susyp

lovely thought through post molly thanks for that. v interesting what everyone is saying about being around for the school run, I hadn't thought about that at all. susypx no idea how this got posted twice. bed beckons x

lovely thought through post molly thanks for that. v interesting what everyone is saying about being around for the school run, I hadn't thought about that at all. susypx

how does it feel when they start school full time . I'm worried I;m going to be rattling around the house getting depressed. and certainly I worry that people will wonder what I'm going with myself. the other thing that was making me vaguely think about going back to work was the way in which my husband views me. He is very keen for me to stay at home - no issue there - but whereas in my job I was perhaps slightly senior to him, certainly better paid (different roles, same industry), now he gets to come home and moan about the dust, or something really inane, which he would never have done when I worked. In myself I have no issues with not working, but I do question the way it makes people view me, even subconsciously. And for example when I go for dinner with ex work friends, or anyone really who is into their job - they do talk work a lot and I really have little to say apart from talking about my little one. How do you keep yourself interesting to people who aren't obsessed with, or don;t have children?! I;m so completely besotted with my daughter that really I dont think about much else! Weird as in myself I am probably happier than I've been but I do worry I;m becoming a bit closed off from the world. I rarely watch the news anymore and that for me is a big change. Susypx

really encouraging thread as I was beginning to think that maybe I should look into getting a job - i took redundancy from my wellpaid but super stressful job i hated, when I had my daughter. Then when she was a babe I got a serious illness and that basically put paid to any thoughts for a while of going back to work - I just couldn't contemplate leaving her when I didn't know how long I would have with her. But as time goes on people have started asking me a lot when I am going back and so I started thinking maybe I should. I definitely think my friends think I am slightly odd. All of my friends work and I haven't made any friends with SAHM although I do chat to quite a few people at groups. These days, as my daughter is 3, our play dates are much more focused on who SHE gets on with and increasingly her friends are with their nannies, I suppose as they are getting older and more and more mums go back to work . \ But because I got ill, we are not going to have any more children ,and I feel that I really don;t want her to be coming home to anyone apart from me when she starts school, as she is an only child that seems quite important. So this thread is great as it's re-inspired me to stay at home. We can afford it by living a moderate lifestyle and it seems a small price to pay. It may not last forever as my husband is freelance so I am trying to make the most of it while his work is going well. It can be a bit lonely but I do enjoy being at home. Not quite sure what I will do when she starts school ful time - but that's 18 months away and so much can change.... Though I am very much looking forward to the 3 hours a day to myself though from september when she starts nursery school! Clean house, finally..... Exercise finally..... Relaxed coffees, finally...! Susypx

my daughter is allergic to dairy and has neocate milk on prescription - there is one for pre 1 year and one for post 1 year. Suggest your daughter batters her GP to prescribe. It's very expensive. In fact if she is not allergic could try nutramigen which is much less expensive. Nutramigen is broken down cows milk and ok for many children and neocate is completely chemically produced amino acids as I understand. Give you everything you need. I would definitely advise seeing a dietitian. I don;t think fat is the issue - calcium and iron are. GP can refer. Susypx

same as chantelle, my daughter is finally sleeping like a log - 630pm until 730am today:-). It's been a very long road to get here. Today she has managed a really really busy day without falling asleep although is clearly zonked now. My Mum was with us today and is adamant it's just because her activity level has massively increased. So I hope so. She is well otherwise. Have just sent off to check no urine infection as yesterday she said once it hurt when she weed, and given that she had a temp at the weekend thought was worth a try. But thanks to this thread I am starting to think its just one of those development things. A very nice nanny I see at one of our groups said to me today she had noticed this happening when children go through growth spurts, so could be that I suppose. Susypx

the stomach ache was related to the bug she has just had I think. Most people I know who have 2+ year olds don't have them napping anymore - the ones that do do it because they work/get back from work in the evening etc and want to see their children before they go to bed - as I stay at home I quite like her in bed by half 6! By the sound of all these posts it's quite common to be tired at this age - my mum pointed out how lively she is now compared to a few months ago - she's incredibly active like all children this age. She has been napping the last couple of days as she gets over her bug and it;s been hell putting her down in the evening so I have stopped it as of today! Susypx

Yes i remember reading a while ago about the importance of quiet time in the day. We do have quite frenetic days as I am not great at staying in the house. But yes I think I am going to have to get a bit of balance. The problem is that she can go a bit mental if we don;t do enough but I think there is a balance to be had. I've already decided to ditch any ideas of doing anything in the mornings before nursery from September. Which is actually rather nice. My friend says she does things like go to a cafe etc in the mornings with her son who is in afternoon nursery - which sounds quite nice really - without feeling the pressure to stimulate her!! Susypx

Thank you for all your replies. I did book her in to see doctor and also spoke to NHS direct who suggested tests for anameia and diabetes. She shouldn't have low iron levels as has special non dairy prescription milk which is supposed to have all that she needs. They also suggested it could be a big growth spurt. However, in this particular case it turns out she was actually ill yesterday (and I was super grumpy with her feel awful) - had temperature of 40 last night only brought down slightly by repeated calpol doses - much better today. But I think it explains this weeks tiredness. I think that maybe I am not quite getting the balance right between doing lots of things to keep her stimulated and not bored (she is awful when bored too) - and then not overtired. But it's interesting what you all say - I suspect this age is so demanding for them that they do get very tired. I am going to hold off the blood tests for a while. The nurse at NHS Direct said same as Fuschia - paed nurse would do it and it wouldn;t be too bad - but I think I am just going to try and calmly observe her for a bit after she gets over this lergy. thanks again Susypx

My daughter is 3 in July and she dropped her nap just after she was 2. She's always been fine on no naps despite being pretty restless in the night. Just recently she has started to really sleep well at night but what is weird is that she is really exhausted in the day. Sometimes I'll have a terrible day with (like today) and then she'l lfall asleep in the car on the way home from somewhere - early or mid afternoon - and I;ll realise that's why. So I started to move her bath to 6pm and get her asleep by 630 which worked for a bit. She has a groclock and doesn;t call me until 7am but she does wake quite a bit earlier and sings etc to herself. I think it is the early waking that is a problem but if she wakes up there is not much she or I can do about it. Today she was miserable in a class we do which starts at 1pm (after a quiet morning where we just visit a cafe), and then we went to the playground and she basically had hysterics all the way through until I gave up and dragged her home. Then she fell asleep in the car but woke as we got home. We agreed I'd quickly make dinner - but then as I served it she decided she wanted a poo - cue me going a bit mental and her crying. Then she fell asleep on the toilet and fell off it. I;ve put her to bed and she was asleep even before I put her down. I would reintroduce her naps but she is starting afternoon school nursery in September so there doesn;t seem much point as I;ll just have to wean her off them again pretty soon. It's awful as it just makes her miserable all the time. Some days she is fine, tired but happy perhaps, but some days, like to day, it's just a living hell (sorry to be melodramatic)! Deep down I'm just really worried this is a sign of some awful illness as it;s a real change in behaviour. Susypx ps she also has been complaining very occasionally and only over the past few days - of tummy ache - but when I ask her whereabouts it always changes so I don't know if she is just saying that.

womanofdulwich - for 8 years now I have worn earplugs, of different brands, tried pillow over my head, over his head , invariably even on good nights I sleep the wrong way up in the bed! I just realised after 2 weeks when for some reason he didn't snore - how much better I felt. And I have a nearly 3 year old who has only been sleeping through for a 6 months, together with 2 years of illness- only been better for 6 months - so to have 2 weeks where I felt GOOD was a bit of a revelation! It has been slightly better the last 2 nights - not the snoring - but on sat night he agreed to sleep downstairs on the sofa bed - last night I did. It's been better because I do all thef urniture moving etc and lay out the bed before I go to bed - then if I need to move it's not such a drama. I think it will help me with all the builder stuff as I will be thinking of the loft as my bolthole! saffron thank you for links will read through this evening. Scary stuff about links to illnesses - his father died of a heart attack and his mother of a stroke - so from now after reading that we are eating even more healthily and taking more days out . Don;t think I will pass that particular gem on to him :-( fushchia - On holidays I am hoping that I can persuade him to nearly always book self catering - with 2 rooms - so I can escape. A few years ago we spent a week in Barcelona and his snoring was horrendous that week - I have never felt s terrible I don;t thik I slept a wink. Felt like I was tripping. O nthe last night I couldn;t cope and I went and lay on the lobby area we had in our room - he went mental when he found me as it was supposed to be a romantic break. Maybe one day he;ll get how it impacts on me but I am starting to doubt it so all I can do is find solutions that work for me! I think you must be a saint to cope with it all. I would start in different beds but to be honest our sex life is very very slowly getting back to anything resembling normal after everything and I think it would set things back somewhat were I too fully decamp. He has been pretty patient (if moany!) during everything! and finally sally81 I do sympathise - a few years ago I had pretty chronic insomnia and just before I went onto drugs I tried acupuncture - it completely worked (had tried various other alt therapies none of which worked). Have been fine since then although recenlty have been a bit worse again ie can;t get back to sleep when I wake - but think it may be too much coffee - you get in a vicious circle don;t you. i get really stressed if he even comes to bed at the same time as me at the moment as I am so desperate to go to sleep first ! very very nice to know I am not alone with this problem ! Makes me feel a bit more resolute about doing what I need to to retain sanity - as I really cannot cope with feeling shitty anymore. Suspy

yes agreed with all of you. making me feel much better. i do use industrial earplugs. and a very loud baby monitor so i can hear her. i think maybe the key is to have a spare room (which we will soon) and not make a drama about the fact that I will really consider it my room! my daughter will just have to learn to climb the stairs safely - she is nearly 3 - so hould be ok Fuschia how on earth do you cope? Susypx

You wouldn't believe how true this is til it happens to you!

Just looking for some commiseration here really. Anyone else have partners that snore? It has been the bane of my life now for the entire 8 years of our relationship and now that sleep is so important (when I'm running around after a little one) it's really getting to me. We had a huge row last night as normally I just get up, go downstairs, move everything around, get out the sofa bed, etc etc, but last night I thought maybe HE should do it and he went nuts. Then I didn;t go back to sleep because I was so wound up after a row so now facing a day without having had any sleep (and guess who is snoring away upstairs). Which is why I normally just get up. Arg. We are having a loft built soon so will have a proper other bed and I can't wait! My only problem is that I am worried that my little one will try and find me and climb up stairs so really would rather my hubbie was the one that transferred beds. We had 2 weeks recently when he didn;t snore, and the combination of that and my daughter having been sleeping through for the last 6 months meant i started to feel like a new woman. Now the snoring is back and I do not want to go back to feeling like this! what do others do. I feel like insisting on separate bedrooms. Is that a marriage death knell. Have to say the way I feel this morning the idea of living somewhere without Mr Snorer is very attractive! If I were to have my time again I would be finding out about snoring on date 1! susypx

have to say I got one cheap potty and a baby bjorn one with a comfy back was given to us (worth about ?25 - not sure I would have bought it!) - and my daughter far prefers the baby bjorn one. But then it's taken us ages to get her to use the toilet instead so guess it has downsides. Susyx

yes we have a party wall guy i guess was second guessing him a bit - it's just useful to hear others take on it as we only have one person advising us (obv). He seems to think this guy is ok. I guess we will see. It's a loft and extension. Can't believe I'm already stressed out and the building work hasn;t even begun yet. doh. susypx

Last summer I sold my very difficult to sell flat through Roy Brooks. They gave it a realistic price (what I was thinking but found it hard to say no to other estate agents saying it was worth more). They sold it in 2 weeks and were fantastic to deal with. I H ad been trying to sell it for 2 years. Look at their website for how they sell things - amazing. Have been round quite a few and they are hugely a cut above anyone else. And no I don't work for them! Susypx

Random thread here but I wondered if anyone had experience of establishing a party wall agreement with neighbours they don't get on with. We have one awful side who we know are in the process of moving - however this may not happen for 4-5 months. We expected them to appoint their own party wall surveyor and they have. However we have discovered it;s not a registered surveyor but a builder (possibly a friend of the family) and alarm bells are ringing. Is it possible/easy for them to take us for a monetary ride- eg keep calling the builder back to check things, charge astronomical rates? We are thinking about postponing our building work until they have moved, given that it is likely they will, but it is pretty frustrating as we have lived in a brown house now for 2 years and we are all geared up to get it renovated! Plus we will have to pay our party wall surveyor some of his fees I think. thank you for any advice Susypx

We started potty training in July and probably didn;t get the wee thing really sorted til just before christmas - and poo thing sorted maybe last month! should have waited til she was 21/2 i think (christmas). susypx

thank you - a lovely read after a crappy crap crap day ! susypx

My daughter was like this (is also nearly three) and I think it's only been in the last month that she is happy to use the loo. I think in the end my Mum said she was old enough (after a bout of diarrohea at my Mum's where she had to use the loo!) and I was just very firm in persuading her. Initially I had to sit on the floor next to her then I had enough of that and now she does it with the door shut -takes ages and ages though. We do still have mishaps. She did it in the bath the other day - scared the life out of her to be followed around the bath by a big poo though so I don;t think she;ll be doing it again. I was worried we would never get there - she would only do it in her nappy with herself wrapped in a curtain. She never did it in a potty. I think in the end what really worked was telling her it would make a great PLOP sound. Susypx

It got better once she was diagnosed with her allergy - but if she is already on formula you might have noticed it as she had a massive reaction as soon as we tried her on formula. Though I don't think all responses are as big she was just very allergic. I have met other people who didn't diagnose it for a year because it wasn;t as obvious. Hipp Organic seems to have more milk content in it as we had given her aptimil without any reaction and as soon as she had Hipp we had hives/vomitting/diarrohea - all within 2 mins of giving it to her! It was so bad at one point that I had to sleep with her and rub her tummy every half an hour so she could go back to sleep. Got better as soon as we switched her milk to a non-allerginic one basically. She was in really chronic pain from about 5am until she did a poo at around 7am. Was absolutely awful. :-( If you do suspect it's an allergy I would suggest getting referred privately as waiting list is almost a year. Should cost about ?120 for a consultation - then you can switch into NHS system if necessary. I thought it was colic- she used to scream for hours in the evening - but I don't think it was normal it was the allergy. She used to do poos in the morning right up her back and all over the sheets and everything - that I think is a sign of an allergy. Babies poos are quite messy but don't normally mean a change of sheets every morning! It's very hard when it's your first as you don't know what is normal and I found Gps and health visitors hopeless. good luck with it - hopefully it's just a stage and will pass but if it worsens I would def suggest getting referred to a specialist to rule out the possibilty of allergy. It got worse and worse with my daughter. so guess that's your clue. Susypx

my daughter used to have chronic pain every morning from about 5am - used to throw her legs up in the air and clearly had tummy/bowel problems. Also very explosive poos though not constipation. Turned out she was milk allergic so worth considering as a cause, although it doesn't sounds quite the same cos of the constipation. susypx

we were just discussing at dinner how good ours is - if you keep on the plastic bits they don;t tip back noticed that one my friend has tipped back and I don;t think it had the extra plastic bits on. susypx

yes normally it's just OJ with cereal or eggs in the morning. I've been giving her water today in a beaker I rediscovered (and so could present as new!) and she's been quite happy with it. Will look into the SLS thing. She is allergic to random things as well as dairy so definitely worth trying another toothpaste I think. Will discuss with dentist. Gums are still red today but around the sides of where the roots are - like little lines down the gums (can't explain it very well) rather than all over so not sure whether it's just a kiddy thing or a problem. Relieved to have finally pushed myself to sign us up with a dentist anyway! We're going together as no other way to do it really so if they find problems with mine I hope it doesn;t put her off!! thank you for all the advice, it really is much appredicated susypx