KalamityKel

*sighs at used goods*

And it's not just the men either! Come on it's all well and good to blame men but there are a good number of female, oh wots the word I'm looking for... you know... such disgraceful behaviour! ;-)

That's a very fair point Keef darn I miss being a kid at times! ;-)

FelicityNormal Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > One of these trouser-dropping individuals has > given a local woman a serious STD. Allegedly this > man is very aggressive in his approach and has > shagged several other local women recently, > despite being married. He has tried it on with me > but I did not succumb yet - and with what I now > know, I will never succumb. It is not clear > whether he is deliberately spreading his STD or > whether he is just reckless as to who he gives it > to. It is said he claims he no longer shags his > wife (which may be true). > > In the course of my 'investigatins' I have also > stumbled across several other randy local > shopkeepers who are also married and also shagging > for England. Some local women are not able to > even enter certain ED establishments unless > accompanied by a male friend, otherwise there > rogering shopkeepers will ooze into lecherous > overdrive. > Doesn't sound like anything new to me :-|

50p would b a stretch to by a curly wurly these days :-|

I really am NOT a man ya know :p KK are you dressed as Santa? I've heard of sighting in the ED area...

For LPs benefit no I am not Kolley Kibber tyvm!

How so?

Hahahahahaha nooo not at all my dear twas just expressing my sadness I wont be in your presence :'(

grind

Miles Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Count me in. I'm out :'( (again)

and what exactly are you doing with your time this morning tony me dear?

IT'S AN EGG!

30 somethings :p

My cat eats tomatoes... same thing?

Ah but not always... :-$

Massage

I can't say I have EVER come across such an exaggeration before no... my ruler doesn't have that many cms on it! lol

is it still measured in yards these days?

Darn it now ya gawn and made me spill me lemonade all over me computer - time to move desks *avoids LPs comp* mefinks

Now now LP how many times... not THAT hole! :p :)-D

Michael Palaeologus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Garmin for me. Tom-Tom sales have taken a hit of > late apparently, > Probably due to the number of fatalities... yes really just drive straight through that old ladies house and out onto the motorway on the other side...

Guess that's better than going commando - especially in this weather! brrrr

*cries tears of laughter!*

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends ?15k and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops to buy a paper. Before leaving, she says to the man, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," is the reply. "No - I'm exactly 50!" the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonalds and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "About 29?" The woman replies with a big smile, "No, I'm 50!" Now she's feeling really good. She stops at Boots on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the man the same question. He responds, "Oh, I'd say around 30?" Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!" While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, "Well, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a guaranteed way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are." They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and then gently pinches each nipple. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "OK OK....How old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says: "Madam, you are......50!" Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible - how could you tell?" The old man says, "I was behind you at McDonalds."