bigbadwolf

Right, apart from petty annoyance this combined hatred of two things is highly justified and I think a lot of you will agree. Road safety. I'm not picking on the motorist here as my rage is directed against the pedestrian. I don't drive a car but I ride a motorbike and over the years I've noticed how gormless today's pedestrian is becoming in their attitude to crossing the road. Do they still teach road safety in schools today as I was taught to look left, look right and at a busy junction look behind you. Today people just step out into the road causing me to hit the brakes hard and for those of you who know doing this on two wheels and 30-40 mph is a whole different ball game to 4 wheels and it scares you senseless. Do you know what often causes this lax attitude to life and death? The I-POD I can't stand these things. When the listener is 'plugged in' they're automatically cut off from the world around them where fast moving vehicles cease to exist. Don't get me started when they hold up the queue at the ticket barrier on the tube because they're 'shuffling'. Another reason I can't stand these digital attachments is that in my line of work the make the situation all the more difficult. Before the whole credit crunch hit I and a lot of the foremen were getting pissed off at this so we held a mock fire drill. I'd say about 25% of the work force heard the claxon and air raid siren and when we went around the site asking people why they hadn't left the building guess their reply? "what, I was on my pod". "No young man you were in a different universe and it quite clearly states on your induction they're banned, get your belongings out get off this site and find someone else to work for". That may seem petty and harsh in my campaign against the pod but it's a dangerous enviroment enough already without having a bunch of zombies there as well. Rant over. Entirely with you on the buffering Pinky.

Well at least you took the time to reply to such a soul searching question Tony. Now, I like most other males have a special type of 'bank' that we like to store involuntary intimate images for future 'encouragement' or just personal appreciation of the fairer and more unpredictable sex and I for one have been making regular deposits recently. Now I'm not going to bore you with all the details but one such deposit has been neither accumulating or loosing interest. Now I'm not going to mention her name as I wouldn't want to sully the image of woman of such caliber with my torrid imagination who coincidentally was instrumental in winning the Gurkhas full rights to remain in the U.K. Why you may ask, well I'll tell you why. Apart from the fact that at 63 the woman has 'still got it' it's her velvet voice that felt like a rich and expensive elixir being poured over such a scandalous affair. I'm sorry but there's just something about her that turns the head of this 25 year old.

It might just be me but I always saw a striking resemblance in Jonathon Ross and Silvio, there suits were equally disastrous.

Time to go to bed now, sweet dreams.

Back the day it was sweeter than toffee and King Henry VIII sold weed to make coffee Good high grade though not everyones got it exept it was only his wives who shot it Most men have a medium grade, easily weighed, homegrown but it's not high grade Back in the days an eigth was buff, but now there aint enough, to go right round London town Now I was cruisin the street on my jacks and who should I come across but Keef and Jah Hello Mr Wolf have you got any gear? Course I have lads just step right here. Whilst Jah reached into pocket I caught sight of the cuffs, "what the f... you sweeney todd" That'll teach ya you mouthy sod, "but keef, you don't understand" shut yer snout wolf and get in van Well if all truth be told I was not impressed but the fact remained that I was under arrest When I got to the station a demanded my call "DM I need just one last favour thats all" "Well Mr Wolf you are in a jam but don't fret dearheart I'll do all what I can" By the time my brief arrived I dun got bail and started pushing highgrade via the email I did that all by myself unlike you copycats.

Wham bars are still readily available at most corner shops. Liquorice torpedos. Pear drops. Anacede balls What I also miss that I'm not that young to remember is when sweets were withdrawn from a large glass jar with a metal trowel, measured in imperial weight and placed in brown paper bag. Nowadays they are savagely scooped from a plastic tub by a knuckle dragging mouthbreather who along with the state of their hands would make even Nigella gasp and on my last trip to the 'mini mart' the cashier had human flesh between his teeth!

Yes I do. A stiff piling work to 'keep her upright'.

Good to have you back and all that Ted but could we have a couple rib splitters before you carry on with your poetry posts please.

Hmmmmmm......well thanks for refreshing this Tony, very good and proper. Lets have a look at things shall we. I'd like to put *Bob* at the top of the list but he's been suspiciously absent of late hasn't he. Ted Max is getting ever more distant yet his random yet delightful interjections always deliver promise. Snorky has been good I'll admit. HonaloochieB is a very versatile and witty forumite in his own right but therein lies the problem, sometimes some of us youngsters struggle to figure out what on earth he's on about but the silver lining in that cloud is that when we do figure out what he's talking about it becomes all the more funny beecause we can award ourselves a great big pat on the back for working it out. He is also a regular forumite. So for me the list goes 1. HonaloochieB 2. Snorky 3. Brendan. Now it's true that Brendan has been absent of late but I'm awarding him the bronze medal because of his post in housemates from hell today. The majority was pretty mild but as soon as I hit 'Humphrey the houseplant' I nearly fell off my chair laughing. Another I'd like to mention is Mikecg. Now I know I often pick on his spelling but of late he's been biteing back with tenacity and he's also started to really 'put the work in' regarding the humour content of his posts. I'm not saying he should be in the top three but you know.......credit where credits due an all that. Now on to the more painful subject of Dulwichmum. I fear the blame of Dulwichmums prolonged absence lies solely at my door. You see, Dulwichmum truly yet quite wrongly doesn't like smut. During my ban a great deal of smutty inuendo has been building up in my admittedly filthy mind and as soon as my ban was lifted I started heamoraging vile and senseless posts that fell on the deaf ears of our most priviliged forumite who made her disdain quite public after which I sat in the darkest corner of my den, drew my knees up against my chin and cried for 40 day and 40 nights, sort off. Now I for one will quite openly say I wont censor myself for censorship sake but I fear if I carry on at my normal pace we'll loose one of our greatest assets and I for one would be very upset. So I must take an oath to try and steer things back in the right direction. "I bigbadwolf, boss of the wild wood and leader of the pack do hereby formally promise that I shall never use a swear word again on the east dulwich forum". I will however still be rude and ocassionally smutty of course but if that's what it takes to keep her on board then I'm happy to make the sacrifice.

Whilst we're still on a subject I'd also like to make another observation. This may come as a shock to the ladies on the forum but when us lads walk past a woman who is jogging we also take this delightful opportunity to have a quick peek at her bum. Although this can appear cheeky or down right rude by some it is innocently explained away by the fact that we a merely grading the progress of the athletes improving physical shape. Sometimes you'll have a quick peek and be greeted by something which looks to be still 'under construction' whilst other times it may simply be a case of 'ongoig maintenance'. Sometimes however on those beautiful heady days of mid summer you'll be taking a stroll and you'll note a nubile looking young lady jogging towards you and on quick inspection of her bum you'll find yourself in the position whereby you can apply the more flattering term of 'mortgage approved'.

Yes alright I edited it, shoot me!

bigbadwolf Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Or Mikecg's spelling. Can you picture the headlines? I'll help you through it. BREAKING NEWS!!! Today history was made as the first man in history has been arrested on the charge of poor spelling. Today police officers of the Met's newly formed grammar unit arrested a man in south east London and also seized his computer. Sentencing was swift as the judge took no pleasure in handing the defendant a copy of lines to be copied 5000 times and if done incorectly he would have to do them all over again. The defendant has reportedly made an appeal to the courts of human justice but it was rejected on the grounds that they couldn't make head or tail of what he was on about. Senior detectives some with over 30 years on the job spoke of the utter barbarity in which the defendant had abused our rich and diverse language. Speaking outside of court detective inspector Wolf played down claims that the law lords were thinking of imposing custodial sentences on these scum. "No we wont be reverting back to the days of the spelling Nazi's who followed a policy of mass extermination as that would be a step back in the ongoing crusade against thickies", "what we want to do is rehabilitate them back into intelligent society through a structured programme of Fuzz buzz and Biff n Chips books not label them as outsiders". "I'm also very glad that operation Typo was a complete success and congratulate my officers in their dedication of my new units baptism of fire case". A woman who goes by the name KalamityKel was also taken into custody in relation to the charges above but was later released as she'd only been using text speak in which the only person who is harmed is the person who uses it.

Or Mikecg's spelling.

Hmmmm........interesting. I think HBO would've done whole 'younger, earning his spurs' Tony better if they'd payed a bit more attention to this angle in the series such as flashbacks or when he was in a coma instead of the Buddhist monks nonsense.

It was called Dasani.

Does anyone remember that daft attempt by Coca Cola to introduce there own brand/type of water which flopped in it's footsteps and eventually withdrawn amid fears that it contained carcinogens but I think the powers that be were more worried that they'd try and bring out their own brand of earth, wind and fire.

I personally have always lusted after this 'lyrically fit and verbally equipped' wordsmith ever sine I joined the east dulwich forum. I'm not sure if you noticed but I once paid a pilot of a small prop plane to write in the sky his exhaust trail " I love honaloochieB and want his babies. Glad I got that off my chest.

keef and Annasfield(because I simply couldn't help myself)

This is a shared suggestion for Mick Mac and Wee quinnie since they're both Paddy's from 'narth o da barda'.

He didn't even mention the mighty Viz either which I started reading in my early teens which says a lot about me I suppose.

Moos Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Sorry BBW, I'm getting 'this video is not > available in your country'... > > Off to make a crow blush now. No problem my end (forest hill) but so you know, it's 'here's where the story ends' by the Sundays.

David Carnell (mainly because Gordon Downie says at the beginning the song has moral complexity)

Moos Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Don't get Rosie's, BBW? > > I typed BBQ by mistake then... hmm, summer must be > coming. Yeah you're right Moos. I didn't means to add that that one, all sorted out now, hope you like it RosieH.

Which would be a shame as I'd hate to see the image of the Soprano's sullied with the same meddling as Only fools and horses and Green green grass which was frankly embarrassing to watch.

I think my favourite scene with him was when they're discussing another member of the crew's alarming weight loss and Silvio raised the possibility that it could be the wasting symptom of the AID's virus. Whilst they loudly raise and question each others reaction to this insight Paulie is then seen vigorously washing his hands whilst looking sternly into the mirror as he was the last one to shake hands with the man in question.