Thirtysomething...

[karter]

Thanks SteveT for your best wishes, i wonder why my other 'friends' on this forum are not wishing me a happy birthday.

Must be because of the kebab and wine fiasco... :))

[????]

Indie...I am nearer the half century than my 40th.....Big Bad wolf is in fact my son......

*clips Big Bad Wolf behind the ear "Oi, behave yourself"

[giggirl]

Dearest JustG,

I'm in my 40s. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier; but the truth is that it doesn't. We are all stumbling along doing the best we can and that's the best that can be said for any of us. You may come across people who appear to have it all sussed out; but that really is just a confidence trick; smoke and mirrors. People who know me would say I'm such a person but my jaw always drops when I hear this. I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I always try to be authentic. I'm as vulnerable and as scared as the next person.

The choices that we make are important, for sure; but some things are chosen for us. We don't choose our families, and that's a biggie. We don't choose whether or not we are able to have children (I couldn 't). Society is cruel. There are things we are supposed to achieve and this puts us all under enormous pressure. It's like some sadistic bastard somewhere has created a template and if we can't tick all those boxes on cue then we're failing. You're a thirtysomething feeling the pressure, I'm a fortysomething feeling the pressure, so just imagine what it's like to be a teenager today!

Terribly sorry, no good news here. No words of wisdom. Do the best you can. Be authentic. Be kind. Try hard not to screw up. If you do screw up; forgive yourself. Wear nice shoes. Be happy.

Px

[HonaloochieB]

"Do the best you can. Be authentic. Be kind. Try hard not to screw up. If you do screw up; forgive yourself. Wear nice shoes. Be happy."

What do you mean no words of wisdom Giggi? They'll do for me.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> "Do the best you can. Be authentic. Be kind. Try

> hard not to screw up. If you do screw up; forgive

> yourself. Wear nice shoes. Be happy."

>

> What do you mean no words of wisdom Giggi? They'll

> do for me.

I agree!

Do the best screw you can and be nice b4,during and afterwards.:)-D

[KalamityKel]

Remember... it's anti-clockwise to undo it! ;-)

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Is anti-clockwise "in" this year?

[KalamityKel]

Erm, consulting a Guru in this field may be more productive ;-)

[MrBen]

Er...this is a good thread and I wish to save it!

I'd say your feelings are very normal. The best bit of advice I could give to anyone looking for "The Path" would be to follow your inner voice. Don't want to get all Dream Machine on you here but I spent too long not listening to mine. If you don't like what you're doing change it! Life's too short. And don't work for anyone else. Starting a business of some kind was a big move forward for me (and I risked everything) but it has been the most rewarding life experience I've had. I also wanted to combine this with a social/charitable enterprise aspect....this excites me most! Anyways stop worrying and whatever you do just go for it. I tip my hat and wish you well.....

[LegalEagle-ish]

I remember a woman I worked with who was about 20 yrs older than me and was having an affair with a big-time gangster. She used tosay that when she is 80 and sitting in her rocking chair, she wants be able to laugh at all the stuff she'd done even if she regretted some of it, rather than sitting there miserable, regretting the things she didn't do.

[Sarah J.]

I just read your post, and I can assimilate with your situation. The difference is that I am one of those "20 somethings" that you refer to whom supposedly has everything sorted out!

I think that the thing you have to take into consideration is that most 20 somethings do have an idea of what they want, but they either change their mind before they're into their thirties, or life changes it for them! The world has too many variables in it to be able to stay on our own self-determined path: I know that's true of me.

I had everything planned out. I had a 5 and 10 year plan; aside from some small events and achievements, those plans have been blown out of the water.

Don't feel too bad; we're human beings, we are supposed to travel in all sorts of different directions. Something I try to keep in mind is: Life is not about the destination, it's the paths you choose to go down to get there that count.

Collective experiences make for a varied, interesting and full life. Embrace who you are and to hell with categorising yourself because you are in a certain demographic.

Hope that helped!

S

[Izodia]

Well I turned 30 last year. I still feel pretty junior at work, I'm living with someone but not married and no children. I don't have any amazing skill or hobby. No stories of interesting world travels. Weigh far more than I'd like to. Not particularly fit. But on turning 30 I feel a renewed confidence in myself...I don't have to worry about being cool, fashionable, thin etc, etc. I can just enjoy myself and not worry what everyone else thinks. Personally I think getting older is great as it seems you finally start to feel comfortable in your own skin. :-)

[Sarah J.]

I completely agree with Izodia.

As you get older, you start feeling more comfortable with yourself, no matter what your imperfections.

As much as I would love to say that I am satisfied with my life, I know that I never will be 100%, so I just try to do the best with what I have, and I go looking for the things that I want.

I feel fairly lucky; I have travelled a lot, studied overseas, I have a lovely family back home, and am now living in London again. I don't have a boyfriend, nor do I have the job that I want, but that is what keeps me going. If I had everything I wanted, I'd always find something else to try and obtain....

While having one of my "oh god my life is going nowhere" moments, a friend of mine told me, "Life is about the pursuit of happiness"... and it's true. I'm still discovering new pursuits every day that put a smile on my face.

[Keef]

At the end of the day, we are all cogs working for the machine, even those who claim to rage against it.

Just stop worrying about it and have a drink! :)-D

[Sarah J.]

Keef has the right idea!

[SeanMacGabhann]

it's all in the game yo

Seeing as how Sarah Dew has gone post-mad for the first time today seems as good a time as any to say "welcome to the forum Sarah"

are you the same Sarah I spoke with on Friday night?

[Keef]

I was wondering that too, I kept meeting Sarah at the bar.

[Sarah J.]

Thanks Sean! But, no...different Sarah...popular name ;-)

Hmm, reflecting on the morning, I do seem to have been posting things no EDF more than I have been working.... oh well, this is far more interesting and productive in my present state of mind :))

[Sarah J.]

Goodness! This Sarah does seem to have been a popular figure of the aforementioned evening! I'm starting to wish it was me!

[mockney piers]

"I do seem to have been posting things no EDF more than I have been working"

I suspect you're not the first to suffer from forumitis!! Welcome to the club, or support group as it probably ought to be.

[Sarah J.]

"I do seem to have been posting things no EDF more than I have been working"

Oh goodness! See, that's what I get for doing my work whilst posting on here!!

[Tony.London Suburbs]

I agree.

[Caron]

I'm 41 and considering another career change and trying to work out what to do with my life.

[ThinLizzy]

The responses on this site have really cheered me up!! I'm 33 and just trying to finish phd. I've worked hard over the years to build up my CV and get 'all the right experiences' for career. I've really kept focused and 'got my kicks' from the work. But do you know what -- I'm about to finish and I'm having a mid-life crisis moment where I realise I've invested in my career and forgotten about the important things like having fun! I'm not too late to rectify it (ie travel, having spontaneous adventures), but it's a bit of a pain because I suddenly realise this is what life is all about, not work, work, work and I still have 10 months left to finish :( I guess 10 months is nothing, but it's tough when realisation suddenly dawns that work is not the be all and end all. When I was at school I was sold the dream: keep head down in academia and life will be sweet. Trouble is, if you're not careful it has a habit of sucking the very life out of you that you were searching for!

Anyway, thanks for cheering me up oh fellow 30-somethings, and it's true, most of us don't have it figured out, even if we thought we did!!! xx

[charliecharlie]

Hello JustG, I don't think it's about 'knowing what you're supposed to be doing with your life'... for me it's about patching together some interesting stuff to do and having great people in your life... that's it. I'm not looking for answers... just living life, keeping my eyes open for interesting experiences and trying to get the best out of each day.

my new year's resolutions were laugh more, dance more, worry less

ps I laugh and dance a lot