bigbadwolf

I never found Drunken Bakers funny. I understand the undertones of the pitifully destructive spiral of alcoholism, and that is indeed dark, but I just find it a bit too repetitive. Fat Slags is pretty gash but occasionally has it's moments. I also really like the artwork and spoof advertising. I find letterbocks pretty lame these days.

Just a few souvenirs from mine and Jahs jaunt around the African bush. http://msnbcmedia1.msn.com/j/ap/310a0ff4-cbbc-4167-88c5-2a24be0db2ce.h2.jpg

Or the holiday snaps of when we went Seal clubbing.

Yeah come on Jah, have a heart. Show us the one where they demonstrate the destructive power of hollow point ammunition on Penguins.

Well done RD but is Padme Lakshmi really a chef even though she's really fit. Aside from that. How could we forget possibly the most annoying chef of all time and lore. Remember when channel 5 was launched and we had to put up with the one and only Nancy Lam. http://www.nancylam.com/nancy/images/c5.jpg I rest my case.

Yes,it was shocking. Anyway, apart from that... What's the most shocking thing you've discovered about neighbours (not friends), who you thought you knew?

Taking the dog out for a woodbine?

O.K. 101 Damnations?

Fair enough, but surely Schindlers List would've been a far more appropriate feature considering the circumstances.

You could've just said that they were smoking 30 cigarettes a day for medical research and that the one on the left was off to join all it's brothers and sisters in the furnace.

"Complete and utter bollocks of course. I just haven't read it for about ten years." Only a true Viz reader could've put it into such abstract eloquence.

I don't know but the pooch on the far left looks like he's missing out on something.

Before HonaloochieB, another esteemed Viz reader of a similar (if not higher) caliber to myself, get's back from work. Over the last few years Viz has really become a bit too hit and miss. You usually get about 2 magazines out of 5 that really beat you up and through you about the room. I wish to god that they'd get rid of all the ringtone and weed seed adverts.

Everyone knows that if you ask someone who their favourite character/strip and they say Fat Slags, then it's pretty obvious that they've never read the almighty Viz. Mine are as follow. Jack Black. Eight Ace. Biffa Bacon. Black Bag the faithful border binliner. Major Misunderstanding. Busta Gonads and his unfeasably large testicles. Skinhead. Tales of urban strife. Raffles. Farmer Palmer. Big Vern. Cockney W_nker. Fru T.Bunn. Tasha slapper's Mum. Tasha slapper. Rat Boy. The modern parents. Mrs Brady old lady. Sid the sexist. Spoilt bastard. Victorian Dad.

"I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Kenyan refugees, I write award-winning operas, and manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I had trials with Manchester United Football Club and am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics Worldwide swoon over my original line of Corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have appeared on ?Through the Keyhole? and won the Nobel Peace prize. Last summer I toured Eastern Europe with a travelling centrifugal-force demonstration. I run the 100m in 9.65 seconds. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on holiday in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only some vegetables and a Breville toaster. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in Madrid, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and chess competitions at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis but I have never been to Bluewater." A good touch up of Hugh Gallagher's application to the University of New York Jah. You nearly had me.

The Boers smoked pipes didn't they?

I thought all chefs smoke, well, French chefs do anyway.

Answering Ted Max. Richard Littlejohn?

Frank Butcher or the ghost of Bernard Manning?

?There is no more selfless and heroic breed of civilian than smokers, who contribute many billions more to the economy than they take in healthcare, and save untold billions more by declining to claim the state pension due to early death.? Someone's gotta do it. Where do I pick up my cheque?

"Anyone remember the Viz strip entitled "Thieving Gypsy Bastards"?" The Viz were taken to court by the E.U commission for racial equality. The case was dropped after the plaintiff was exposed as being on Police bail for handling stolen goods. How ironic.

Irish Traveller it is then.

Can I use 'didicoy' or 'tinker' instead.

"BBW - please stop using the word 'pikey'." Oh come on. Shakespeare used it, and Guy Ritchie. "It has horrid connotations and I wince everytime I see you use it." Now you know how I feel about emoticons and the abreviation of "laugh out loud".

Oh and in case any Johnny foreigners are wondering what on earth Izal is. It's a course toilet paper introduced by Lloyd George's war cabinet to inspire bravery in soldiers on the trenches because any firing squad is preferable to having to scrape your arse with the this notoriously eye watering toilet paper. It was introduced by Neath's conservative government to foster a bit of character in the education system. It did just that.