"I was a wretch headed for a life of drug crime and violence and my Pastor encouraged me to try Stareathon. I struggled at first, but gradually, match by match, I gained the respect of my peers and found my identity. And look at me today. I can make dogs defecate just by staring at them from twenty paces. Stareathon turned me from the dark side. Now I run a thriving dog-walking service. Think again, Bro!"