Jah Lush

Yeah! Saturday's Grab A Granny night innit.

Good points there Keef. But I think the Plough deserves it this year overall. When you consider what a horrible dump it was before the revamp. OK, they need more staff and it seems the good folk of Dulwich do love a moan about the Sunday roasts but when you think what it used to be like. You'd have crossed the road to avoid it. I really like the new Mag but I think the awards have come a bit too soon this year for it to be worthy of my vote. Maybe next year and certainly if they keep up the good work they've put in so far.

I always thought Abbot & Costello were a comedy act from the 40s and 50s. Did they diversify into running Pizzerias then?

Did You No Wrong - Sex Pistols

"Pile on"...my fecking arse. What sort of posh school did you go to? Eton or Harrow? Bundle!!!!

Got The Feeling - The Jeff Beck Group

I mean't I can't. Sorry old bean. *Dashes to the loo to evacuate bowels*.

Oh! bugger this old bean. It's bloody cold out here. Come back in and I'll buy a you pint. Sorry about that. I thought you was someone else. Bloody service in here's diabolical.

Wot! Like a facking dougnut? Come on then!

You Got The Look - Prince & Sheena Easton

Right that's it. Outside NOW!!!!!

Sugar Sugar - The Archies

Wot you looking at? You staring at my bird?

Mad World - Tears For Fears

Maon Of The World - Fleetwood Mac

Song Of The Baker - The Small Faces

From Her To Eternity - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. 'I'd love to be eight again' she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early and made her a bowl of Coco Pops and jammy toasties! He took her to Alton Towers and put her on every ride in the park: The Death Slide, The Wall of Fear, The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away they went to a McDonalds where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate milkshake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest Kiddies three hour epic cartoon, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, her favourite lolly and M&Ms! What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked 'Well dear, what was it like being eight again?' Her eyes slowly opened and her expression changed to one of total realisation...'I meant my dress size, you idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' The moral of this story: Even when a man is listening, he's still gonna get it wrong.....

Mine goes posthumously to The Drum. RIP.

Asset Wrote: > Mr Asset makes the best 'curry' in ED so we never > get to try the local restaurants. All round to yours then. Failing that Omrith - 2 votes.

Harry could always take a leaf out of this manager's book. Paul Whitehouse - The Football Manager

Why a duck?

I think you'll find that Nick Cave was inspired to write these lyrics whilst desperately waiting to be served in the Dog one afternoon. THIRSTY DOG I know you've heard it all before But I'm sorry for this three year war For the setting up of camps and wire and trenches I'm sorry for the other night I know sorry it don't make it right I'm sorry for things I can't even mention I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I'm sitting feeling sorry in the Thirsty Dog I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I'm feeling very sorry in the Thirsty Dog You keep nailing me back into my box I'm sorry I keep popping back up With my crazy mouth and jangling jester's cap I'm sorry I ever wrote that book I'm sorry for the way I look But there ain't a lot that I can do about that I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I'm sitting feeling sorry in the Thirsty Dog I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I'm feeling very sorry in the Thirsty Dog I'm sorry about the hospital Some things are unforgivable That things simply cannot be forgiven I was not equipped to know how to care And on the occassions I came up for air I saw my life and wondered what the hell I had been living I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I'm sitting feeling sorry in the Thirsty Dog I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I'm feeling very very sorry in the Thirsty Dog I'm sorry about all your friends I hope they'll speak to me again I said before I'd pay for all the damages I'm sorry it's just rotten luck I'm sorry I've forgotten how to fuck It's just that I think my heart and soul are kind of famished I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I'm sitting feeling sorry in the Thirsty Dog I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I'm feeling very sorry in the Thirsty Dog Forgive me, baby but don't worry Love is always having to say you're sorry And I am, from my head down to my shoes I'm sorry that I'm always pissed I'm sorry that I exist And when I look into your eyes I can see you're sorry too I'm sorry, sorry, sorry I'm sitting feeling sorry in the Thirsty Dog I'm sorry, sorry, sorry I'm feeling very sorry in the Thirsty Dog I'm sorry, sorry, sorry I'm feeling very thirsty in the Sorry Dog I'm sorry, sorry, sorry I'm feeling very sorry in the Thirsty Dog

Be Good To Yourself - Frankie Miller

But he wasn't even the best photographer in the Beatles.