dulwichmum

Oh dear! DM

Do you make your own socks with a ball of 2.0 vicryl and an amnihook? They really look stunning. DM

Yes for sure. He only uses it for stag parties - I hope... That is when they all get their handbags out. Now tell me this is all husbands? Please someone tell me...

Dear Batdog, Mr Mockney is telling you that I go to the Catholic Church - but you knew that already didn't you dear heart? You are back again dear one? By the way, you are very welcome Hayleyhaye. DMx

Stands up from comfy aubergine velvet armchair - walks over to BarryRoad, places a big kiss on his/her nose, sits back down in special chair. Feeling happy again... Takes photo of husbands single attractive college friend out of enormous handbag - passes photo to Bagpuss78 for inspection. Writes warning on 'Post it' note; "this type of man likes to dress as a woman on occasion and get blind drunk - but hey, so do I!"

Mr Batdog sweetie, if you find my white bikini tempting, I can lend it to you anytime if you would like to try it on! DM

Darling Mr MacGabhann, You see I open a bottle of wine religiously at approx 6pm each evening (weekend - 7pm weekdays) and so by the time I posted the above - I was already half .... cut! My spelling and rational self go right out the window at that point! Bagpuss78 is indeed a fox, I blame her neighbours. DM

Darling Mr McGabhann, I could see that you were spoken for at the forum drink, but as you are so devilishly handsome you must instruct your lady friend to marry you immediately in order to send the appropriate message to all of the bar maids of East Dulwich forthwith! Your fond admirer... DM

Darling Mr McGabhann, We know you are not a lech. Didn't you arrive at the forum drinks with an attractive lady on your arm? Are you simply a confirmed bachelor? DM

A pint of gin Mr Ant? Bagpus78 has already drunk a pint of gin, and really shouldn't mix her drinks... DM

Ah Bagpuss, you poor darling. Here share this bucket of gin with me... DM

Dear Haylehay, Do you not find that you get splatters of meconium stained liquor in between your toes through the holes in your Crocs? DM

Passes bag of frozen peas to Bagpuss78 to place on head. Empathises as we have both been injured in quiet room over last few days. Sighs as remembers Mr Dulwichmum is away watching cricket - decides to pop over to Majestic wines in search of a treat for later this evening... Smiles to self, as remembers the man in Majestic wines is rather a dish. Passes mobile phone photo to Bagpuss78 for opinion (photo procured in a stalkerish manner earlier in the day...)

Dear Haylehaye, Why not Mr Crystal? He is a wonderful specimen. Not only is he handsome, but he is highly intelligent and has a sharp wit! DM

Dear Townleygreen, What a terrible thought! I remember being pre-occupied by that thought as a teenager in the 80's. I couldn't bear to go back to that. Every day when my husband goes to work I hope to God there are is no more terrorism in London, losing a parent can destroy the lives of those left behind. Maybe I am being superficial here (as usual), but if this stuff is going to happen, I am not going to waste the time we have in lovely Dulwich worrying about it. DM

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Quick, evacuate the forum. The Hillcourt gang have returned! DM

Oh look! It is Tweedle Dum, and Tweedle Dee - the killers from Hillcourt Road! DM

Darling Dulwich Dad, Are you making fun of me sweetie? I happen to know my husband is drunk and lying in a state of complete exhaustion in a hotel bedroom in Barbados! I am intrigued... DM

I like the idea of the cheesecake that Keef brought back from his recent trip!

I like to change my hair colour regularly darling Keef - to keep my man interested. Although I must admit I had this painted last summer! DM

Well if James had not been on a plane from Japan to Barbados for most of today I would have thought so too! DM

Darling Dulwich Dad, You do sound like a dish! Do you per chance have a blog I could read? DM

Dear Ant and Keef, you make me feel good after a hard day at the beauty shop. It should reassure James that I am investing his money wisely... http://www.jason-brooks.com/images/home2/beach.gif

Thanks Bagpuss and texts Ana to bring wheelchair to assist with trip home from Quiet Room...

Tries to stand up, unable to move bottom half of body since earlier mishap on the Twister mat. Smiles in agony at Keef. Shakes fist at Bagpuss78, thinks to self - you too will be as old as me one day ;-). DM