bigbadwolf

Exactly what I was thinking *Bob*.

I sometimes like to push elderly people down the escalators at London Bridge in case you were wondering. I just like to hear them "crunch", that's all.

"Wolf* you are not a demonic 5yr so cut that kind of behaviour out!" You should see what I do to ants with my magnifying glass.

It's not wrong or mean Kel. It's merely natural selection or the order of things, if you will. I don't bother the cat either, far from it in fact. Last month during one of the hottest days I was walking along my road and I saw Spot (the cat) hiding under a car in the shade. He was locked out and was thirsty. I took pity on the little critter and brought him a bowl of water. Upon offering the refreshment to the little Hitler his paw shot out and tore a nasty cut on my hand and he started hissing and spitting at me. So when I saw him hunting frogs a few days after it didn't seem unreasonable to turn the pressure washer on him.

Polly D/Dulwichmum/armed robbery incident. Oh come on Mark, don't leave us in suspense. What happened?

Really? My visits to grandad were often ruined by one of us eating too many Jaffa cakes and subsequently throwing up. The paper aeroplane wars facilitated by the thousands of betting slips more than made up for it though. Open All Hours was ace by the way.

"It used to be like a shop where entertaining things occurred on a regular basis, and then as a by-product of being in there, you ended-up buying something." Like this *Bob*? http://uktv.co.uk/images/homepage/43951.jpg

Oyster card all day every day. You could also consider "surfing" the train. It's very popular in India and it make you look really cool and rebelious to your mates. http://trainharder.com/blogs/robmackay/wp-content/blogs.dir/10/files//2007/07/untitled.bmp

Endorsed. I don't see it catching on. I'm also banned.

"Basically you need someone with a slighly exotic (local?) accent, who likes talking to themselves (do I really have to say it out loud) and is willing to get up at an ungodly hour (there's only really one contender)." Tony.London Suburbs.

"Like my friends' "friend" he's got a lovely BMW and another friends' has a Porsche, top-of-the-range, don't cha know...they both say neither of these 20-somethings have ever done a days work in their lives but often have to go out late at night after receiving a phone call..." Just so you know, Tony's basically insinuating that this 'friend of a friend' is dealing in class A drugs. I also went to the trouble of removing that stupid emoticon that wears sunglasses in the majority of Tony's posts.

Iain What you have to realise is that cats are the embodiment of the Antichrist. Cats will, as Brendan has already warned, invade your soul and eventually your very being in order to serve their every need. I don't have pets but my neighbours have a cat who scratches me now and again and looks at me as though he would happily slit my throat for a shilling if given the chance. I'm forced to tolerate his attitude but now and again when he's sunning himself I like to take the opportunity to pour a bucket of hot (not boiling, just hot) water over the little shit. It balances the equalibrium out a bit. It also feels very satisfying.

You never feel the first two strikes either. The rush of seething pain comes along just after the third "thwack". You usually start screaming after that as well. Still, nothing like a bit of pain to clear the mind.

"British parents who needed a kick up the 'arris." Not mine. Dad caned my littlebadbum when I got seriously out of line. Never did me any harm, well, except for the sore bum or hands.

Why would that evoke such an extreme emotion Brum?

Oh lummie I'm confused.com. Dont ever do that again.

PeckhamRose Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Can't stand the idiot either. Saw him doing a TV > show being a road trip on a Harley across USA, > with another American 'proper' biker, and Ian > Wright came across as childish, immature, > irresponsible, lazy and an idiot. The other guy > did all the work whilst Ian Wright posed for the > camera constantly. Typical spoilt overpaid > man-child who has never had to grow up. But then > there's lots of men like that on our screens! > > Apart from the above I have no opinions at all. Are you taking the piss? The Yank moaned all the time and refused to take part in anything. He even turned his nose up at the Grand Canyon!!

I like Ian Wright. Although I've never really been a fan of football I still like to imagine him bouncing all over the BBC's studio when England put one in the back of the net against Scotland whilst Alan Hansen stares blankly at the screen, controlling his rage for another day.

"Although at least you don?t encounter some of the blatant right wing bullshit in the Guardian that you sometimes come across in some of the comment pieces in the Times." Yeah, as a reader of both the Saturday and Sunday Times I'm inclined to agree with you Brendan. I wasn't around when Harold Evans was editor of the Sunday Times but I've read excerpts of his contribution to the paper and there's a stark contrast to it's content before Rupert Murdoch made the fool hardy decision to oust Evans and what John Witherow lets go to print. My grandfather was an enormous fan of Evans, and on his forced departure from the editors desk my grandfather was so angry that he went into a drunken rage and burnt down his shed as a symbolic protest. I prefer the Times but I still read the Observer and the Independant.

I think I've lost count of how many times I've stated that the Guardian is the most insipid and patronising broadsheet. It's readership are misguided fools of their own niavety. Most c_ntish.

I'm gonna let what you've just written pass lard. Any more though and you're out!

Bloody 'ell Tony, you've been busy today haven't you.

Wasn't Saw 1 to 5 a much better version of Big Brother? I thought so anyway.

"The "much-missed" "bob" returneth...with an insult. So to speak." I think I speak for everyone in saying that we wouldn't want it any other way.

I prefer to think of Tony as the town cryer. I think he does as well.