bigbadwolf

Keef, I've no intention of speaking to any of you at a pub in the way I carry on here. I'd be seperated with most of my teeth if I did. I think that the majority (including yourself) know this. I suppose I'll have to admit on reflection that this could be seen as a charicature on my part. I've met with several of you you and I carried myself politely. I very much doubt I'd find myself in a pub with D.M. I would still verbally defend myself if I found myself the subject of attack. I don't see any of you, D.M and Jah Lush included as any kind of 'net geek'. I see you as all members of a valuable community message board that does benefit it's users. If others find that sad then that's their loss because lets face it, if you live in the east Dulwich and it's borders and you're not on the forum...you're no one.

Please take it as a compliment but I only say it because it's true. A lot of people on the EDF are refugee's from se23.com (me included) because they got sick and tired of Steve Shaw's attitude.

bignumber5 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > You do realise that you are criticising the > behaviour of a satirical construct, a parody of > real life, a social commentary? If you're talking about me BN5, not so much. > At the risk of fanning the fire, I think BBW is > probably well aware that DM is a satirical > construct, but I've recently realised that the > forum BBW is unlikely to be how the man behind it > lives his life, rather that it is something of a > caricature. So actually, his point about the > aspects of DM that are at the expense of others is > pretty valid. I suspect that the difference is > that DM does her thing on her blog and here, but > doesn't take it outside of the classroom, so to > speak. > > BBW, if you are indeed something of a parody > yourself (Gawd help us all if you're completely > for real ;-)) then perhaps that's the lesson that > DM can teach you. I actually find it shocking that you think that my posting style suggests that I've created some kind of alter ego for myself. I've stated quite clearly who I am and often converse in quite a civil tone with the majority of you. I admit that I can come across as brash and crude as D.M and other's have pointed out. I'm afraid that this is simply just me being me. You may find this shocking but I do have a very dark sense of humour and most of my friends share the same sense of humour. I don't wish the machinations of my cruel humour on anyone either. I'm not somekind of oafish monster either. Get a bloody grip! > DM, rather than reprimanding the young > whippersnapper, why not take him in hand and show > him how it's done: Don't make me laugh. My writing style may be crude and charmless but it most certainly isn't simple or repetative. I abhore those stupid smiley face's and I wouldn't dream of using a sentence between 2 highlights (*) to explain some physical action that relates to the visual presentation of the post. That shows a lack of literal dexterity and I knew that in secondary school. > Sort of... well... > > http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/news/00020573.jpg

Keef's right, They do have one and it's about 5 years older than this one. It's pants and run by an utter control freak. The EDF isn't.

Hal, What you do or don't do to your pets after dark is your affair. That is not me. I shudder to think what went on after you stopped filming. What with all those empty bottles lying around.

You should've seen the state of me after the last piss up.

I think it's a pointless attempt wringing one more drop of blood from social networking. I find it boring, childish and the realm of teenagers.

Don't worry Sunlover, I can only remember a few. I have absolutely no problem with people commenting on my sense of humour whether it's disliking/commenting on/picking apart or saying it's not funny. It's up to them to interpret it. What I have a problem with is when someone starts on me for no reason what so ever and then everyone else jumps in as well. I wont be intimidated here or on the street and I'll defend myself or bite back. Thanks all the same though SL.

I really like College rd as the houses near the church on the right going up toward Crystal Palace parade look really nice and spacious but I suspect they cost a fortune. I'm not really too keen on the 60/70's chuck ups in Woodhall drive or Great Brownings though. I find that asking for a levy, no matter how much it is, to use the length of College rd if you live on the Dulwich estate is an utter piss take and would seriously put me off the rd. Even if I don't drive because it's the principle of the thing.

Sometimes Legal, the linen has to be aired in public. I was being pushed around and some were trying to shift me to the other side of the fence. Sometimes, I have to bite back. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZuYDFhqd4Y

D.M, I've followed your blog as you well know. From what I've read you've had several au-pairs, I believe that the last one was found with a mug that said "I love Brixton". She was got rid of, by which ever means you saw fit. Yes, I appreciate that D.M isn't promiscuous at heart, but she's cerainly bandied the sugestion that she'll entertain a squad of fitness instructors, even if it is only over a 'glass half empty'. I do however realise that my situations have often seen you end up in some embarressing and unlady like manouvres. I'm sorry for that and I'll remember that in future that even if the Dulwichmum doesn't like what's happening to her, the women behind the character is actualy offended. That path will now be closed to me. I'm sorry. However, You have mocked those in financial difficulty. To you it may seem harmless (much like the situations I've put D.M in) but to poke fun at those wo have to go the lower end of highstreet because they can no longer afford the luxuries that you're supposedly still enjoying, is still mocking those who have to do without. Especially in the situation we've found ourselves in due to people you're supposedly married to. It's like saying "have a wiff of my roses to get rid of the smell of ash". It could be seen by some as offensive. Reality T.V, I'm afraid you're wrong here D.M. I was brought up (thankfully) before this craze took place and by the time it had infected the moral fibre of our society I was and still am old enough to see through it for what it is. You're blog however serves as a reminder of perhaps a greater threat of 'fantasy T.V'. You're right, I don't know anything about you except for our private conversations. You probably know a little more about me from what I've posted such as my age etc... I'm fine with that. I hope what I written has cleared up any misconceptions on my part. Take care.

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I've been stirred today Quids but not shaken.

It's a joke. I hope that she see's that for what it is. Some obviously don't.

You'd certainly get a workout trying to prise the joke book from his fingers. He's been telling the Doctor Spock joke every Christmas since I can remember. They do sound far fetched Mamma. If you want a real workout, buy a bike or go swimming.

HellNoHellYeah Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I can't stand their stupid lycra shorts and the > way they cycle on the pavement or appear out of > nowhere. One of these c**ts got really arsey with > me last night after she tried to run me over. > Idiots. You think you've got it bad? Years ago a worked as a motorbike courier (alot of fun) and cycle couriers would do something called 'Alley catting' on a fixie (no gears) bike. That was irritating and life threatening for others. This still goes on.

I'm no expert but I think that they're only designed to make exercise more comfortable, not stimulate any muscles in your feet. If you need your toes curled I'll send you my dad's joke book.

Doesn't everyone that lives on the Dulwich estate/Fiefdom get a free pass at the toll gate?

dulwichmum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > "I do however take exeption to your cowardly > jumping on the band wagon of discontent against > me" > > I am not being cowardly in my jumping on the > bandwagon. It feels creepy the way you stalked me > on Facebook and told me you had photos of me etc. > I am voicing a concern - no sooner are you back > from a ban, then you are once again, back to your > old self, with talk of "playing with" yourself > etc. > > Really now, I have said it all before. This talk > is not intelligent, it is base and crude and > offensive. I've taken into consideration what everyone has said about me being creepy and I understand, but it has been blown out of proportion to extent that I'm being branded as some sort of predator, I'm not. You find my humour to be crude and offensive. It is true that I do have a barrack room humour and can conjour up images of severe brutality and violence but it is only in my head, not being mentally directed at the those I've seen on facebook. I have a vivid imagination but I wont apologise for it. I've never said this but I think that I might as well get it off my chest now. Even though it is woven into the content of your blog and 'persona' on the forum I find your advocation and humour directed at the vile trade in people utterly despicable. You may find it suits the character of Dulwichmum to have a regular string of housekeepers that you suggest have been smuggled into the country against their will. It is in fact (as I'm sure you're aware) a heinous trade that brings barbaric suffering on those it manipulates. To joke about the suffering this incurrs is crude in the least. Another aspect of your character is the mocking and degrading of those in financial difficulty. I'm no homeowner and I rarely have a pot to piss in but there are people on this site who've suffered serious, serious financial hardship due to the economic downturn which you portray your 'husband' as someone who may or may not be responsible. Some may have even lost their homes and there are those in other parts who have even taken their own lives and worse due to their sudden difficulty. For you to then parade yourself as some one forced to endure Morrisons and go about saying "buck up sweetie, it'll be over soon" whilst there are some on their knees with no where to turn is literally kicking them in the face while down. I admit that I do have my faults and I can go over the top but so can you. That's all I have to say. Take care D.M.

dulwichmum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Can I just wade in here and say that I have, on > occasion, laughed with you BBW. But in general, > you are crude and charmless. One of the reasons > that I seldom come on the forum anymore is because > some of the posts you have written have turned my > stomach. I'm well aware of your displesure and resentment of me D.M and I have made a conserted effort to rein my neck back in as a sacrifice of my bile and viterol to get you back on board. I do however take exeption to your cowardly jumping on the band wagon of discontent against me that has risen from what I believe was a well meaning thread designed to invite some more shy posters from the wood work. I now realise that my efforts were in vain but I did not intend this topic to end out as it has.

Actually... Why haven't I thought of this before... The most suitable candidate is... Me. Who shall I cast though... I know. M - Dulwichmum Villain - Jah Lush Sidekick - Brendan Q - Keef Moneypenny - Moos 006 - Sean I've no idea why I'd been summoned to H.Q at such an ungodly hour but she did insist. I approached the house as the gravel crunched underfoot as the house keeper answered the door. "Shez apstairs an she iz very crosh dat you are late." "Don't worry Moneypenny, I know how to handle her." I stole up the marble stair case to explain my absence. "Mr Wolf, where the devil have you been, I called for you moons ago!" "I apologise M, but what exactly do you want with me." "I have a mission for you Mr Wolf. That ghastly Baron von Lush has promised to sell me the Jewel of India diamond but he's being most unreasonable." "What seems to be amise?" "What the deuce do you mean you oikish little man! He's asking me to part with a fortune for the damned thing, that's whats amise not to mention since that old hag the Queen has worn it it's second hand goods! Go and retrieve it for me and I shall make it worth your while." "For you and my country M." "Oh hang the country! I simply must have that rock as I'm practicing for my funeral and I must look the picture. They say it'll be like Diana's funeral but I shall out do her. "Be a good man and pick up your new firearm from Q on your way out. Go on, shoo!" I made why way down to Q's lab and on entering picked up a massive spliff on the table. "Oi don't touch that! That's my lunch!" Q handed me my new kit in a guitar case and explained that the Kazoo inside was infact my new Walther PPK. As I drove through the village towards Von Lush's hideout in my shagged out Cortina my head was swimming with doubt. I pulled up outside the CPT as quietly as I could so as not to disturb my nemesis. I dimmed the lights as my counterpart 006 approached the car. "Fa Gad sake man, where have ya been? Oi've been waitin 'ours fa ya, ya cont" "Sorry Sean. What the deal here then?" "Oi've had a look round da back an 'is 'enchman is on gord. Ya nor da fella, desended from bush snoipah's fram da Booorrr wor." We snuck round the back and sure enough Brendan was waiting with his Mauser. I threw some Biltong into the bush. He went over for a sniff which is when I crept up behind him. Suddenly I felt a crack to the back of my head and everything went black. I woke up with Jah von Lush looking menacingly down on me. I was tied to a table with a laser weapon pointed at my nuts. "So, wot 'ave we got 'ere den eh? Oh yeah, it's that little gobshite from before. 'ows it feel to be da recievin end of a little heat then eh Wolf" "I'm saying nothing!" "That's alright my shun, ah know everyfing aboutcha an why you're 'ere. That toff in da village sent you on a little errand didn't she. Well, I'm afraid she's gonna have to pay full whack farit. Say goodbye to your ballbags!" "No please, I'll tell you anything you need to know. Please don't pick my pockets!" "There's nuffing you know dat could interest me." "I know where the key to Lordship lane is!" "Wot?" "You know exactly what I mean. The key that will un-lock lordship lane from all the poncy bars and trendies that have shoved off the old guard. I know through old tales and stories that you were once a kind and loving man but when the middle classes forced you from your barstool you came to resent them. I can help you!" "Ah fort dat woz a myff." "It's not myth. It's kept in the safe at SMBS." "Alright, untie 'im Brendan." "Of course Brah." Me and my new allies slowly crept up the lane with our lights dimmed. I didn't trust Von Lush but he seemed like my only friend in such an un-certain mission and I was worried about where Sean had got to and if he was safe. We pulled up outside SMBS. What I saw made my blood freeze. 006 was carrying something that looked like a body! Then it struck me. Sean has been known to be seen at several places at once but no one had ever confronted the issue. It was obvious to all three of us now, these Sean's we'd all thought were the same were in fact automatons. We jumped out of the car and confronted the puppet Paddy and chucked a bottle of Evian at it. It sparked and fizzed and eventually exploded. We rushed inside SMBS and found the safe and the key inside. We jumped in the Cortina and made our way to the CPT. Jah took the key with a tear in his eye and put it in the lock of the old dis-used toilet. He turned it and all of a sudden everything started spinning around. Eventually everything settled down. "You've made my dreams come back to life Wolf, how can I repay ya?" "You can stop being so aggresive towards me for a start." "Oh yeah, why should I listen to a little pip squeak like you?" "If you do as I ask then I shall stop being so rude to you." "I'll fink abaht it." "Do that." "Wot abaht Sean?" "Oh don't worry, just leave him as he is. We've both learned a lesson today."

I can't help but disagree simply on the ground that I can't see Q branch adapting a Sovereign ring to fire a laser. Nor can I picture 077 wearing white socks with black shoes.

I don't remember being rude/nasty to Keef either. Please clarify your reason for pointing that out. Of course I'm glad I started this thread. It's just a shame that some people got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Get in line MrBen. There's plenty with the same message as yours.

Jah Lush Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Go play with yourself. You know what I look like. > You know where I drink. You know where to find me > thanks to your on line stalking I'm not a violent > man but come and have a go if you think your hard > enough but I'm not taking any more part in this > pathetic playground nonsense on here. Go figure. I've no interest in seeking you out. My reply was to that of an aggresive/violent threat to my person that I made no effort to solicit. End of.