sillywoman

can you post a link to it e-dealer? Thanks

I thought I'd be able to use a buggy board when number 1 was about 2 1/2 (number two being 18 months younger) as she really liked walking, but she was much too young. At that age she still needed to be able to rest and doze in the pushchair occasionally. It was more like 3 or 3 1/2 before I could use it in way similar to you describe. Sorry not to be more positive, and have nothing else really to add to the debate other than; the little ones I've seen sitting in the bottom of the P&T's, whilst admittedly seeming close to the ground, also look very content & happy.

Got no best places now, sorry. I hear that the roads round Ruskin park are all 'resident only' now - they were my good place. Bah-humbug.

In fact, get everything ready & then get your partner to pack the bag. It reduces the "are you sure you packed xyz??" factor. Also make sure you've decided what clothes you'll be wearing to go home in and put them in a separate carrier bag somewhere (probably, but not definitely, still maternity jeans for a few weeks post birth). I know a couple of women who've spent longer in hospital than they anticipated, and when asked to bring in clothes for them to go home in partners have bought their size 10 jeans, and (with one friend) a skull & crossbones T-shirt from her heavy metal youth. It just wasn't what she wanted to take the baby home in! So, if it matters to you - plan ahead!

Been working away hence no replies to posts, sorry. Great debate re home v hospital, don't have anything to add as you all seem to have covered pretty much everything I would've like d to say. HH - yes, you're right. I probably was defensive in my reply to Buggie and Annaj. I felt my views were misread and therefor being represented and as I said previously my line of work means I couldn't allow that to happen. I had to clarify my position (as annaj has done above) and defend myself. So again, just for the sake of clarity; I think that the Albany have done really good work in our community for the last however many years. I'm very sad for them and the many women they care for that they've been suspended from offering the care they're reknown for. However I do recognise the importance of accountability and think it's right that they be able to account for whatever actions have got them suspended. And I really hope that they can. I would also hope never to be, or viewed as being cavalier with regard to the preciousness of any life, be it tiny baby or old,old person. I have no particular strength of feeling about holistic or medical viewpoints, both seem to have strengths and weaknesses to their arguments. With regard to home v hospital it has to be an individual choice based on whatever information is available to those individuals at the time. In an ideal world then women and their partners would be given, as annaj says, "full information", but I can't see this ever happening because the information available is so complex, and so many different interpretations and complexions are placed on it that the "truth" becomes an elusive substance. So women/ couples must get what information they can and make their choice based on that. As an aside, I've just had an email that informed me that, according to recent research, the Trusts in the UK with the first and second most choice available for women regarding place of birth was Southwark PCT and Lewisham PCT. I think we're really very lucky to live here.

Ah well annaj, you say tomato, I say tomato and so on. It's easy to misinterpret without the aid of body language and voice tone for interpretation. These forums are famous for it. Apology accepted and I'll let it go too.

They are worth doing. they are run by the lovely Sue and Pat, they really know their onions, and it's interesting to get the information from a different angle. They pretty much cover the same topics as the NCT ones, it's just that you get a bit more time and tailoring with the NCT ones as they have smaller groups. But I would say , yes - definitely worth going to.

Mmmm, I agree mostly with the content of what you both say, and (buggie) I have no problem with the practice of any health provider being closely monitored - I don't recall saying that I did?, I find both your responses aggressively defensive in tone. I do understand and agree with the need for scrutiny - I don't think I said that I disagreed with it? Though I can see that if my post was read by someone in defensive frame of mind they could choose to infer that. In attitude I'm very far from anti-doctor or medicine, where either, or both, are needed, but I do think there is an inherent danger in trusting completely to the medical establishment for judgments. The American childbirth model lies at the end of that path. We all know that in reality decisions about what's acceptable and what isn't often come down to the attitudes of a 'few good men' (or women). In that sense decisions regarding public services are always about 'grey men', it's naive to deny that. The Albany have always practiced slightly outside the bounds of convention, rather like South London's version of Ina May's Farm', and up to now they have been successful in what they do. I can't know the fine details of this suspension, but I would prefer if you didn't infer from my support for them and their difficult situation that I'm a doctor-hating radical with a determination to trivialise the issues this raises. This is far from the truth and you misrepresent me if you do that. In my line of work my attitudes to the medical establishment often come under close scrutiny, I strive to be balanced and rational whilst encompassing a broader world view. I cannot afford to allow either of you to use the lens of your own attitudes to skew the content of my post thereby suggesting views that were never expressed or held by me.

Have learned a little more. It's not to do with that. It's to do with their stats on new babies having to spend time in SCBU. Apparently their stats in this area are higher than other group practices so they are being investigated. Hence the suspension. Of course this is all anecdotal & could be talking b*$^**cks, but the source is pretty reliable. It's so rubbish though, they're such a great and dedicated group of midwives, South London has always been so lucky to have them working here. And they take on many women who want a homebirth but who may be considered in a higher risk category (e.g. VBAC's etc) so of course their statistics will be skewed by this. Ho-hum, I sense little grey men at work. I can only hope that their practice will come through the scrutiny with flying colours and that the greymen will be able to see the wider benefit of the work these fab midwives do.

minder Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Only just seen this thread so just commenting. > > Otto - oh dear, you have said it! "On the state > side, I've heard good things about Charter, but, > it will not be anything near the caliber of a > private education". By the way, caliber is spelt > calibre over here. I know a lot of words are > spelt differently in the States but just pointing > it out. > > I can't believe you've not been challenged over > such an elitist remark. > >Yeah minder, I spotted it, but thought it said more about the poster's attitude than The Charter's credibility so let it lie. I'm guessing others felt the same? My experience at The Charter so far is similar to yours. My very academic year 9 daughter (age 13), and her friends are being challenged, but not overwhelmed (they're doing Latin - Woohoo!). Meanwhile my up to now totally unacademic yr 8 boy (age 12) has been so encouraged that he's found himself this year in the top maths and science sets for the first time in his life. the best thing about the school though is the social mix. My daughters friend from primary who went to private schools are mixing with very different social groups, placing very different expectations on both them and the parents. Expectations we couldn't hope to meet. The Charter was the right place for us, if I was applying for schools now I'd be really torn as to whether to put Charter or Kingsdale down as a 1st choice though. they're both really good.

I was told by a neighbour today that The Albany Group of Midwives have been suspended from practicing home-births and are undergoing some kind of investigation. Can anyone verify this, or shed any light at all? if it's true it may have some knock on consequences for Mums registered with other local teams as Brierly, the Lanes etc. may have to pick up some of the albany's planned homebirths.

The Nappy Lady Wrote: - > > I say focus on the bits of yourself that you do > like, write them down if you have to on post it > notes and stick 'em around the mirror and go with > the flow. > Hmmm, what if the only bits you like are your fingers?

sandy_rose Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > My friend has had two bad experiences at Kings, > the second time was by far the worst. They were > basically full when she arrived, so she had to > give birth on a desk in a back office (the desk > wasn't even long enough for her to lay flat - and > she's tiny!), midwife nowhere to be seen. > > Hmmm, it would be interesting to know the full details of this story, I hear it often. TBH, though I know it does occasionally happen, if as many women were having babies unattended in back offices as I hear about then I think Kings would be closed down by the Health commission by now! Anyhow, if it did happen in the way your friend described, it might be worth throwing into the mix the reasons why your friend was in an office. Kings have an open door policy. Unlike many of the other hospitals they won't turn away any woman in labour, no matter how full they are - even if they only have an office available whilst they are waiting for a room. If your friend had gone to St Thomas', for example, and all their rooms had been full they would have turned her away. Her labour must have progressed very quickly if there was no time for a midwife to be present, so with that information, in the St Thomas' scenario she way well have given birth on the Southbank! It may just put a different complexion on the story? For more information check out the latest detailed statistics on www.birthchoice.com(?). They can be a really useful comparison tool. Lastly, as Ann points out, if you can't get with a group practice all is not lost. The kings midwives are lovely, and if you know what you want/ don't want, & have a well informed & supportive birth partner with you then you'll do just fine.

Keep trying sandy_rose, please also try Oakwood. I know of a woman who is going to be with Albany, but only because she registered with Oakwook, they didn't have space for her so passed her details to the Albany waiting list & a place came up. Don't be put off if they say they can't take you. Ask to go on waiting lists and summon up some tears if you can. that way they remember you & you may be top of their "poor lady" list when a place comes up (I'm sure there is a much fairer system than this in place, but the cynic in me also thinks that it may work that way & it can do no harm!). You may need to be politely persistent. Good Luck.

Just to add, what makes the most difference to your experience is the midwives you have in labour & afterwards. As pickle & gubodge (love those names) say; The Lanes midwives are some of the best around, but also consider booking with The Albany @ Peckham Pulse (internationally admired and copied), Oakwood @ Forest Hill Practice, or The Brierly group @ ED Hospital. Any of those teams will see you right. Get in quick though.

Another happy Kings Mum, 4 times. Twice in the hospital & twice at home with their community midwives. You'll always hear horror stories 'cause people love to tell 'em. The (many) straightforward labours have little or no drama to them (apart form the obvious - hey, a new person!!!) so people don't repeat them so often, nor with such salacious glee. Kings & their midwives are fab, & I've heard on the grapevine that they may be getting a small midwife led unit in the spring next year - something like St T's home-from-home perhaps?

Mmmm, yes a very interesting thread. Has really set me thinking. I was much more disciplinarian that I am now, but what SteveT said about controlling with a growl or withering look is exactly what I can do. I wonder if this is because I was stricter when they were younger, so I still have the ultimate control when I need it? Me and Mr SW are definitely of the 'we're your parents not your friends' school of thought and I think that stands us in good stead now when we have to occasionally make unpopular decisions for the greater good of a child or the family as a whole. Over the years at playgroups and in the school playground I have observed that the loveliest, most gentle Mums (can't comment on Dads) tend to have the brattiest, most obnoxious, worst mannered children. This seems to be down to their inability to do the 'stern voice & stern eye' thing with anything approaching conviction. However I tell myself that their children will probably grow to be the most delightful adults due to the good example set by their mild mannered parents, whereas mine will grow to be screaming harridans who need years of therapy. Actually I've resigned myself to my kids need for years of therapy 'cause of my crap parenting. I take heart from the fact that I'm not alone, as the immortal words of Philip Larkin show . . . . .

Oh Fuschia, you poor Love. An abscess is nasty, really nasty. Two is doubly nasty. A dear friend had one, like you it came out of the blue and she was quite poorly with it, and like you hospitalised. I'm afraid that you may have to spend a night or so in hospital depending on how they respond to the antibiotics. And they may well advise you that you can't BF for a short while while your body heals. If they're on one side only you may be able to feed from the other side, I guess just see what they say. I think abscesses are caused by undiagnosed mastitis developing unchecked, but I'm not certain? However they happen the are a serious complaint and I'm so glad that you're going to Kings. I'm sending you as much love, and as many positive thoughts as I can. SW

Agree with the comment about it depending on age. When my two biggest were tinies I was the disciplinarian, and there were times when I resented always being the 'bad guy' and it caused a bit of friction. Interestingly, now they're adolescents our roles have shifted. Sensibleman is much more rigid than I am, I am too lax, mainly due to laziness it has to be said, so now he's the baddie and has had to ask me to up my game and back him up on occasion. Also having a number of children has made me much more tolerant and libertarian than I was. I don't sweat the small stuff so much, and just hope the littlies learn from the good (:-S) example of the biggies. Maybe there's also an element of 'I put in all the work early on so now I'm going to sit back and enjoy them', 'cos they are good kids, even if I do say so myself! Plus ca change I guess . . .

Thanks Cath. Iaineasy - tried that, nothing doing, the man is serious!

Due to violent adverse response from really, really grumpy husband I won't be able to have Cath's adorable cat. I am gutted, daughter is in tears and Cath is back in a tricky situation. Is there anyone else who might consider fostering her for a few months?

Whip the little blighters . . . .Oooh sorry, came over all SteveT for a moment.

Not if Alleyns' consistently apathetic response is anything to judge by. 14 years of phone calls and written complaints: result? A shed load of fobbing off & an increase in the parking problem as a direct result of school action. But I know, I know - that's another thread & has been done to death already on this forum. Bitter, moi? Anyway, I wish you better Luck with Goodrich and St A's.

. . .and what do yellow-ish and blue-ish mixed together make??? . . .

Have you been eating green playdough Lorraine?;-) One of my babies' had green pooh which alarmed me for a while 'til I worked out the cause - could this be related?!!