the latter I think!! to be honest you really need some decent honest friends to share your equally "god I am hopeless at this" stories with mirth and a complete lack of judgement. I have had some of the best times with my friends, weeping with laughter as we out do each other in the bad mother stakes - I should hasten to add we all love our children dearly!! I rather suspect your marvellous friend is actually just as crap as the rest of us but cannot admit it. Let's face it - I think most of us find having a child a complete shock - sleep deprivation, chaos, lack of control, mess along with the "I had NO idea it would be like this!" feeling. I do not know of anyone who genuinely feels they are doing it right - just finding their way as they go! Do not worry, you are normal, your mate is not.