LOL Posts

[Keef]

Thought I'd start a new thread for posts that have really made you spit your tea over your keyboard!

I'd like to start with this

macroban Wrote:

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> Ocado has been making huge losses for the last eight years and was just about to break even when the recession hit. This > service may not survive.

>

> Foxtons sales are running at under 50% of the 2008 business plan. This service may not survice.

>

> I would not be buying shares in London Scaffolding, which had a near monoploy for East Dulwich loft conversions.

Which drew this response.

Macroban.. you've excelled yourself.

Be sure to pop over in December and give our boy the hard facts about Father Christmas.

Top drawer >:D<

[SeanMacGabhann]

that was a good one - but not QUITE as good as a similar one from *bob* re: t'ban

"the sort of person who sits next to you on the plane before asking if you had switched the iron off"

[TillieTrotter]

This thread will be full of *Bob*s quips I'm sure.

[Keef]

Hmmm...it's said charity begins at home, which isn't much help if you're homeless.

[lozzyloz]

Some interesting points being made on this thread. Not particularly relevant to my question, but I have given up on anyone responding to that in a sensible manner.

[benjaminty]

I liked this one.... another *bob* spesh..

*Bob* Wrote:

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> I see what you're getting at now, jrussel.

>

> If I may present my own parallel experience:

>

> The other day I had a disagreement with an orange,

> who I accused of behaving exactly like Celine

> Dion. I understand that there are differences

> between oranges and Celine Dion (geographical

> origin, accents, cruel thin nose etc) but in the

> context of our disagreement - first and foremost -

> and without (herewith) no further ado, I, er..

>

> And other nonsensical made-up stuff.

Good work Bob!

[mockney piers]

From Keef on the pasta thread:

"Isn't pasta very popular with young Australians? Or is it Kiwis, I just can't tell them apart."

[Strawbs]

Brendan for me definitely needs a mention.. Too many to cut and paste but more often than not he has me giggling at my desk..

[Jah Lush]

ed_pete Wrote:

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> Is this not more of a lounge topic ?

No Pete, for heaven's sake pay attention.

MM wants to have a picnic, at the very least he'd have to go as far as the garden.

You can't have a picnic in a living room.

Another fine riposte from HonaloochieB, whose well tuned sense of humour always makes me smile.

[Jah Lush]

And another gem from HonaloochieB from the Old Fogies thread today. This guy is seriously funny and has me laughing out loud on a regular basis..

It's refreshing to hear a lady adopting a modest mien these days (if mien is the word I'm looking for).

There are far too many 'fast pieces' parading around in outfits that would be considered racey in the marital bed, let alone in the 'less than ten items' queue in Sainburys.

I sometimes find myself surrounded by midriffs, cleavage (upper and lower), and thighs.

I know it's not fashionable to use the phrase 'brazen hussy' mowadays, but these women are brazen hussies.

It's makes it hard to be gentleman these days.

[Keef]

Agreed Jah, when he's on form he rivals anyone.

[mightyroar]

I am also a fan of the work of *Bob*, but let us not forget the following from Colindaz- I am particularly fond of the ?15 discount for niceness to animals (in bold)

"When Glass as been toughend the only week points are the edges, so as long as all edges are protected you can't break it.

You can jump up and down on a piece of toughend glass and it will not break, but tap a edge with a metal object and it will explode.

One of the biggest glass companys in the world (Pilkinton glass) toughend the glass for your unit and I think they should know a thing or two about glass, don't you think so.

I wouldn't ask a carpenter about glass

I wouldn't ask a glazier about wood

The cheapest option for me would of been a panel and glass as we discussed ( I would of made a lot more money that way)

I wanted you to be happy with the finished job, so it looked good and it would still be sercure.

The only reason for not having a square cut out in a unit is the large cost involved.

They charged me ?70 per square hole in each piece of glass plus ?60 for the unit a total of ?200

I was going to charge you ?265 fitted (not the ?280 we agreed) because I liked the two of you for what you were willing to do for your dogs.

I was told the unit would be ready in a week, but it wasn't ready until wednesday.

I should of phoned and explained, but I had more pressing problems at the time as explained on the phone later"

[Keef]

Another good one from HonaloochieB

SeanMacGabhann Wrote:

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> >

> Speaking for my people Keef... - oh ok then,

> speaking for me..

>

> There IS a certain type of English person who

> likes to use the history between both countries to

> try and be the big man. And yes the English have a

> poor history with regard to the treatment of Irish

> (B&Bs with no black no dogs no Irish in the window

> doesn't scream "parity" does it?)

Honestly the way Paddies pronounce 'party' cracks me up.

Filum, that's amother one.

[Jah Lush]

Ha!

Keef Wrote:

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> I too have thrown everything at my liver, and as

> yet it's still doing it's thing... I also smell of

> drink sometimes, which makes me want to go to the

> pub :)-D

[SeanMacGabhann]

still chuckling as I write now...

[Asset]

HB - as well as being a medium pencil, is female.

[Jah Lush]

Good grief! Are you sure?

[annaj]

I love threads like this. Hope I don't become psychotic if I ever have kids.

Hee hee!

Well said :))

[HonaloochieB]

Asset Wrote:

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> HB - as well as being a medium pencil, is female.

Medium pencil you say. Flatterer.

[HonaloochieB]

Asset Wrote:

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> HB - as well as being a medium pencil, is female.

Female you say? Thanks for letting me know Asset, up until now no one's had the courtesy to tell me.

[Asset]

Well, I'm guessing obviously but some of your posts have led me to that deduction. I can't be biffed trawling through to pinpoint them but I might have to now!

[Asset]

OK, I take it back. I must have been thinking of another ambiguously named poster. Sorry for being so presumptious.

[HonaloochieB]

Not apology necessary Asset. Though I was amused that your previous post implied that you were going to come up with a decision on the matter.

HonaloochieBetty

[Asset]

I am notoriously indecisive

[Jah Lush]

Are you sure?