Jah Lush

God Is In The House - Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds

A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life. That is, until the ship sank! He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?' She replies, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed herewhen my cruise ship sank.' 'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.' 'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat out of raw materials I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree. 'But, where did you get the tools? 'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.' The guy is stunned. 'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?' 'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed. 'I can't take another drop of coconut juice.' 'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?' Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet.' No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. 'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?' When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. 'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?' She stares into his eyes... He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes..... 'F*****g hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?'

God Only Knows - Beach Boys

Honky Tonkin' - Hank Williams

Another Brick In The Wall - Pink Floyd ----- errr...OK Just Another Honky - The Faces

They are very nice people running the record shop and I've even helped out once when they were a bit short (about 4ft 9ins). Enjoyed a couple of acoustic set there one Saturday afternoon too a few weeks back. Looks for the Dream Machine threads and you'll find out more.

CPT. You know it makes sense. Although I was too mashed up from the night before to watch the Spurs there yesterday afternoon.

Doh! Just as long as Arshavin doesn't play like he did in the final. Is it just me but every time I see or type that name it looks like Arse shaving.

Threshers was crap anyway. Plenty of other places go to get your booze on Lordship Lane. Thanks for the tip *Bob*. A good plan indeed.

Yeah that El Zhar looked pretty good and should have had a penalty.

The gardens that back on to mine in Melford Road are on Underhill and Wood Vale, so I guess you're just around the corner from me Simon. It's a great place for bird watching from my bedroom and living room windows as it's all trees out the back there, though I'm not much of an ornithologist.

The thing is whoever comes in whether it be Arshavin and Pavlyuchenko they have all got to get used to each other and get used to pace of the Premiership. So it's another season of adjustment for Spurs. Feck me! We should never have got rid of Martin Jol at this rate. What's the betting he wins something in his first year at Hamburg this season.

Christ on a bike you Liverpool fans think you've got problems, just take a look at what's happening or not happening at White Hart Lane. As Bon3yard said: "The horror." We've got two centre-forwards. One who is fucking brilliant but wants to play for Man Utd and another one who is a ?16.5 million waste of fecking space. In the past year we've got rid of Robbie Keane, Jermaine Defoe and Mido (who has lost weight and started scoring regularly for Boro). We need three forwards and we need them NOW!!!!

Blimey! I forgot about the discoteque at Streatham Bowling Alley on Friday and Saturday nights back in the early 70s. First place I hung out at when I first starting drinking and trying to pull the ladies even though I only 14 to 15 years old at the time.

Liverpool have got plenty of wide players except they all seem to be right-wingers and Benitez insists on playing them on the left. Why?

Summertime Blues - Eddie Cochran

giggirl Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Is it just me or are The Pogues getting more > Christmassy than turkey and tinsel? Yeah! Christmas comes but once a year and so do the Pogues.

Over the last few weeks I've seen a couple of Parakeets in my neighbours back garden, which backs onto mine in Melford Road. They like the apples in the apple tree, which is huge. This morning six of them flew into the tree. They are lime green with a hint of yellow. Absolutely beautiful site. Unfortunately, the local Magpies aren't so keen. I think they feel they are invading their space.

It's already full of sharks.

Tough luck Keef, probably just as well though. I hope you find something that suits your skills and they are many. Don't give up and don't let the bastards grind you down. As my dad used to say "always fight fire with fire," which is probably why he was thrown out of the fire brigade.

Status Quo did some of their earliest gigs there although they were probably called The Spectres then.

It's So Hard - John Lennon

The Half Moon in Herne Hill for Sunday jams and various pills and thrills, Steve Waller Band, Salt (Little Stevie Smith's band), CSA and I remember seeing the UK Subs there before they went punk whose set list consisted of mainly Chuck Berry and Bo Diddley numbers. The Newlands Tavern (Now the Ivy House) for Doctor Feelgood, Kilburn & The High Roads (Ian Dury), Wilco Johnson and the Solid Senders, Cado Belle and Upp (with Jeff Back and Bernard Purdie in attendance). Also, the Uplands was a good place for music on Friday and Saturday nights back in the 70s/early 80s although I don't remember seeing any bands there (before my time) and I'm still a regular down the Dog, where I've been going since I was 15.

Indeed, the woods are fantastic. Absolutely beautiful and so peaceful you forget you're in the middle of London. I walked through them a couple of Sundays back with a mate and his dog and then had a couple of pints in the Woodhouse and then walked back through them again. Used to walk through the tunnel as a kid with my dad and big sister. Happy days. Also sitting outside the Dog on a summer's day watching the world go by whilst sinking a few pints is good for the soul.

That's How Strong My Love Is - O V Wright