Jah Lush

To Gordon Brown's credit he kept us out of the Euro despite the constant prompting from The Bliar.

Sadly, Spurs are out of that one.

This cockerel isn't crowing yet either but having qualified in FIRST place Spurs will get an easier draw than Arsenal who finished SECOND in their group. It is entirely possible that we could go further depending on what kind of draw either of us get but I'm quietly confident that Spurs can beat any one of the teams that they may come up against in the next round. We entertain Chelsea at White Hart Lane on Sunday and I'm feeling pretty confident we can take all three points off them as well. I'm pretty sure the Man Utd and possibly a few of the Arsenal fans on here will want us to win that one too.

Martin Jol is a class act. No two ways about. A top bloke too.

Johnny Ace shot himself whilst playing a game of Russian roulette.

I was being generous. He really is crap isn't he. This from the Mirror's Oliver Holt - STUPIDITY in a football club owner should never be a surprise but Mike Ashley's sacking of Chris Hughton has raised the imbecility bar to new heights. Let's get this straight: Hughton gets the club promoted last season despite little investment from the owner; somehow he manages to mould a combustible headstrong set of players into a formidable unit again; he organises them into a side that exceeds expectations in the Premier League this season; thrashes Sunderland; wins away at Arsenal and gets the best out of Andy Carroll to the point where he is drafted into the full England side. And for this Hughton gets the bullet. Madness. No other word for it.

That shows a distinct lack of ambition from the directors at Newcastle United. Alan Pardew hasn't exactly covered himself in glory when it comes to managing football clubs. How is he any better than Chris Hughton? I predict a short tenancy. He'll be sacked within ten months.

For how many passengers?

A journalist rings Lib Dem Head Office and asks for a copy of their manifesto. "Sorry, we've completely sold out," comes the reply. "I know that," says the journalist, "but can I have a copy of your manifesto?"

Yes, I suspect a lot of the people on this forum were very young or not even born at the time. Obviously you were still a baby.

John Lennon was shot dead 30 years ago today. Where were you when you first heard the news? I was in the back of taxi coming home in the early hours after a very late night out uptown. As I settled into my seat the cabbie said "have you heard the news? John Lennon's been shot dead." He had the radio on and we couldn't believe what we were hearing. At the time I'd just moved into a flat in Townley Road and I had to get up a few hours later to go to work and I heard it again on the radio when the alarm woke me up and it was only then through the alcoholic fog in my brain that it started to sink in because they were playing his records non-stop.

Newcastle To Replace Hughton With Copy Of 1972 Magpie Annual.

No. But wait. It could be. ----------------------------------- This little lad is peddling down the street on his bike in Belfast when he gets hit by a car doing about 60 miles an hour An old woman rushes over to him and sees that he`s really badly injured. "An ambulance is on its way my son." She says " Do you want me to call for a priest?" "No thanks Ma'am." Says the little boy, "Sex is the last thing on my mind right now!"

Err.. that's hardly a joke is it? Where's the punchline? I fail to see what's so funny about someone being run over and killed.

The Defective Parrot. A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.' 'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me. !' 'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird' 'Oh yeah?' the guy asks. 'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?' 'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook. You can't see it, because of my feathers.' 'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?' 'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.' The guy looks at the ?200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.' 'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for ?20, just make the guy an offer.!' The guy offers ?20, and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the UPS man.' 'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy. 'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.' 'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?' 'Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot. 'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?' 'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.' Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?' 'DUNNO? I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch!'

The 12-Step programme. Rehab's for quitters.

He should sue the shit out of them for unfair dismissal.

That's an absolute disgrace. But no surprise. Comedy Club indeed. I hope they've shot themselves in the foot again and get relegated now.

Filippo Inzaghi was definitely born offside.

Or inverted snobbery: - the idea that everything typical of the higher social classes is bad and everything typical of the working class is good.

That really takes the biscuit in belt tightening. A step too far I think.

It taught me to be streetwise and not much else. Mind you the last two years I hardly ever went. Eventually I walked out and told them to stick it up their arse and never went back.

Take A Chance On Me.

kpc Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Decent game at St Andrews. Draw a fair result. > Straight question. Does Defoe always fall over > that much? No, but he was born offside.

I went to Tulse Hill as well Santerme. It was a shit hole.