bigbadwolf

Have you two actually won anything yet?

No. I only watch the most extreme animal porn. If it doesn't have at least one Quadruped and a rolling pin then I'm not interested.

No you've mistaken my endowment due to the fact that it was only halfway in, I'll be balls deep by tea time.

Judging by the Nunhead forum, Nunhead is pretty Human free.

And do your neighbours also while away yhe hours on the Nunhead forum..dreaming..dreaming of having a bigger dick..?

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that AllforNun's posts are making very little sense.

I've just about had it with you lot! Brendan initiates a thread asking for you violent choices of punishment for various 'faces' in the public eye and this is all you can come up with. You should be ashamed of yourselves! Well, I suppose that as per usual it's up to me to get things back on the right track. Who would I like to slap? Well to be honest there are plenty of people I'd like to slap but there are a lot of celebrities that I'd like to subject to heinous acts of unspeakably barbaric violence. 1) Alexander Prior Alex has only just appeared on my radar but after watching channel 4's 'The 16 year old composer' he's earned himself a position in my hate chart. I think the best course of action would be to tie his parents to a chair and force them to watch as I douse their child in petrol and set him alight. 2) The cast of channel 4's 'Skins' I've often wondered what sort of punishment I'd subject these cretins to but after being subjected to an episode where they have a party in a forest the answer came to me. Invite all the twits to a party in the woods. I wouldn't be present but I'd be watching the event through a military grade night scope viewing the mayhem and tradgedy the acid and E's I'd bought from the north Korean goverment were causing the care free delinquents of channel 4's Bristol. Once they realised that something sinister and 'uncool' was unfolding in the forest around them I'd start firing .50 calibre hollow points treated with Ricin and depleted uranium into their malnourished torso's. Now time for phase 2. I'd instigate a pincer movement using my private military contractors sourced from Chechnya, war criminals from Yugoslavia and Rwanda and a few South Africans for good measure to start mopping up any of the fleeing if not mutilated middle class revellers armed solely with rusty bread knifes and salt n vinegar. Phase 3, locate main cast. The boys will be taken via rendition flights to C.I.A and MI6 black sites in north Africa and Kazakstan where they would be forced to dress normally and do normal part time work but I'd eventually get bored and subject them to a 'Hostel 1+2' style incarceration. The girls would simply be stabbed in the face. I'd then deliver a tape of the final moments of their agony to their real life parents in an envelope marked 'ITV'. 3) P Diddy/Dudleigh or whatever the fcuk he calls himself these days. This one is easy. Cover him in a sticky substance (you could use spunk) and cover hin in pollen. Stick him in a confined space and release a swarm of Bee's and watch them sting him to death. 4) Gordon Ramsey I don't like this man and he looks like a scrunched up old leather sofa. I'd turn on a deep fat fryer and stick his head in it! 5) Bob Geldof I'd give him the money by dropping a ton of pound coins on him, I might even use Euros to add insult to injury.

Sorry HAL, I did that a while back but with some rather rude adjustments. It was in the chav thread. Copycat.

Be honest Woof......was any of that true?

Jockey

Probably.

He's not in jail. The Met canvassed Forest hill and Sydenham last year with letters and visits but I don't think they got any new leads. He's obviously very careful not to leave any clues behind as to who he is.

Can't they come up with a more original name instead of the night stalker.

Only Eunuch's can do that giggirl.

I'm loving it - Justin Timberlake

Right I know they're not films but I have to give these two BBC series a bump. 1) Edge of darkness A master piece from Troy Kennedy Martin, creator of the Italian job. This political thriller delves deep into murky areas the establishment/government would prefer to be left alone. It's set in the mid 80's and follows a Yorkshire police officer Ronald Craven (Bob Peck) who is hunting the killer of his daughter (Joanne Whalley) and along the path of his investigation gets involved in Nuclear politics and various other agencies out to get him. Bob Peck's grieving performance blew me away. When I was younger my father tried to get me to watch this as I was doing my A-level history coursework but I wasn't interested in it. I wish I had. It came up in conversation a while back and I agreed to watch the box set and I was transfixed and watched the whole 6 hour series back to back. I thoroughly recommend this to anyone interested in the cold war or thrillers in general. Apparently there's an American remake scheduled for realease next year and I'm not happy about this. Ray Winstone has treacherously accepted a role and should be knifed like a fish! 2) Bleak House This Dickens adaptation was on a few years back and includes an all star cast. Gillian Anderson and Charles Dance stole the show and Johnny Vegas was a surprising compliment to the series. Gillian Anderson's Lady Deadlock was a sublime piece of acting that carried poise and surpressed guilt that was a stark contrast to Carles Dance's Mr Tulkinghorn who was 100% ice cold manipulator of peoples secrets. I have the entire DVD box set of Bleak House and will lend it to anyone who can make me a reasonable offer, Spliff or a six pack will do.

Writer (Gotthold Ephraim Lessing)

I can confirm that both *Bob* and Ted Max voted for the highest bidder.

Did anyone else find it a bit unnecessary for the police who was responsible for zapping the offender to shout "tazer tazer tazer" every time he turned on the juice. I was also incredibly dissapointed that when they shocked the offender his hair didn't stand on end. This is how you tazer someone.

I told you you'd like the wrestler Sean. Ghost dog way of the Samurai is one of Forrest Whittaker's finest performances.

Well done Hona (Awesome film as well)

I saw 'Doubt' starring Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Streep was excellent but I think she carried her performance from The devil wears Prada. Hoffman played a convincing Nonce. I wasn't expecting it to end like it did though. Saw Death defying acts with Guy Pearce and Catherine Zeta-Jones and it was gash.

Oh yeah, thats right Ted, pick on me.....................But yes, I am sore over it.

I don't know about the rest of you but the main character looks as though he's got learning difficulties.

You beat me to it Tony. I heard that Hona might of been drinking on his own again last night so I thought I'd lift his mood.