats either !!!

I can't believe this has turned into a Panto, after EMC and Crispy sent out a desperate cry for help to the good fairies fo ED (for a Man for Christmas in their Stockings.... which actually puts a weird picture in my head...) and now Moos seems to have taken centre stage , BB has turned into the Widow Twanky and run off with Buttons and MP has turned into the wicked Uncle (and cue evil music) who casts our heroine into the cave to get the magic lanten containing the Genie that grants a woman three wishes for the man of her dreams... All the whilst there are some kinky cats (pusses in boots) out there posting pictures of themselves in a vain hope that they will get some left over Turkey at Christmas, and Snow White is having 'Seven-up' whilst she waits for a real man to come along and whip her off her feet (??on to her back again I fear??)

At the same time time Jack has taken Jill up the hill for a pale of water (some story) and she forgot her Pill and now they have a Daughter (Pale of water must be panto slang for 'the car has run out of Petrol darling') but I hear you cry where is the Giant in all of this, well he isn't behind you ("oh yes he is", "oh no he isn't") he is actually above you making the rain effects (don't what ever you do drink the rain water)

So at the end of the Panto, I hope that Crispy and EMC find the man of their dreams, BB doesn't vanish into the bad-lands of Penge and Cinders gets her evil aunt sent to prison for slavery and kidnap, before the prince discovers she isn't a virgin and he can't marry her (hey this is the Naughtys version now)

So girls, the moral of this story is if you are very very very good, and wish hard enough, you may well get the man of your dreams in your stockings this year, but if you are very very very naughty then I am sure the man of your dreams has already cum for you. And finally if you are very very very good at being naughty then call me on 0800 Naughty-but-Nice !!!!

[Brendan]

Here?s some deeply intellectual commentary on the subject from the mainstream media. http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/life-is-not-some-piece-of-shit-film%2c-women-told-200812171465/

[LuvPeckham]

Thanks Brendan

But eventually he will realise that the incredibly good looking one he thought he was in love with is really just a stupid, evil cow

Sure sums up some of my previous girlfirends...

[Miles]

I'm a nice single man, professional, well educated and a home owner. Do I fit the bill?

[TillieTrotter]

Perfectly, what time can we come and pick you up! ;-)

[LuvPeckham]

Careful Tillie, He isn't that bloke from the C4 Documentry last night is he ?

[emc]

He's mine!

[TillieTrotter]

I need enlightening LuvP, what bloke? Try hard not to shatter every ounce of hope I have.

[LuvPeckham]

Sigh

they did a C4 documentry on Tuesday night entitled "MAN HUNTERS: MEET THE GIGOLOS"

I actually didn't see it however Mother* did and she told me all about it yesterday.... I have to say it sounded quite bizzare and only one of them (the English gent) seemed to come out as 'almost normal'

Does that help - if not go to 4od and see it for yourself ...

Hope well and truely shattered I suspect now.... however you still ahve Miles above to pick up and play with

*Oh gosh, sounds like I own the Bates Hotel now.... shower time anyone ?

[LuvPeckham]

So it is now Christmas Eve, Santa is on his way to fill the stockings of all good little boys and girls and what we need to know is did EMC and Crispy get their men in the end ?

[SimonM]

.....or did they get them in other parts of their anatomy? B)