Fuschia

SB: have you tried ellas kitchen fruit pouches? Sainsburys do a nice kids fromage frais also in a pouch. The mode of delivery is very attractive to toddlers I have found...

I used a stick blender, into a jug

lisaetpa Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I thought it was mandatory to send kids when they > are 4... > Do you have some advices about the "good" roads in > Dulwich? Mo, they admit "rising 5s" so if your twins are 5 by Easter, they would be offered a pkace from sept, if 5 afterwards, from January. But the law sasy they must go from the start of the term AFTER they are 5, so you can leave them on a iting list till then In ED, all schools are good... Heber Goodrich Goose Green St Johns (church school but some general places) there are also schools in Nunhead and over the border in lewisham For any school, draw a small circle round it on the map and look there Goodrich is the biggest, so prob proprortionately more chance someone will move out Avoid the area round the gardens/close to peckham rye park, is a school black hole i would print out a map and mark the schools on...

No minimum age but you need a hydro pool. Peckham pulse is one such, though getting in can be hard (need to prebook in person) Dolphin swim school in Mitcham is the best place for lessons, they take tinies, lovely warm pool, dedicated centre.. not cheap, but worth it

SB: i think of my twins as 'good eaters' but sometimes I'm sure most of it ends up on the floor. I am usually using the 20 mins they/re immobilised in their highchair either tidying the kitchen or necking my own food.. if I do look closely sometimes I realise M is pinching T's cheese and tomato and piling bread and cucumber on his plate.. I am no doubt kidding myself they get a balanced diet I think it's a case of Mr Spratt could eat no fat, and all that... all I can say is, they probably eat much the same as DS1 did, but with him I used to worry and fuss and make different things and try to second guess him.. now I am feeidng three, I've realised some interesting stuff.. like.... 6 weeks ago both twins stopped eating peas or sweetcorn.. now DS1 loves them so they haven't left the menu.. I have given them a spoonful every few days ever since and it has gone on the floor. Last week M ate all of hers, all of T's and a good part of mine! Then early this week, T took a liking for them too and ate 3/4 of a portion. Till he saw we holding a pea to his mouth and I said look, T's eating a pea! Cue 10 minutes of silly game playing where he put it in and out of his mouth 100 times, giggling. Have they worked out the 'mummy is very interested in every morsel we eat!' game and the 'how to get mummy to kneel down on the floor!' game?! You betcha.. I think your dedicated attempts to encourage him are having zilch effect so you might as well just turn on the radio and think 'la la la' thoughts to yourself, if you can.

lisaetpa Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We still don't know for the road because we are, > once again, looking for advices on roads and > schools...thanks. Ah. You want to be be AS CLOSE AS possible to a school! To be safe, probably within a couple of hundred metres, as the crow flies. THose who did school entry this year maybe can share how small the circle was for some schools... PS You don't have to send your twins to school till the term AFTER they're 5, so you possibly can delay until January or easter?

lisaetpa Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We still don't know for the road because we are, > once again, looking for advices on roads and > schools...thanks. Ah. You want to be be AS CLOSE AS possible to a school! To be safe, probably within a couple of hundred metres, as the crow flies. THose who did school entry this year maybe can share how small the circle was for some schools... PS You don't have to send your twins to school till the term AFTER they're 5, so you possibly can delay until January or easter?

Oh sweetie! You can take a horse to water and all that. Go on, give up. It will get worse before it gets better. He is testing out the world and his position in it and your role as his personal assistant. You can't MAKE him eat, all you can do is offer the stuff.. no point letting it upset you. His diet doesn't sound so bad. Carry on sticking some veg in his pasta sauce, rotate the food he likes and carry on adding some veg etc to his plate. Try offering him a taste from your plate esp if you are out and you have something interesting. Try offering him fruit in a little yoghurt pot, or made into a mini kebab, from a little plastic bag while he's in his buggy, or floated in a boat when he's in the bath... xx

I don't think yiu can apply until you are actually resident. Then go ahead and apply to the council. They are obliged to offer you a school within 3 miles. You're unlikely to be offered an East Dulwich School as they have all filled their Sept places. However, you can go on the waiting list for any school you want, (though you only have a realistic chance of getting into your CLOSEST community school, and then only if you live within a couple of hundred metres. I have a feeling your late application will not go against you... if you live CLOSER than other people on the waiting list, you will be put further up the list. If a family decline the place they have been offered, someone from the waiting list will get a place. Unfortunately, as you need TWO places, it might take quite a while... what road are you moving to? What school/s are you hoping for?

Very good post Molly.

She can do what she likes with her own body (though I feel a bit sorry for her child!) but that's a very different thing to using her position as the deputy editor of a parenting magazine to peddle inaccuracies about breastfeeding... Keef it's a very funny world you live in if you truly take that article to be putting across a positive and accurate view!

Keef Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Well then at least she has started a debate. Do we really need to debate the inaccuracy of: ?supposed health benefits [of breastmilk]? Breastmilk has proven health benefits not supposed. ?Over the past decades, evidence for the health advantages of breastfeeding and recommendations for practice have continued to increase. WHO can now say with full confidence that breastfeeding reduces child mortality and has health benefits that extend into adulthood? http://www.who.int/child_adolescent_health/topics/prevention_care/child/nutrition/breastfeeding/en/ ?I also wanted to give my boobs at least a chance to stay on my chest rather than dangling around on my stomach? Breastfeeding does not make breasts sag. ?There was no difference in the extent of ptosis ? the clinical term for breast sagginess ? between those women who had breastfed and those who had not. ? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7082473.stm ?felt like getting tipsy once in awhile? It is possible to drink occasionally and breastfeed ?research shows that occasional drinking, such as one or two units once or twice a week, is not harmful to your baby while you are breastfeeding.? http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/958.aspx?CategoryID=54&SubCategoryID=135

sillywoman Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > A sensible, well thought out response here; > > http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1290442/ > BEL-MOONEY-How-sad-mothers-seen-sex-objects-breast > feed-child.html > Oh yes, that's well worth reading.

In that case I think you are wrong not to pick up that a) she is the deputy editor of the magazine and so cannot be pretending to be just any old mum giving her pesonal experience and b) the whole article is indeed negative about breastfeeding, as well as being very poor journalism, filled with inaccuracies and has managed to offend 1000s of women, breastfeeders AND formula feeders, if you look at the discussion going on via Facebook.

Can we have the classifies split into for sale/wanted etc versus Childcare offered/required?

Keef Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > From the way I read it, she is giving a very > personal viewpoint, and being clear that that is > the case. She doesn't say anything judgemental, or > negative about BF in general, she simply says that > she find the thought creepy, as she looks at her > breasts as part of her sexuality, not as a > functional thing. Au contraire.. have you read the actual article? "Sub heading: You can keep your soggy breast pads, says Kathryn Blundell. Giving your baby formula milk is nothing to be ashamed of. ?It?s right up there with a drug-free birth as the rite of passage that proves you?re all woman and a good mother. Breastfeeding: the most natural thing in the world. But what if, like me, you really don?t fancy it? For some formula feeders, ?not really fancying it? translates into ?concealing the fact that I?m using a bottle?. So visits from health visitors are pre-empted by the scrabble to hide the sterliser under the sink. ?What, oh that bottle. I?ve been expressing so Dave can give feeds.? Hmm. But why the shame? Sure, breastmilk has the edge over infant formula ? it?s free, it doesn?t need heating up and you can whip up a feed in the middle of the night without having to get out of bed. Then there are studies that show it reduces the risk of breast cancer for you, and stomach upsets and allergies for your baby. But even the convenience and supposed health benefits of breastmilk couldn?t induce me to stick my nipple into a bawling baby?s mouth. HANDS OFF After nine months of denial, lardiness and bad shoes, as soon as the birth was out of the way I want my body back. (And some wine). Not that I had anything particularly useful to do with my body, except ? paradoxically ? care for my baby. I also wanted to give my boobs at least a chance to stay on my chest rather than dangling around on my stomach, which, after two pregnancies, still has ?tonal? issues of its own. They?re part of my sexuality, too ? not just breasts, but fun bags. And when you have that attitude (and I admit I made no attempt to change it), seeing your teeny, tiny, innocent baby latching on where only a lover has been before feels, well, a little creepy. FORMULA WON I don?t think I?m the only one, either ? only 52% of mums still breastfeed after six weeks. Ask most of the quitters why they stopped and you?ll hear tales of agonising three-hour feeding sessions and ? the drama! ? bloody nipples. But I often wonder whether many of these women, like me, just couldn?t be fagged or felt like getting tipsy once in awhile. My reasons for not breastfeeding might not be in the league of ?my boobs are falling off?, but they make sense to me and I hope some women can be reassured by my honesty. I wasn?t always so confident about being an out-and-proud formula fan. I recall one sunny afternoon when, happily feeding my baby in the park, ducks quacking in the distance, a passing stranger ? also a mum ? asked me whether I was breastfeeding. Reeling from the impertinence of such a personal question (and anyway, wasn?t the bottle in my hand a give away/) I hesitated to answer. Say ?yes? and I?d be a liar. Say ?no? and, from the pursing of her lips and arch of her brow, it was clear I?d be marked as a weak, selfish mum, straight from the Vicky Pollard school of parenting. The clock was ticking. Liar? Bad mum? I plumped for bad mum. ?You do know your baby will get sick if you give him that poison,? she said, flouncing off. Thanks, sister. Great advice. THE WHITE STUFF So, time for a reality check. Formula milk is not toxic, lacking in nutrients or in any way bad for a baby?s health when prepared properly ? and we can all read the back of a packet for instructions. No, it?s not A-grade, but neither is it powdered scum that will turn my baby into an anaemic ball of flab with a life expectancy of three. Nor is the fact my baby suckles on silicone rather than skin going to give him a mental illness or mean we don?t bond. That?s just ridiculous. The Milk Mafia can keep their guilt trips. Bullying other mums about something as special and nurturing as feeding their babies (and yes, bottle feeding can be lovely and intimate) is a depth that even Vicky Pollard wouldn?t sink to. So, let?s hear it, ladies, for modern nutritional science, but most of all for our freedom of choice "

I find it hard to understand how any mother could openly declare she couldn't be "fagged" to try breastfeeding because drinking was more important! (especially as you CAN bf and drink in moderation) I have seen several formula feeding mothers say the article has made them feel very uncomfortable feeding in public, in case people jump to the conclusoon that their reason for formula feeding is as shallow and selfish as the writer of the article!

Since my difficulties with the admin at the Lanes (which led to me not getting booked at 12 weeks) I had a reassuring meeting with the supervisor of midwives, I alerted her to the fact several other women from the EDF have contacted me with similar experiences, and this is what she said: "Thanks for the two follow up information e mails of other women?s experiences. I have passed them on to Kate and to The Lanes midwives. As you know any concerns about our service are rigorously reviewed through the Trust Complaints processes. Errors sadly do occur and everyone involved regrets this, usually acknowledges the resulting distress and any harm if it has occurred. The Trust actively learns from this trying to prevent reoccurrence. I think it important to say to you and would ask that this is clarified in any discussions you have with friends or other local women that: - Since The Lanes Midwifery Practice has started at Dulwich Medical Centre there has been a significant increase in the number of women registered with DMC who are pregnant (this reflects the 36% increase in birthrate at King?s since 2002). The Lanes Midwifery Practice was set up for the number of pregnant women at that time and is not resourced to provide a safe level of their model of service to the unexpected increase in additional pregnant women. Prior to establishing this midwifery practice, pregnant women at DMC received continuity of antenatal care from the same midwife who provided all midwifery antenatal care at the surgery at specific antenatal clinic sessions weekly. The Lanes midwives recognized that the birth rate was increasing at DMC also that they cannot provide a 24hour midwifery service with continuity of care safely to meet the requirements of the additional number of pregnant women and families. The initial provision to meet the increased demand is that an additional midwife now provides antenatal clinic sessions every week in Dulwich Hospital and works closely with The Lanes. This is to ensure that women at least have continuity of midwifery carer antenatally. The women who have this provision are also able to plan a home birth and will have their labour care provided by our excellent Community Midwifery service that is also very skilled at supporting women at home. Until additional midwifery resource can be secured from Commissioners of our maternity service this means that for women who are registered with DMC They are all offered continuity of midwifery care antenatally They are all offered a choice of place of birth including homebirth They are all provided with midwives who are skilled and confident in supporting and caring for women who plan a homebirth Women who are not booked with The Lanes midwives will not necessarily know the midwife who cares for them in labour. Those who plan a homebirth are invited to ?a meet the community midwives? meeting later in their pregnancy. Those who are planning a hospital birth are all offered antenatal and parenting preparation sessions organized by Hospital Antenatal Midwifery services. Women booked with The Lanes midwives usually know the midwife who supports them in labour whether it is in hospital or at home. The exception is as in any other part our service if staff are unable to work for any reason (sickness, professional development, maternity leave etc) As a service we have been working relentlessly for several years with our hospital Trust and local Primary Care Trust to increase the number of Midwifery Group Practices which are most likely to provide continuity of midwifery care and a known midwife to women throughout their maternity care. We have also done the same to increase the overall number of midwives to provide good quality and safe maternity care throughout all parts of the service, in the hospital based facilities and visiting women and their babies at home. This has and continues to be a challenge to catch up with the ever increasing birth rate locally. We are very happy that DMC has The Lanes Midwifery Practice which was a new group practice started as a direct result of successful bid for additional funding to meet the increased birth rates and to provide women with better care and midwives with a job that is both attainable and enjoyable. We realise that this is disappointing but the situation for pregnant and postnatal women at DMC is similar to that for all women receiving midwifery care at King?s. Some women are with Midwifery Group Practices (We have 10 Midwifery Group Practices, two of which started late in 2008 after had new funding. One was The Lanes) Some women are with Community Midwives Teams who provide midwifery antenatal care usually in GP surgeries; homebirth labour care; postnatal care at home Some women are with the Hospital Antenatal Midwives attending ?The Midwives House?. They will have their labour and hospital based postnatal care with hospital midwifery team and their postnatal care at home with the Community Midwives Most pregnant women at DMC are with The Lanes midwives and some have antenatal continuity from the midwife linked to The Lanes who provides care at the weekly clinic at Dulwich Hospital. I acknowledge how disappointing it is for anyone who expects to be with The Lanes midwives and finds that this service is not available for them early in their pregnancy and are on a ?waiting list?. We continue to strive to provide a safe and acceptable midwifery and maternity service to all women and babies within the resources which we have been given. We continue to work persistently with the hospital Trust and our local PCT to both increase maternity staffing levels and physical facilities both in the hospital and in the community where we can provide the maternity service. We welcome your feedback and particularly value local women who use or have used King?s maternity services to be involved in planning new services and improving current services. If you or any of your friends would be interested in this, please contact me."

I have received an interesting mail from the supervisor of midwives which I will post separately

I haven't had experience of settling a child in for a full day, but for 2-3h sessions. From my experience of that, and settling in to school etc, you need to get the right balance between being there at first to reassure him that this is an OK place, while not hovering anxiously.. let him get on with it and form a relationship his keyworker. I'd suggest doing the two sessions they suggest, then go for it (but either hang around for a while out of sight until you can see he is distracted .. or call to check he's not too distraught. I think it's better (at least at first) to adopt the approach of saying firmly "Mumm is going shopping now, I will be back soon, have a lovely time" rather than just trying to sneak off.. I think that makes them nervous. It's a bit different once they are mostly settled, if they find the goodbye bit hard, at that point I think a quick dash out of the door is a bit different

How many hours will he be doing?

The Nappy Lady Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Hi, > > I'm sure she would love to hear from people > nationwide, and F I think your experience would be > of interest too if you were up for speaking to > her. > > Thanks again all. I have emailed her > > Molly (amanda)

I think it's also to do with how much control and knowledge you feel you have. With the twins I really wanted to be mobile, not continuously monitored, allow twin II to come in their own time... I had good support for my wishes and everything went very smoothly for twin I, I even spent some time in the pool, he was born 3h after my waters were broken.. unfortunately twin II didn't play ball and after waiting for almost 2h, I agreed to be examined and she was feet over her head... (the sort of situation where sometimes twin II ends up born by caesarean) I knew we'd given her a good chance to turn and descend and she hadn't, so I felt Ok emotionally about the intervention that then followec (she was turned manually which was excrutiating, drip to strengthen contractions and stop her wandering off again, into theatre to have her waters broken, theatre in case cord got trapped and in case we needed an instrumental delivery) and all that just on gas and air... yet despite that sort of thing not at all being in my "plan" I have never had a moment's worry about it as I am convinced it was necessary, I just wanted to be finished, and she may have got into difficulty if we had waited longer. But if all that had been "foisted" on me immediately after twin I was born, unexpectedly, (and the hospital procedure IS to deliver twin II asap after twin I) we would have missed out on skin to skin and twin I's first feed etc etc... so for us, having a dr who was sympathetic with our wishes (our plan wasn't hugely detailed but it did specify skin to skin with twin I and waiting for twin II to come by herself) made all the difference. I have known many women who had inductions that to me seemed doomed from the start (not favourable) for dubious reasons (eg automatically booked by the hospital for 41 weeks) that have been a nightmare, and ended up in an emergency CS. I would find it hard to reconcile myself if I looked back on birth and that had happened to me.

When you've had twins you get used to going to hospital appts alone.. for a long time I was at Kings weekly for scans, haematology etc and by the very end, pretty much every day... doesn't mean Mr F isn't concerned, just not practical for him to be there the whole time...

Between 12-15 weeks while I was waiting for my booking in appointment and getting increasingly frustrated about the letter they sent and their failure to call me back, I did mutter to him about it but he didn't pay much attention..like many (most?) dads he doesn't come to antenatal appts, only scans... On the morning when I started bleeding, he had gone to work and I couldn't initially get through to him (left a message on his mobile) and I was concentrating on trying to speak to the midwives, then the drs receptionist, then then got a call from the emergency GP... then I was trying to arrange someone to watch the twins...(DS1 was at school) then I dashed off to Kings.. all that took about 2 hours and I'd been therejust over an hour when he called me back... by then it wasn't worth him coming down as I was about to be seen. But as PRD says.. what difference does it make? Admittedly he probably would have had a bit of a shout at someone or another, I suppose...