bigbadwolf

A waterbed? Hmmmmm............I suffer from sea sickness.

I'll be hiding underneath it Kel and when you're asleep I'll come out from under it and gently stroke your hair whilst you sleep while I play with matches. Sweet dreams.

Danger! Unexploded ordnance in this area.

CCTV operating in this area.

I bumped into Georgia earlier today. Very nice woman who has lovely soft hands.

Your getting a lot better at this Mike. Are your children helping you out?

I was once so poor I had to jack the dog off to feed the cat.

Instead of giving me a handjob last night my girlfriend used her key ring instead. Felt like I was being fobbed off.

Stop talking full stop.

My Grandad wore bell bottoms when he was in the Royal Navy, does that count?

I don't like that either Jah, so fake.

Yes.

I have to confess David that's the first time I've seen it.

Dear Tony I was thrilled to receive your long awaited letter but to be honest your name rarely pops up in conversation after the 'incident' that happened all those years ago. I'm sorry to say that Alison got married about ten years ago and lives with an accountant in Scunthorpe but she says she's happy so please don't go and start upsetting things for her. I hope things go well for you at the skills centre but I should imagine it's not touch on the prison workshop but on the upside I'm sure it'll be very refreshing to handle sharp objects again. We now have a chest of draws.

I'd place very strong emphasis on 'almost' David.

Remember these arseholes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UY_mPrjHQyY&feature=related One of the upsides of the credit crunch is that these shysters don't pop up on T.V any more.

Or 'may contain bollocks'.

Well spotted Mike. Now try saying that backwards.

I can do both Rosie, at half the price.

No, try harder.

You sound more like Del boy every day.

It's 'imbesilic'. Please don't use the word twonk as there are more colourful expressions that even your limited vocabulary can handle.

So if you want a compendium of back issue Ikea catalogues then get in touch.