Rhinestone Cowboy

Frost/Nixon If you want Politics and shady dealings Grand Torino Its about a car thief by Clint Eastwood He's Just Not That Into You Chic flick but has Jennifer Connelly in it and I love her Milk San Fran Politics Revolutionary Road looks heavy to me Slumdog Millionaire great film some classic moments and great shots of India Curious Case of Benjamin Button out today and 170 mins long Slumdog for a nice easy friday night

A Manchester United groundsman has revealed he caught a player sunbathing under UV lights on the pitch at Old Trafford. The member of United's ground staff said he discovered the player attempting to top up his tan by lying under ultraviolet lights used to encourage the turf to grow. When asked for his highlight of the year, the groundsman said: "Finding a player sunbathing on the pitch under the grow lights!" He declined to identify the player, although fans have joked it might be Portuguese winger Cristiano Ronaldo, who developed an astonishingly rich tan during summer 2008. Man utd full of lady men if you ask me.

Manchester City and England defender Micah Richards has been arrested on suspicion of assault after an incident outside a nightclub in Greater Manchester. Its all going on up North.. Sparky Hughs needs to get house in order.. starting to turn into Leeds Utd

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a lady for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. 'I'm 90 years old,' he says. '90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?' 'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?'

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're beautiful.' Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're cute.' The wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful,' it was now 'cute.' She asked, 'What happened to beautiful?' The man replied, 'The drugs are wearing off.'

Can someone please upload a picture of the Igloooooo on goose green. They were almost finished about 30 mins ago and its looking fantastic.

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention . She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his 'private part' hanging out. 'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said. 'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.

Anyone seen my horse?

On the news they just said we could get another 4-6Inches ( No Pun ) this afternoon so even if you do make it in then making it back could be a problem.

Quids on a roll.....

Iron

Anyone seen my Horse?

Sorry missed my go.. Fill in the missing gap: 1979: Sunderland 1980: ??? 1981: Villa

Words of wisdom. A nice old story with a different twist - will make you appreciate family. My grandmother died in the 50s, but her birthday is coming up, and that always causes me to reminisce. The long walks we used to take to the store in town, the quarters she gave me for meaningless jobs like pulling weeds or washing the sidewalk. Those gems were all good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandmotherly advice, occurred when I was only about 13. We were sitting in a park having just finished collecting some 40 soda bottles for the deposit money on a beautiful spring day. She told me that one day, I would find a wonderful woman and start my own family. 'And always remember this thing,' she said. 'Be sure you marry a woman with small hands.' 'How come, Grandma?' I asked her. She answered in her soft voice. 'Makes your dick look bigger.'

I've been walking these streets so long Singing the same old song I know every crack in these dirty sidewalks of Broadway Where hustle is the name of the game And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain There's been a load of compromising On the road to my horizon But I'm gonna be where the lights are shining on me................

Arsenal 3 West Ham 0 ( think Arsenal due to bounce back and we pay for it ) Aston Villa 1 Wigan 0 Bolton 1 Tottenham 1 Fulham 2 Portsmouth 1 Hull 0 West Brom 0 ( last game on MOTD? ) Man Utd 1 Everton 1 ( Red Army still has 12 out? ) Middlesbrough 1 Blackburn 3 Stoke 1 Man City 2 Liverpool 2 Chelsea 1 Newcastle 2 Sunderland 2

It wasn't Schummy it was the Stig

He was stuck in 6th Gear or someone else's gear ?

My boss is French and sent me this, so I figured that it was Ok to share Two French paratroopers were seconded to the SAS for special training. After the first day they met up in the bar. "Ah, Pierre," asks one, "'ow 'av you been doing?" "Merde!" answers Pierre. "I 'av 'ad ze most terrible day. Terrible! At seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg 'airy sergeant. 'E dragged me out of bed and onto ze parade ground." "And zen what 'appened?" enquired his mate. "I will tell you what 'appened! 'E made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform five feet off ze ground and zen 'e said "Jurmp!" "And did you jurmp?" asks his mate. "I did not. I told 'im - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp five feet. Eet is beneath my dignity'." "And zen what 'appened?" asks his mate. "Zen 'e made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform ten feet off ze ground, and 'e said "Jurmp." "And did you jurmp?" asks his mate. "I did not. I told 'im - 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp ten feet. Eet is beneath my dignity'." "What 'appened zen?" asks his mate. "Zen 'e made me climb urp zis rickety platform un'undred feet above ze parade ground. 'E undid 'is trousers, took out zis enormous weely, and 'e said 'If you do not jurmp, I am going to steek zis right urp your burm!'" "Sacre Bleu, mon ami" says his mate. "And did you jurmp?" "A leetle ....... at ze beginning."

One Monday morning the Postman is riding through the neighborhood on his usual route delivering the mail. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Derek, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles for the recycling bin. 'Wow Derek, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,' the Postman comments. Derek, in obvious pain, replies 'Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I.' The Postman thinks a moment and says, 'How do you play WHO AM I?' 'Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.' The Postman laughs and says, 'Sounds like fun. I'm sorry I missed that.' 'Probably a good thing you did,' Derek responded. 'Your name came up seven times....'

Barcelona have left the door open for AC Milan to grab Emmanuel Adebayor if they wish after a source at Barcelona told Spanish radio that Adebayor would be a waste of money. Ze Knives are out for ze Arse..

Carlton Cole was a merry old soul And a merry old soul was he He calls for the ball, puts it in the goal Or sets up Di Michele Oh theres none so rare, that can compare With King Cole and his Di Michele good fun last night

When I do a big shop I usually give them ?1-?2 but if it's not that heavy and under ?50 I just say "thanks and be lucky"

An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited a doctor to find out how to go about this."Well" said the doctor, "this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have to remove 50% of your brain"."That's OK" said the Englishman. "I've always wanted to be Irish and I'm prepared to take the risk". The operation went ahead but the Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor."I'm so terribly sorry!!" the doctor said. "Instead of removing half the brain, I've removed 80%". The patient replied, "No worries, mate!!"

Will be going to game tonight but I usually walk to CPT to watch games, get a good mixture of fans in there.