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A couple of years ago I passed two women in the street, very overweight, scraped-back hair, tracksuits, with a gaggle of about ten kids of various sizes between them. As they went into McDonald's one of them bellowed at her daughter, 'SHANIA!'

I was in crystal Palace park, there were two ladies together, the tattooed Fred Perry wearing skin headed one of the pair bellowed (in the very finest sarf london tambre) toward a golden haired angel of a child


"CHARDONNAAAAAAAAY WE'RE GOIN' NAW"


It was exquisite

There was a girl in my brother's class at school called Iona Horsefield.


As a teenager, I used to babysit for an American kid called BJ. (I had no idea)


For me the most cringeworthy ones are those with made up spellings, my friends ex has a child called 'Jorja'. Pronounced like Georgia. Or rather Jorjaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Luke Warmwater. A friend swore blind she'd gone to school with a lad of this name. I thought it was genius on his parent's part.



But I've had a few odd looks when people have heard me call after my younger daughter so I'm not sure I'm one to judge.

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