susyp

stand by my previous posting. It is of course only my opinion. I've been around my share of serious illnesses including a friend's son who has had meningitis (not one you can vaccinate against) and it's my view that vaccinations are crucial. If there is a medical reason why they are not appropriate for a particular child then by creating a herd immunity you are also protecting children like that. I don't think you are exposed in parks and playgrounds in quite the same way that you are at school. It's just a no brainer to me. But I do also understand why parents are nervous about sticking these things into their children. I was and I split up the jabs you get at 3 1/2 - rather than 3 a once we did 1 every 6 weeks. Needless to say this was not easy as my daughter then knew what was coming! susypx

but perhaps children who are not vaccinated should not be enrolled in schools , as it affects everyone when the herd immunity decreases. susypx

yes i used to do a remove the scooter for a day- that was what i threatened yesterday but the meltdown was IMMENSE. I am going to prewarn her that will happen in future though before we go out on the scooter. susypx

my daughter dropped her lunchtime nap at just over 2 (or i got fed up with how long it was taking to get her to sleep! and cos of the later bedtime). For a while I did have to put her to bed at 5.30. Often at 4.30 she was standing at the stairs begging to go to bed! (tv worked to keep her up). And I couldn't go out in the afternoons as she would sleep in pushchair / car. But it was only for a while. She is still often asleep at 630 at nearly 4! Have to say I much prefer it. susypx

thank you everyone, some good ideas here. belle funny you should post that. Yesterday my daughter rode off again - almost into the road in fact - and when I told her off she had huge huge meltdown tantrum. I happened to be with a friend and her son and she is a reception teacher. I was just inflaming the situation by getting mega cross and then my friend started that game you mention - can you ride to that yellow flower and stop - can you go to the lamp post and stop. It worked a treat - both at stopping tantrum and at keeping her in a reasonable distance. So that's a tactic I shall use from now on. Course it might not work for long but you can only work one day at a time can't you! susypx

I live in SW London now and in the last week there has been an attempted abduction from the gates of a primary school - plus 2 or 3 other incidents which police say may be linked. Everyone is v jumpy obviously. In the past I have told my daughter about "bad men" in a fit of panic when she scooted right round a corner and out of sight from me. On the way home today I felt forced to reiterate it as she wouldn't stick near me and I feel that she should be within arms length really. But of course it's not just men. I really have no idea what I am doing here and would appreciate any advice on how to tackle this. I know in her school in year 1 they have a talk about this. But I need her to know that she can't just scoot off miles away from me. She is also very friendly to adults and while it is clearly a good thing - I want to make sure she doesn't talk to random people if she is not right next to me. But I can also see I am in danger of totally freaking her out. I don;t want her to live her life in fear! Susypx

i was really worried about my daughter doing 5 1/2 days after only being at home with me with not that many playdates - and she was not very good around other children either. We had had a disasterous attempt at starting her somewhere 2 days a week when she was 2. But actually she was fine from day 1 in her school nursery - no tears at all - with a very understanding teacher who sorted out any social issues she had and I think it actually helped that she went 5 days a week. Of course now I am worrying about her doing 5 full days next year from reception but trying to tell myself to learn the lesson and go with the flow - it doesn't actualy matter if they find it a bit difficult to start as long as they do settle quickly! It's done her so much good to do the year and she really enjoys being part of a set class. susypx

well this morning she slept a bit later and so far today has been full of the joys of spring ! just shows you how quickly they bounce back. Her eyes were super puffy this morning though :-(. But we have been to the playground in the sun and she is absolutely fine and very happy and not mentioned last night at all and has only mentioned her friend in a "friend" context. I might say somethng to the teacher but I did go in just before Easter for a full on chat as the boys were playing "chasing" games and she wouldn't go to school because of it! She did the whole role play thing with them with puppets, and we have also worked on showing my daughter how to say "stop- I don't like it". If I get an easy chance I'll mention it but I am sure my daughter is also guilty of these things on occasion - I have heard her saying to one girl "i am playing with xxx today but I will play with you later" which I thought was a little bit harsh. thanks for all the comments. I think it is right just to listen and not offer any explanations. I am very guilty of always trying to make things better, my dad does this - but since I've had some troubles in my life I have definitely found that sometimes you just want full sympathy not someone telling you it will be ok or trying to make it seem ok. SO that is my approach now. It seems to have worked on this occasion! I would have taken her for a day out if she wanted to but she never wants to miss school . Plan to take a few days this term though as it's really the last term I feel I can do it. thanks for all the supportive comments! susypx

ah thank you that is lovely. I am trying to take that approach that she can talk to me and i will listen - as I don't think I ever told my mum the stuff that happened to me at school. Not a lot Mums can do about it apart from listen of course. I may just take her down to the playground in the morning and then hang around a bit longer when she goes to school until I can see she is playing nicely with someone. Hard to get the balance right and not make too much drama over things. So much comes out at bath or bedtime, even though we've had 2 hours before that! susypx

I said to her earlier (not on this subject) - it's not the end of the world. And she said "could the world end mummy?". Man. Yes it has been a grim day. lesson learnt from previous days is that it is usually a precursor of a lergy. thanks hello sailor sadly we can hardly fit in our house at the moment what with all the builders but good plan i may text a few people to see if they fancy meeting at the playground in the morning as it is meant to be a nice day - Thank the lord. I guarantee I;ll be awake half the night thinking about how to cheer up then she will wake up happy as larry with it all forgotten! susypx

Sigh, this is not really a call for advice, but I had to "let it out". Tired and neurotic mum alert!!! I've just spent an hour with my daughter crying in her bed (she is normally asleep in 2 mins after I leave her at 7pm) about how her best friend at school over the last 2 days has told her she doesn't want to be her friend anymore. She is nearly 4. Now of course this is going to happen, and she won't be upset for long, but how on earth do you cope and what do you say?! It is apparent that although she is very outgoing and sociable she is also sensitive as we have had a few little moments like this over the last year - but an hour crying in my arms tonight - really?! And of course I said all the wrong things. Aforementioned friend is going to a different school next year - which she knows - so I explained to her about all the lovely new children she would meet soon - cue even bigger wails - I WANT ESTHER TO GO TO MY SCHOOL . Took me ages to calm her down even to the previous level. I had a terrible time at school but I was very very shy and didn't make friends easily. She can make a friend at the drop of a hat (although I am sure that is partly her age). I think she is a bit under the weather as today really all she had done has cried (and not about this until bedtime). Our house is hellish cramped and noisy with building work so I am thinking of taking her for a mummy day out tomorrow to a farm or something to cheer her up in a situation when I would normally just give her a quiet day at home. Or is that just the wrong message - should she just go to school as usual.. susypx

also my daughter is nearly 4 and i think my husband has only taken her out for the day once. He would say that is because I am a control freak - and yes he didn't do it as I would have done it - didn't take a lunch for her (she has a milk allergy) and so all she had was chips in MacDonalds. But I think she loved it. Very soon I am going to visit my sister for 5 days in Wales and leaving him home alone with her. I think they will have a whale of time but it certainly would not be how I do it. You sound quite similar to me. Lesson I have learnt - too late really - is not to criticise anything he does with her. I am hoping after a few days on their own together he will have the confidence to take her out more. You only learn from experience and if hubbies work full time they just don't get the experience or the chance to make mistakes. Plus my daughter loves telling him off if he does things wrong. I also think its good for her to be challenged with someone doing it differently. Taken me 4 years to get to this place mind. Neurotic, helicopter parent me. Susypx

Ole my set up is similar to yours - although my husband does the finances and is mainly in control of the endless building work we seem to have. However, the big difference is that I don't work. I think if you work part time then it's not a fair balance. I have on many occasions questioned why my day starts at 630 and I am still clearing up at 9 - he gets up at 8 and is home at 8. But now that my daughter sleeps through and is at nursery 3 hours a day I am less concerned about this. HOWEVER, I am currently looking for a job and we will swap roles. I FULLY expect my husband to do exactly the amount I do - and all hell will break out if he doesn't! It will be tons easier for him to as daughter will be in full time school from Sept and we will have a better functioning kitchen (read dishwasher) and so there will be NO EXCUSE for not having a completely immaculate house. hem hem I have to say I don't think you can change people. Either they are OCDish or they are not. If I were you, considering you work part time, I would get a weekly cleaner. My last boyfriend who I lived with for a long long time did sod all and I got a cleaner even though we didn't have kids - as it wasn't fair that that I did all the cleaning! Susypx

thank you all i think I am going to stick with what I have. As long as I get pass the parcel and the singing for blowing out the candles in i think she will be happy! so might try and do the pass the parcel first and get it over with then I only have one more thing to remember (and I might delegate that one to hubby ). arg! Susypx

yes , timetables and lists are my forte! thank you for advice I shall be militarily organised! How I can be so scared of doing a 4 year old party compared to some things I have done in my professional life I have no idea - but then I haven't worked for 4 years so the idea of actually organising a group of people is fairly terrifying! susypx

yes that was my initial thinking however all the ones I have been to this year have been morning ones so was getting worried. The problem is the next weekend is the end of term so probably lots of people will disappear. is half an hour enough time to set up a kids party? I have an entertainer coming who I know who also needs half an hour to set up so if we concentrate on her (and getting the food in) it then gives us 40 mins when she is doing her thing to set up the party food tables outside (unless it is terrible weather when we'll have to do a quick turnaround on the space inside - but what can you do). I was planning to bring some crafty stuff to have inside - it;s a princess party so can have crowns to decorate I suppose - will be a lifesaver if it rains! next year onwards I want to do them at home but we are in the middle of building work so no chance! woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat about this! Susypx susypx

There have been a few threads recently about children's parties which have got me worrying about my daughter's one . I booked somewhere a while ago in the afternoon (2-5 - half an hour set up each side). However now I am worrying I haven't allowed enough time but I can't make the booking any earlier. I am thinking a 2.30-4.30 party is ok but a 3-5 is too late. I could change it to the week after my daughter's birthday and get a morning slot - with no worries about who is before and longer to set up. And I suppose arrange a treat for the actual birthday weekend. Are morning parties generally easier do people find for this age group? I have hired a story teller so there is a level of focus I am hoping for from the children! susypx

thank you i am now sold on 2d! now having a "debate" with hubby who wants to take her to a massive screen to watch it as he remembers going to the cinema for the first time and being amazed how big it was. Whereas I like those tiny little cinemas. She is more like him and very visual so I think he's probably right! Susypx

oh my god my daughter would never leave a party without a party bag! another good crafty site is crafty crocodiles, i've found it very cheap.

My nearly 4 year old daughter is fairly obsessed with princess stories and her favourite is beauty and the beast. I'm thrilled that it's out again in the cinema as she has never been and it's a lovely way to introduce it to her. However, I am wondering if it would be better to go for one of the 2d showings rather than 3d. I have actually never seen a 3d film myself so not sure what it entails - but I don't want to freak her out on her first visit to the cinema. Are 3d films better for older children or do younger children love them? thank you (oldfogey here!) susypx

we use the pure sunflower - there is also a pure soya one if you prefer which my daughters nursery use for all their baking. my hubbie makes the cakes but I think he just makes icing with icing sugar and water ie not buttercream icing. but i can't make cakes so could be wrong on that! i just gave our builders some of our cup cakes we made over the weekend and they ate far too many of them so clearly it's not possible to taste the difference. oh and i think my hubbie sometimes uses stork for pastry as i'm not sure the marg works so well in that case. you can also get lots of substitute chocolate - there is one called moo free which is in waitrose which is not made with soya like most of them. We were fine avoiding chocolate until she started nursery though. we make chocolate cake using cocoa. Delia has a good recipe using cocoa rather than chocolate. happy baking! susypx

You just have to use pure sunflower margarine instead of butter. It works very successfully. We make cakes with it all the time. :-) susypx

no - fair question , it came down quite substantially - but then I had been trying to sell it for over a year at a higher price - i just needed someone sane to tell me what it was worth! Had tiny bedroom though big flat so previous agents kept bringing around couples - was really too small - roy brooks only brought around singletons - they seemed to do a lot of selling before they even had a viewing. But, I am no expert in this area. susypx

A few years ago I sold my flat on Marmora Road through Roy Brooks. V different situation - but what they were brilliant at was expounding it' virtues and finding the right person to buy it. They were agent no 4 I tried and sold it within a fortnight. Have a look at their website and see their descriptions. They use a former copywriter. And the photos are amazing. Might be worth thinking about if you have something different to the norm. Susypx

Glad it took a top academic to work that out .... susypx