susyp

while we are on the subject, can i just ask does anyone know if you can bring your own food for allergic children? my daughter has cows milk allergy and i cannot imagine her accepting airline offerings - would they allow me to bring sandwiches for her with a doctors note? not flown for ages - but thinking about it! susypx

took my daughter 6 months after being wee toilet trained to be poo toilet trained! always insisted on wearing a nappy and squatting behind the curtain. Then eventually she did deign to poo in the toilet. Never did it in the potty! It was only once she was happy on the toilet really that the transition was made. Don't sweat the poo but continue with weeing!!! Susypx

it does get better. I remember when my daughter was on nutramigen (not as hypoallergenic as neocate) and still waking all the time at night and screaming so much that all I could do was to lie next to her with my arm around her, stroking her tummy until she could sleep . I used to go and meet my NCT group and ask them if this happened to them , I just couldn't work out what was wrong. Nutramigen does have some cows milk in it so that was the problem. She was so much better on neocate it was untrue. She was no longer in lots of pain although still woke a lot at night, due to other intolerances including wheat, soya, who knows what else. The wheat one went eventually. I feel your pain though. But at least you are seeking help. I am no expert but if nothing else is working it may be worth asking for neocate? Intolerances don';t happen immediately - they build up - i only found out about the soya intolerance after i had given my daughter soya yoghurts for 3 weeks - the last week she wriggled and cried in her sleep all night and it took me ages to click it was the soya. She is ok if she has the odd soya thing though. Allergies you can test for, intolerances not. It's a long hard road, but you will get through it. susypx

also worth bearing in mind that intolerances are very different to allergies (at least in my v ltd experience with my little one). She has a cows milk allergy - which is obvious as she comes out in hives/sick etc - but also i found out only when she was 2- she has a soya intolerance - that only manifested itself obviously after 2 weeks of soya yoghurts - before then was only having soya occasionally - but she didn't sleep properly until i cut soya out. So if you little one only has intolerances then an allergy test won't show it but it actualy seems to make them more uncomfortable as they don't throw it up/ get diarrohea. My daughter still on neocate at nearly 4. Loves it having had it from 5 months of age. She was also intolerant to beef - haven't tried her on that again yet. Have tried her recently on sheeps cheese but she got hives - was fine otherwise though - so even though she is still allergic (most children do seem to grow out of it by 1 year) - she is less highly allergic i assume. You sound a lot more positive. Well done for everything you are doing (and for standing up to the breast feeding mafia). You sound like you are such a fantastic mum. susypxx

we used baby bjorn chair - expensive- but my daughter used it until she was 2 1/2 ! susypx

also look at the thread on here about breastfeeding - bit of a bun fight by those of us who believe it really doesn't matter if you formula feed - even purely by choice. i still get upset by those whose babies are easy peasy and are smug about it - my sis in law sent me a thank you card for our present when her baby was 3 months and gleefully wrote in it how her son now slept through every night - i still resent her deeply for it! but there are plenty of people who have/are suffering like you - they just don't speak up about it so much - too exhausted! it will get much better, hang on in there, susypx

my daughter was same chronic reflux due to cows milk allergy - we gave her formula and she had immediate reaction - then we went for a private test to confirm (via gp) - cost ?120 then back into nhs system from then on. Me giving up dairy made no real difference- think they can often have other allergies / intolerances that you would never find out - but most of these disappear i think (or they did with us) - still got the cows milk one and soya intolerance (common to have both - soya is in everything !). it's the most exhausting thing in the world, and all around you are mothers having a lovely time (or so it seems), i know it can feel very lonely. lots of hugs xxx susypx

I don't think it's about being sensitive. It's about having a different point of view to you. Susypx

it is because most woman do want to breast feed, and try their very best to do so, but when it gets difficult, or is not suiting them for whatever reason, it is very very difficult emotionally and in terms of societal pressure to give up. And in the big scheme of parenting, whether or not you breast feed is really of the tiniest consequence. I really don't care whether anyone breast feeds or not but I object to the pressure that new mums are put under to make it work. Maybe most women don't do it for 6 months but most women (anectodally here) do do it for some of the time and therefore their babies do benefit. Be interested to know what the sliding scale is after that first month. susypx

true about the milk allergy but it would not have been diagnosed for even longer if i had carried on breast feeding - i just had a very unhappy, screaming baby, but no-one connected it to breast feeding. it only came to light when we tried her on formula. equally my breast cancer would not have been diagnosed had i carried on breast feeding. Of course these are special cases but ultimately the reason i would not do it again is basically for mental health - as helena handbasket says. also when i gave up the health visitor told me it was really the first month that counted - after that it is a sliding scale, and at 6 months it has barely any benefits at all. I haven't checked the validity of that but i have repeated it to friends/family who have been physically unable to breast feed after a few weeks and yet feel terrible. my sister could breast feed but her baby failed to put on weight for some reason (for several weeks) - and yet all her health visitors/midwives etc (who visited her daily) kept telling her to carry on. It was only family that persuaded her not to. Thus illustrating Helena handbasket's case that in some situations all the advice can make a situation worse. I do think bf is a lovely thing and i did enjoy it initially, but i wouldn't say it helped me bond - that happened when my daughter smiled at me, or laughed, not when she was feeding. It does work for many and i wouldn't want to put anyone off trying, but just not to sweat it if it doesn't feel right. Susypx

hellosailor you put into words far more articulately than i the issues that can sometimes be caused by breastfeeding. There is no point doing it if it isolates you and brings you near to pnd - i was the same and actually had no problems at all for the first 4 months apart from how often my daughter needed to feed and how it made me feel that i therefore couldn't leave the house (as well as being wrecked, physically). My point is that it does not matter which you give your baby - as long as you are doing it for the best outcome. If you are stressed , exhausted, miserable, then perhaps, it would be better for your baby to give formula. I really think the mother and baby's happiness is paramount. And it is hard to see the wood for the trees when you have tunnel vision over breastfeeding. I know I did, it took a health visitor to talk me into stopping to make me see the light. I had plenty of encouragement and help, but like hellosailor, I didn't enjoy it, I enjoyed the actual feeding, but I didn't enjoy how much it took over my life and my time . Once i gave it up - we both had a ball! And I am watching my sister have such a better first few months without the pressures of breastfeeding. I equally have seen it work for dozens of my friends - and good on them. However, were I to have another child, I would not breast feed. Just because I don't want to. And that does not make me a bad mother. Susypx

totally agree with sanne panne - my mum thought i was insane to breastfeed having seen what i went through ( had no problems until 4 months - was just the relentless of it and then the nights....). I ignored her, then my sister had a nightmare breast feeding and her baby lost weight - obviously choice really to switch - and i was singing the same tune as my mum - formula feeding is often a better option for the mother - it certainly would have been for me - happy mother = happy baby ! each to their own - lets just let people do what they want - it really doesn't matter if someone chooses to give formula rather than bf! Also comparing rates in rwanda to the uk is hardly realistic. Lots of things happen for women in this country that don't happen in other countries. We are very lucky in this country to be able to make our own choices. susypx

Could she be teething, I seem to remember back teeth coming in about this age ( could be wrong - was a while ago!). I had days like that and still do with a nearly 4 year old - it's a phase ! Susypx

Just wanted to post this for those of you with dairy allergic/intolerant little ones. I have just discovered a brand called Moo Free which does dairy and soya free chocolates - I have got some chocolate drops in waitrose but also amazon do them - enormous postage cost but it might be worth it for an easter egg - my daughter has never had one! The chocolate is really quite nice and quite realistic! And no soya (lots of children who can't eat dairy also can't eat soya). Susypx

Hi Beany I just wanted to send you a message of support as I think all the advice has been given here - and you sound like you are doing absolutely the right things anyway! My daughter started pushing other children over at 21 months - she continued it until 2/12 to the point where the only classes/groups I did with her were arty ones as she seemed to really calm down then - and they in turn were quiet environments. She is now 3 1/2 and started her school nursery last September. The 6 months prior to that she had largely stopped pushing but could still be very rough and push when angered. She also had a big problem when playing with children who couldn't vocalise as well as her. So I think a great deal if it was due to frustration. I was absolutely terrified about her starting school - the first two weeks she bit a couple of children - but not in anger - just towards the end (I now think it was due to hunger!) but thank goodness- now she is so well behaved - the teacher is so happy with her. It's almost as though it has given her more empathy as if we see a child in the playground playing up like that she will say - oh it's because they are 2 mummy! . She really is not rough, rude, bad tempered or any of those things, just a very sociable, excitable, enthusiastic, little one. But I went through hell for the year of the two year old and for a long time thought it was my own parenting. So wanted to send you a message to say - it is just a phase - some children just do this. But it is worse when it's a girl as people definitely judge you more! She will grow out of it . Hang on it there. Susypxxx

also couple of lovely national trust places - claremont gardens is in esher and polesdon lacy just on from bocketts farm (which is briliant by the way). susypx

I seriously would not cope without the distraction of TV, and I do think it makes me a better mother! Sometimes I just need time out. We watch about half an hour in the morning (while I have that first cup of tea!), and about half an hour in the evening before bed, but sometimes more a bit earlier if she comes home from school tired and grumpy. And quite often she watches a Disney film on a Friday evening or over the weekend - she is obsessed with princesses and this informs all of her play. She actually reads more because of the films as she constantly wants to read the books linked to them, which don;t have to be disney but she just loves the stories. She has been ill tons this winter too and has sometimes watched 2 films a day, which isn't good but what can you do when they're ill. Recently however, we've added cbeebies games on their website to the mix- and I am absolutely amazed how much better she is with the laptop mouse than I am - can draw amazing pictures and totally has the knack of it - I see it as early training for a career in graphic design as she is super arty - just another arty activity for her to take on board. I can leave her doing it for about 15 mins a couple of times a week. She goes to school every afternoon so I am less guilty and obsessed than I used to be about tv as I feel that she is getting lots of stimulation. Sometimes I just think she needs wind down time. She doesn't need it in the mornings but it takes me so long to wake up that it's a necessity for me! I didn't watch so much but then the programmes weren't so good - I was never allowed to watch Grange Hill before secondary school in case it made me scared to go! Wish we had Dangermouse - now that was a brilliant Cartoon. Susypx

yes think the childcare swap is a good idea, only problem is that obviously most others have siblings which works ok when they are younger but I would have thought older ones would get a little bored with two little ones running around. I just need to find the work now. Would be lovely just to have a couple of days in an office and then try and do some freelance stuff at home as well (problem is that I think everyone wants that!!). Thanks for suggestions. Susyx

I can't work out what to do when my daughter starts school in September. She is an only child and I really want to be there to pick her up every day / organise play dates etc. But how on earth can you work and be there for pick up? I am looking to try and work from home - I used to be a journalist so may try and place some features but I know this is incredibly difficult. Any tips and advice on how to build a career from home and be around for pick up would be amazing? Or, what child care options are there for after school? I am thinking particularly as my daughter gets older. There is an afterschool club nearby but I can;t see her wanting to do that after a full day at school, not for a few years anyway. What does everyone do? Susypx

GinaG3 how do you do it? I am way too extravagant on Ocado. My problem is I really want organic, it's my main extravangance in life really. And how does my supermarket work - can you do a shop then it just tells you which is cheapest? I just tried a little but it seemed really slow. Do you spend a long time doing your shopping or does it get quicker as you get more expert? I love Ocado as it's so quick and easy (and we have a annual delivery pass) but a quick look did seem to indicate that even Tesco is A LOT cheaper. Neither of us are working at present with no sign of anything coming in so I think I am going to have to curtail my spending a bit. But I do still want organic + free range stuff. And I just can't spend ages doing it it would drive me demented. Susypx

I too weekly food plan and shop online (but as and when I need it), wash adhoc (there are only 3 of us!), but was very proud that last week I FINALLY felt like I had got the entire house clean. Not yet organised house but we are having final building work starting soon so hoping to solve some storage issues then. Also then will have a dishwasher which will change my life (and my hands). My daughter started nursery at her school last September so I have 3 hours free every afternoon which is helping me enormously, she was an incredibly difficult baby (I now realise after seeing people with new babies which are entirely different to how my daughter was!) - so for years I just thought I was hopeless mother (and housewife - but care less about that!). I don't know how those of you with babies at home manage to be so organised! I couldn't cope without food planning, everything was total chaos before I thought of that. I have a big calender thing with pockets too which is helping reduce the lists and clutter on my kitchen side. Useful tip about laying everything out the night before - with my daughter at afternoon nursery we are usually still in pjs at half past 9 and I was starting to wonder how I could possibly get her to school on time come September - pathetic really! Susypx

my daughter had this when she was 18 months. I think they said it was gastric flu. It was terrible so I feel for you - she was desperate for water and drank beaker after beaker (learnt to say "more" during this period) - but she threw it all straight back up - and was doubling over in pain with cramps. We still remember it as one of the worst illnesses. It probably only lasted about 8 or 9 hours at this level though. I find NHS Direct brilliant and often hospitals have out of hours GP services they refer you too which saves going to A&E. Susypx

my daughter has just had a cough thing and vomited a lot but she tends to anyway with a cough - did in a car with a friend and her mum quite spectacularly however - which meant entire class then thought she had vomiting bug and gave me odd looks when we waltzed in 2 days later. She never actually seemed to feel ill. Perhaps, it was actually a vomit bug. Oops. My husband and I have had the cough and my Dad has had it for 2 weeks very very badly. It took a weird turn with me last week when I felt sick all week and one night had proper full on fever - not had that since I was a kid. Now the temp has gone but my cough has got worse again. Sounds like the same thing is going round everyone in different formations. Does make me feel a bit better. I just thought I was really suffering this winter and feeling pathetic about my immune system. hope everyone feels better soon! Susypx Oh and yes the big thing with me has been tiredness , unbelievably tired - been going to bed in day when I have hubby around and at 7pm with my daughter. Rubbish. Roll on spring..

Another holiday thread here....After seemingly back to back colds and flu this winter, I am desperate for a holiday somewhere warm(ish), probably in early March. I have a 3 year old who is dairy allergic so would definitely find it easier to be self catering. Was thinking Canaries or Spain but have no idea where to start on booking an apartment, so any recommendations gratefully received !! I did look at Eurocamp but most of the camps seem to be booked up or not near a beach, and I do like a beach holiday! Susypx

pickle i've just signed up to graze having read your post - i sit at home while my daughter is in nursery eating aboslute rubbish - it looks fantastic. a friend of mine got bought one of those home delivery all your meals services by her sister - the type the celebs get - was amazing - woke up every morning to find breakfast lunch dinner and snacks on her doorstep. Sadly a bit out of my price range my sister got a home cooked lentil casserole - one off! susypx