you are dressing one that is nearly 4??? Mine were a similar age gap,and I actually had a few stories downstairs while I fed, then put little one down first, read a bit more with older one downstairs- they really feel they are missing out on attention and like a bit of undivided attention, then make them go very quietly to bed.Without disturbing younger one - this only lasted till youngest was 18 months though............ I think it really depends on how they are- but the older one feels like second fiddle so have to find some special time.