Jah Lush

Maurice and his wife Esther visit the town carnival every year and every year Maurice always says: "Esther, I'd like to fly in that helicopter". Esther always replies: "I know Maurice, but the ride costs 50 quid, and 50 quid is 50 quid." One year Maurice pleads, "Esther, I'm 85, if I don't fly this year, I might never get another chance." "Maurice, the helicopter is 50 quid, and 50 quid is 50 quid," replies Esther. The pilot overhears and makes them an offer, "I'll take both of you up," he starts, "and if you don't say a word throughout, I won't charge you. One word though, and it's 50 quid." The couple agree. The pilot does all kinds of fancy moves, but not a word is spoken. He does his daredevil routine over and over again, but still nothing. When they land the pilot turns to Maurice and says: "I did everything to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!" Maurice smiles coyly, then says: "Actually, I nearly said something when Esther fell out, but you know, 50 quid is 50 quid."

See Sean's definition Macroban.

I think you could find yourself on the receiving end of quite a bit of grief for that post *Bob*.

Don't be coy. Surely, you don't want me to spell it out for you do you?

Not strictly East Dulwich I know but I went to Dulwich Hamlet Infants and Junior Schools.

Indeed, my definition doesn't appear to be on there at all. But I think dear readers you DO know what my definition is don't you.

A Milf.

Ah yes, thanks Fear & Boozing and as for Mr Abu Hamza, who is still languishing in Belmarsh Prison....where you're still allowed to smoke. Must be a bit difficult with that hook though.

Climbs out of pool, grabs a beer, finds a plate and fills it with Sean's chilli. Wow! that's good and hot. Well done Sean, just what the doctor ordered. Finds lounger and starts stuffing face with a second helping and prepares for an afternoon of sun bathing and generally chilling out.

Top story of the day for me is the bungling officials in Stoke-On-Trent for failing to confirm banning powers in time so people are still happily smoking away in the town's 400 pubs and clubs. :)) And will be able to do so until August 1st.

Wakes up from rather long snooze, good job I plugged myself into a saline drip last night as I'm now feeling right as ninepence and ready for a new day...hmmm chilli and beer, that'll make a fine brunch but I think I'll have a quick dip in the pool first just to freshen up a bit. Slips into shorts and dives in. Oh wow! Come on in the water's lovely.

*Hoorah, finds ciggies, skins up and pours another JD and coke, swills from can of red stripe in other hand. I think I'm bit too relaxed to play darts actually, but I'll deffo have some of that chilli. Gasps!..bloody hell that's hot.*

*Yes, nice place you have here...I'm feeling kinda relaxed already.*

Bollocks to darts, I need a large Jack and pint of the black stuff. Is there fag machine in here?

Afternoon, mind if I join you. I'm gagging for a drink I see me Mr Fear & Boozing has been on the crystal meths again?

Thanks very much Louisa, I shall be booking a table there in the very near future.

Excuse me but has anyone got Le Moulin's number please? I'd like to book a table soon.

Oh! I do love a happy ending. Well done for fessing up susyp. I haven't been to Le Moulin for years and because of your excellent review shall be booking a table in there soon.

Recently a man from East Dulwich had to go to hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis. According to the man his girlfriend had found the ring in his trousers and became so furious that she stuck it on him while he was asleep. So which is worse? Having your girlfriend find out that you are married? Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis? Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring?

The 10th is ok for me too.(tu)

Nurse! The screens.

I'll put the kettle on.

I can make the 3rd, no problem.

Excellent!, you've made a good choice Meccadave and welcome to the forum.

Oi! I'm Spurs fan and rarely confused apart from when I've mixed up my drugs with too much alcohol or vice versa. I certainly wouldn't get confused between White Hart Lane and Lordship Lane but, yes I have heard it called the Strip on many occasions but that would refer to the bit where all the restaurants and bars are from the EDT to the Magdala.